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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

335 replies

Roxen · 14/03/2026 14:54

First of all, I know they are 18 so I have no control over this, it’s more about the debate between DH and I.

DH and I have twins who are 18, in their last year of school, they are doing IB diploma so it’s quite intense, has a lot involved in it, exams start at the end of April and run through May.

We agreed to neither of them having part time jobs as between their studies and the extra things they have to do they wouldn’t have time. However this weekend I’m feeling quite annoyed about that, as neither of them are going to do anything remotely related to school.

Last night they went to a friends birthday party, got home at about 2am, they then along with DD sat up for the F1 sprint race. Went to sleep for a few hours woke back up for qualifying and went to sleep again afterwards. Now they have all gone to the pub where they will stay all day for the 6 nations matches. DD has said when she gets home she will watch the Indian wells tennis semi-finals, before going to sleep and waking up for the F1 tomorrow. They then all have tickets for a football game tomorrow, before going out for dinner with school friends.

I think this is a stupid amount of time to spend doing very little over a whole weekend, I don’t really enjoy watching sports but my kids do and I increasingly feel it takes up all of their time. DH thinks it’s fine, it’s culture and they can study another weekend. I think if they have the time to waste a weekend away in front of the TV, they have time to take on a part time job.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Pikachu150 · 15/03/2026 10:48

mathanxiety · 15/03/2026 01:32

Yes indeed - there's a lot of sentimental foolishness apparent on this thread.

My DCs worked at babysitting from their early teens and got hourly part time jobs thanks to the references from people they babysat for, then while at u iversity held down part time jobs. They had long CVs by the time they started interviewing for graduate level career track positions.

Regardless of the difficulty of finding jobs, I bet there are plenty of smart young people out there working part time, and they will reap the benefits when future employers see that they managed time well, getting excellent A level or IB results while also turning up and doing their PT jobs. A student who has no references, no experience dealing with ordinary working environments, and who can show no evidence of ability to manage their time is not going to be as attractive a prospect as one who can show they can keep several plates spinning and still get excellent results.

In today's graduate job market, grades are only a part of the picture a graduate presents to a future employer.

Show quote history

Don't be ridiculous. They can get plenty of work experience in the holidays.

Doteycat · 15/03/2026 11:17

mathanxiety · 15/03/2026 01:32

Yes indeed - there's a lot of sentimental foolishness apparent on this thread.

My DCs worked at babysitting from their early teens and got hourly part time jobs thanks to the references from people they babysat for, then while at u iversity held down part time jobs. They had long CVs by the time they started interviewing for graduate level career track positions.

Regardless of the difficulty of finding jobs, I bet there are plenty of smart young people out there working part time, and they will reap the benefits when future employers see that they managed time well, getting excellent A level or IB results while also turning up and doing their PT jobs. A student who has no references, no experience dealing with ordinary working environments, and who can show no evidence of ability to manage their time is not going to be as attractive a prospect as one who can show they can keep several plates spinning and still get excellent results.

In today's graduate job market, grades are only a part of the picture a graduate presents to a future employer.

Show quote history

Completely incorrect. Utter waffle.

Badbadbunny · 15/03/2026 12:49

Pikachu150 · 15/03/2026 10:48

Don't be ridiculous. They can get plenty of work experience in the holidays.

Show quote history

Where are the hundreds of thousands of "holiday" jobs coming from?? Firms are cutting back, not employing more. The days are long gone where we had paper rounds, milk rounds, Saturday jobs in greengrocers or boarding houses, etc. We're now in a corporate world, and corporates aren't interested in helping a local youngster earn a few quid by doing menial work like cleaning, waiting, shop work, delivering milk, etc., as used to happen in the 80s and 90s.

Slinky1460 · 15/03/2026 13:01

As long as you're not financially supporting their lifestyle, it's their life to live. They should be enjoying themselves while they still can.

user2848502016 · 15/03/2026 13:02

They are allowed time off to have fun surely?
As long as they were doing schoolwork and study when required, and doing chores around the house this wouldn’t bother me.

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:03

Iloveeverycat · 14/03/2026 15:03

I have never got involved in my adult childrens lives. They can use their spare time to do what they want to do. Why does it affect you so much.

She's paying for them

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:06

CharlotteRumpling · 14/03/2026 16:19

Where are the jobs for teens with no experience? Almost impossible.

My kids all had jobs from 16 so not that bloody impossible. DS was 16 during COVID and still managed a part time job

CharlotteRumpling · 15/03/2026 13:29

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:06

My kids all had jobs from 16 so not that bloody impossible. DS was 16 during COVID and still managed a part time job

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Honestly mine had so much trouble ( in uni during Covid). Eventually both got part time research associate jobs in uni, but were turned down for all hospitality jobs. Seems to be the case for many.

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 15/03/2026 13:30

Pikachu150 · 15/03/2026 10:48

Don't be ridiculous. They can get plenty of work experience in the holidays.

