To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

[iamjustgutted]

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

Thank you. It certainly wasn't my intention, I apologised anyway, but I'm baffled. People's supportive responses to this, just underline it.

The best photo of me my mum has is from school when my hair is a complete mess, I'm not looking directly at the camera & I'm missing some teeth. She absolutely hated it when I brought it home but my dad made her buy it. She wanted one where I was all polished, not a hair out of place & very 'posed'. She now says its the best photo she has of me when I was young as it actually captures 'me' & what I was really like!

Ive got a similar one of my 2 oldest DC when we won a photo shoot. The best photo in the collection is when they are both laughing at each other and not looking at the camera. Again, not what I had in mind but its honestly a gorgeous photo of them both. Also had lots of action shots as they wouldn't sit still or smile! The end result was so much better than I had hoped it would be from the shoot though.

If you used a good photographer they should have been able to get some really good action shots that you will love.

No one said that, though. Someone asked whether or not anyone does - possibly as a prompt, as although people around us don’t always think to do things like that (certainly true for me!), we can ask them to.

No, I really don't. It's just a question, isn't it?

I also wasn’t intending to be rude to you @iamjustgutted , my kids are now adults but my favourite photo of our eldest was taken in Greenwich park in the winter and he is running towards me with his arms out and I’m going towards him with my arms out ( he was about 18 months old/ 2) and my husband caught the photo from behind me . It’s a very simple photo but to me it exudes energy and love and is much better imo than any of the professional photos we have . Perhaps going forward you should start trying to take a selfie with one or both of your children on outings or just ad hoc that is what I’ve done with mine ever since camera phones came into being and I still do it now when I go out with either of them .

I reckon you’ll be surprised at some of the photos you do get but I would talk to family about trying to get more natural photos of you and the kids, my DH was rubbish but as the kids have got older they take them more, as others have said some of my favourite photos are the imperfect ones because of the memories. Sorry it didn’t go to plan…

I voted that you were BU, but not to make you feel bad or anything.

Wait until you get the photos. Sometimes the photos we think will be dreadful can turn out to be actually quite good. When you are out and about in future, make sure to ask your husband to take the odd photo of you with the children (the joy of mobile phones!)

We often offer to take photos of families when we are out for walks (we live near three major tourist attractions, that also happen to be really good walking areas) so don’t miss out on that opportunity either if you get the chance.

Don’t dwell on the £80 spent anymore. Enjoy Mother’s Day with your family tomorrow, and get one or two informal photos of yourself and the children if you get the chance.

Sorry this has happened to you.
Maybe ask DH to take some more casual photos of you and the DC.
it might be more relaxing for them. I know, it’s not the same, but with phone cameras these days, you might be surprised.
Plus it will be fun, maybe a day out for you all.
Good luck, and Happy Mother’s Day to you.

This reminds of when my mum bought us a photo shoot session with DH and our two dogs - as we were sat on the floor in a pose, one of my dogs got excited at something (that wasn't even there! It was his imaginary spacebats!) and he leapt up and knocked me onto my back and dragged me across the studio floor on my back as I still had hold of his lead.
I was mortified at the time but I look at the photo from the session (where he finally stopped seeing his spacebats and sat down) and I laugh every time, because that memory comes into my head.

OP - I understand how you feel and I hope it becomes one of your life's funny stories. There's nothing wrong with wanting a photo shoot for Mothers Day and hopefully one day, you'll look back on today and grin.
I hope you have an amazing day tomorrow

Exactly. It was a question, not a statement. Not an unreasonable question, either.

You need to get a sense of humour. My mother was a humourless martyr when I was growing up and now wonders why 2 out of her 3 children have bugger all to do with her.

The description of your son picking up massive logs sounds hilarious. A proper moment and his personality capture much better than some posed bits could do.

I really think they will turn out far better than you thought. SIL asked us to join a photoshoot they were doing and we politely declined. Just not our thing and DH and I would have been far more awkward than the kids and probably ruined it for them. The results are nice, they look like the professional photos they are but still very staged and I don't get the point of it.

My parents spent a small fortune on a series of family photos taken in a professional photographer's studio.

My brother (then aged about 3) was a freaking nightmare, he didn't want to be there & played up throughout the whole session. Having seen the proofs, my parents didn't order any prints. However, about 40 years later, my mother came across the proofs & thought 'actually they weren't so bad after-all, why didn't we buy any prints?' You may feel the same after the passage of time.

However, like PP I agree, best to take lots of informal pictures. My mother became a very good photographer (she did a course) & was always behind her Nikon or Canon cameras at family events. However the best pictures taken of our family were taken by my DCs on instamatic cameras as people behave in a natural manner when a small child points a camera at them.

What?
my mother did three or so between my ages 1-6. One of which with all seven grandchildren!
everyone behaved, even the babies.

Your responses are quite telling OP. You're basically having a tantrum.

You don’t spend day to day moments with your kids?

I’m a single parent so I don’t have many people taking photos of me and my child either. I take them myself. We have so many laughing grinning selfies of us. And each of them is a moment of our lives I remember, rather than a staged photoshoot, where even if you get a good photo you’re now always going to have a bad memory of.

When I saw your responses to some of the posts @iamjustgutted . I assumed you were a widow or a single mother with noone to take photos and therefore excused your somewhat snippy replies. Now I see you have a DH so you do have someone to take photos. Now I just think you are rude and a drama queen.

Yes this!! My DH is utter crap at taking any pictures of me with the kids. So I maybe have a few awkward selfies but it's not the same!

I'm sure they'll come out a lot better than you think they will OP, but YANBU to be a bit put out! I bet it wasn't cheap either!

OP does your husband take pictures of you and the kids?

No, I'm not asking to upset you. I'm genuinely curious because my eldest's dad NEVER did. Eldest is in his 20s now, I have one photo of us all as a family and I look awful in it (and it also cost me!) and less than half a dozen of me and DS1 aged 0-5.

It's rubbish!

When we split I made a huge point of asking random strangers to take photos of me and DS1 on days out and holidays, and even bought a tripod so I could set up some photos of us myself too.

On the other hand ds2's dad took thousands of photos of me with our child and I could have laughed off a failed photo shoot at that point in my life because it wouldn't have felt so huge.

I hope you're okay. It's okay to feel disappointed. 💐 I hope you can come up with a way going forwards where you can have more pictures of you with your kiddies.

Oh I feel your pain. My youngest was 6 when I tried this, and a stubborn madam then (she isn’t now at almost 18). I was so ashamed. I got no photos of me and my 3 kids, none with me and my boys, and one of me and horror child! It actually turned out ok, but I was so sad as I never did get round to doing another shoot. Like you, I had few with me and my kids.

I agree with this.

I suspect you still have a lot of unresolved trauma associated with the loss of your mum when you were so young. You might want to talk this through with a counsellor.

Thanks all. I do feel better about it now but it was a bit raw at the time, you know?

Not sure who these posed photos were for, but as a Nan, I’d sooner have a happy spontaneous photo.

I always grump that if I went missing no-one would have a photo of me to use for the news.

I think you've taken a pretty unfair bashing from some posters tbh.
It's fine to be upset and feel raw when something you really wanted didn't work out.
I really hope you have a great day tomorrow x