Foul language on here.

[Lemondrizzle4A]

AIBU to expect people to use less foul language on here. I’m put off by people using c , f.
Im not a prude and believe me there is many a time I’ve used the F word in conversations but wouldn’t dream of using it on here and never the c word.
Edited as deleted the asterisks - obviously doesn’t like them.

You lot revel in saying "fuck" and cunt" on here to intimidate posters who aren't comfortable with that language

They're doing it in reaction to people trying to dictate to them how they can and can't express themselves, and in my opinion that's a reasonable response. If a random stranger told any of us that we should change, eg, our clothes or our appearance in general because they found our appearance unpleasant and off-putting, we would be highly unlikely to say 'Oh, of course, I'm so sorry' and start dressing differently. We would continue to dress exactly as we wanted in their presence, and most people would think we were totally reasonable to do so, rather than thinking we were trying to bully or intimidate someone. Language is no different to that. It's a personal preference and nobody has the right to go about their day unoffended.

Adults telling other adults not to swear are essentially suggesting that their arbitrary preferences are more important than anyone else's, and to 'expect' (as the OP said she does) other people to conform to that is overbearing and entitled and every bit as rude as swearing, and deserves every bit of push-back.

If I know someone personally who is upset by swearing, and who manages to express that without telling me off like a teacher reprimanding a child, I don't swear in front of them. I never swear in front of my mum, or my MIL, or in the company of my friends' children, for instance. But none of those people ever start blustering about what they 'expect', implying that swearing is a sign of ignorance or poor vocabulary (it doesn't, and studies have repeatedly proved that) or implying that the world should be adjusted around them. They're people I care about and who treat me with respect, so I treat them with respect in return and I don't swear.

Someone I don't know from Adam, who informs me that they 'expect' me to express myself in their preferred manner in an online space for adults, isn't treating me with respect and therefore I don't modify my behaviour to pander to them.

Also, I do just really like the word 'cunt'.

It diminishes the argument because it’s an outburst and not a crafted response

Swearing can be every bit as crafted and deliberate and creative as not swearing. People who swear for emphasis are making a choice to do that. You might not like that choice, but it doesn't mean they're uncontrolled or inarticulate or that their argument isn't valid.

Absolutely. I have four degrees in literature, speak five languages, and I don’t lack vocabulary — if I choose to use ‘bad language’, it is absolutely for emphasis, appropriateness to context, mouthfeel etc.

Rest what case? Yabu to expect it.

Cunt is like a term of endearment here in Scotland

Haha, maybe OP and the more highbrow anti-swearing posters would have preferred us to use Chaucer's spellings of queyntes and erses.

I'm entirely capable of articulating what I mean, and I have an extensive vocabulary.

These threads always throw up a couple of posters who believe that those who swear do so because they have a poor vocabulary. This is emphatically not the case.

I use words daily which other people don't appear to recognise, and I don't mean "cunt" or "fuck".

Aye, hen.
🤣

Totally agree

I sometimes use Talk to Text and it automatically puts the stars in in.
Language is very subjective .What somebody finds offensive somebody else isn't going be in the slightest bit bothered about. I think it depends on context I wouldn't expect somebody to drop cunt and fuck at parents' evening in a primary school but in an online forum m where at times people are very upset I wouldn't get bothered about it.
I do think the argument that it shows a lack of vocabulary is absolute bullshit and is a really lazy statement.

Fuck as a word is as old as the hills, I think there have been theories as to how it came into being, such as Forbidden Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, but I don’t think it’s ever been proven. Anyway it’s much easier to say ‘oh fuck that hurts’ than ‘oh sex that hurts’.
Dunno how cunt came into being. But I find it interesting what makes some words seem offensive (when unrelated to blasphemy)compared to others. When I was growing up ‘shit’ was seen as a very ‘bad’ word, and yet ‘ poo’ or ‘crap’ were just dandy. At primary school I got ticked off for saying asking to go to the ‘loo’, and it had to be called the ‘water closet’ quite a mouthful for a small kid, even the word ‘toilet’ was seen as poor form 🫣. Personally I’d rather be called a fucker or a fuckwit than an arsehole, if I fuckup or do something aresholery, but that’s just my preference as I don’t like the phrase arsehole, and calling someone a useless sphincter muscle just doesn’t have the same ring to it😆.

I recently saw a reel with a 3 year old child having found his Christmas elf on the toilet seat which was covered in chocolate spread.

He shouted to his mother who was recording his reaction,

"what's he done"
"what's he done"
" He's done a f...... sh..."

I was shocked but I'm ashamed to admit I was in hysterics.

And the Middle English swyving, which I’ve always liked, and which was standard before ‘fuck’ came into use around the 16thc.

They're doing it in reaction to people trying to dictate to them how they can and can't express themselves, and in my opinion that's a reasonable response.

This. MN is one of the few places on the internet where women's speech isn't policed.

To call that "bullying" is to weaponise #bekind into something that is actually very unkind.

No-one dies from reading the words fuck or cunt or dick or twat. No-one is forced to use that language and no-one is judged for not using that language.

Whereas the OP and other PPs calling it bullying or distasteful are attempting to police other women's speech. Not a very #kind thing, nor a particularly sisterly thing to do.

I’ve had a 4 decade career writing software and have never once come across ‘database’ as a verb until this thread. I suppose it’s a convenient lazy shorthand if you only have one possible database to log/archive/store/… your information in.

Quite so. I don’t very often swear in writing but don’t mind if others do to express their emotion or for humorous effect.
At this time of year I might roll out my bird interpreter; all those songs and calls are basically saying either:
Fuck off!
or
Fuck me!
or
Fuck! WTF? (Mostly that’s pheasants)

Its also far more confusing when people misuse standard nouns or other words than when they swear.

If someone swears I’m pretty clear on what they actually mean. When they change the meaning of existing terms I wonder what the hell they are talking about.

As my dearest, posh chum would say "Don't be a can't."

Fuck! WTF? (Mostly that’s pheasants)

Because pheasants are airheads.

Same in Australia

well - i knew how this thread was going to go before i even read it 😂.

It’s a default word or string of words that don’t articulate an argument. For example, in court, no barrister would be allowed to swear. Or a witness. They have to find words to state the exact position of the case or what they saw or believe to be the truth. Human beings are capable of that.

Of course human beings are capable of that. We are capable of many things. Does the fact that we are capable of it make it obligatory? Why should we treat a discussion on Mumsnet like we’re barristers trying to make a case in court? We don’t treat conversations with friends like that, or customer service calls. It’s irrelevant that people can do it - just as the fact that people wear business suits and uniforms in some jobs is irrelevant to jobs with no such requirement.

If you’re ready to dismiss or ignore an argument because someone has sworn when making it, I’m afraid you’re the one limiting yourself.

I just came here for the swearing. I wasn't disappointed 😂

One of my favourite ejaculations of frustration is fuckitybumshit!

I'd like to add this to the MN lexicon but I'm aware these things happen organically.

What case? It's fine for you to not like it. Swearing not directed at me doesn't bother me in the slightest.