Show quote history

Much easier to get a job if you've had a job so they will be competing for those summer jobs with people who have work experience behind them.

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:32

CharlotteRumpling · 15/03/2026 13:29

Honestly mine had so much trouble ( in uni during Covid). Eventually both got part time research associate jobs in uni, but were turned down for all hospitality jobs. Seems to be the case for many.

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Didn't they have the jobs pre uni though? As I said my DS was 16 in COVID when he got first job. By the time he got to uni he already had 2 years of work experience

CharlotteRumpling · 15/03/2026 13:37

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:32

Didn't they have the jobs pre uni though? As I said my DS was 16 in COVID when he got first job. By the time he got to uni he already had 2 years of work experience

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Probably the way to do it. One was too busy with tough A levels, one was 16 during the pandemic.
It hasn't stopped them getting grad job offers though.

Thechaseison71 · 15/03/2026 13:39

CharlotteRumpling · 15/03/2026 13:37

Probably the way to do it. One was too busy with tough A levels, one was 16 during the pandemic.
It hasn't stopped them getting grad job offers though.

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One of yours must be very close in age to my DS then who was the 2020 GCSE year

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 18:16

Iloveeverycat · 14/03/2026 15:03

I have never got involved in my adult childrens lives. They can use their spare time to do what they want to do. Why does it affect you so much.

I never had a Saturday job or part time while at school. That didn’t stop me from being employed for 31years of my life.

Let them enjoy themselves, they’ll be working till they drop in the future anyway.

usedtobeaylis · 15/03/2026 18:24

Being dismissive of their down time is a bit off whether they're working or not. They shouldn't need to be doing work or school 7 days a week.

Allonthesametrain · 15/03/2026 18:50

It was the norm to have a pt job, I don't really think much about it and still had loads of free time, especially in the holidays when I worked more.

Most 17 and 18 year olds I know do work, many in bars and have a good social life with colleagues.

If you work one sat night a week still lots of time free, plus holidays. It does give a sense of responsibility and value for money so I don't understand why so many seem against it. Also at that age jobs can be fun 😁

Bufftailed · 15/03/2026 18:52

They should be working yeah. But at this point so close to exams it seems to be the wrong moment to push it.

Doteycat · 15/03/2026 18:52

Entirely possible to learn responsibility and value for money without having a pt job in termtime.

Bufftailed · 15/03/2026 18:58

Meadowfinch · 14/03/2026 17:47

I think they are missing an opportunity. I have a 17yo who has a job as a pool lifeguard on Saturday afternoons. He has saved £5k towards his first year at uni so far, he has 8 months customer service experience, he's made friends with the other lifeguards and it gets him up, clean, tidy, shaved and out.

When his A levels are over he can work as many shifts as he wants all summer, to reduce his student debt.

He seems to have a following of teenage girls in bikinis too.

Edited

Same (not sure about the bikinis). DC 16 finally got a pt job after many, many applications. Loves the job and learning so much about work, dealing with people etc. I gave him a lot of support to get a job as I feel it is so beneficial.

catlover123456789 · 15/03/2026 19:15

The title of this thread made me think they'd been home all weekend on their phones.
Sounds like they are just 18yos enjoying life. You told them they didn't need to get jobs!

riceuten · 15/03/2026 19:21

I think they should do what they want and deal with the consequences. If they want additional stuff, they need to work. If they want to live in genteel poverty, they can stay in bed

HelloDandy · 15/03/2026 19:36

Roxen · 14/03/2026 15:31

My parents-in-law much to the protest of DH and I have them both a hell of a lot of money for their 18th (5 figures). They have saved some of it but they have both got a bit spend happy.

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This sounds like the issue to me.

It's great that they've saved some of it. If mine had the good fortune to be gifted a five figure sum of money at 18 I'd have suggested they save at least half of it and enjoy spending the rest.

And when they do finally enter the world of work they probably won't be able to retire till they're gone 70 the way things are going so they might as well enjoy themselves before they do.

Ileithyia · 15/03/2026 20:05

Do they not need R&R? Down time is important, work/life balance is important.

Glasgowmama88 · 15/03/2026 20:15

I guess you’re the one giving the money for them to buy tickets and paying for dinner ?

if they can waste all those hours ; then there’s no reason why they can’t find part time jobs over the weekend

Hereforthecommentz · 15/03/2026 20:21

I don't think your unreasonable. It was very normal 20 years ago when I was at college for students to have part time jobs. All of my friends did. What has changed in society that teens no longer do this? I would expect my child to be looking for a part time job once she turns 16. If they want to drive a car they need money to run it and going out to the pub costs money. I wouldn't finance that for her. A few hours in a shop is good social connection and earning their own money is a good life lesson.

MibsXX · 15/03/2026 20:22

Hold on, so THIS weekend has been fairly intense socialising, how doe sthat translate into wasting weekends plural?

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