To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

[iamjustgutted]

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

I remember being really upset because ds threw one of his first shoes out of the buggy and we couldn’t find it. For his big sister I had kept the first shoes in a box and it was really nice looking back on them as she grew.

But actually ds’s “first shoe” is a better memory than DD’s first shoes. Because it reminds me every time of what ds was like as a baby. He was a total Ninja! Shoes and socks were taken off constantly with the most amazing agility. And everything got thrown out of the buggy!

It took about a decade for me to realise but I got there.

Very few “perfect moments” are actually perfect in real life with small children. And, at the time, it was hard when the (ridiculously expensive) visit to Santa ended in tears or she spilt spaghetti bolognaise down her school uniform 5 minutes before the school photo was taken. Or when ds refused to have a photo taken at all with his new baby cousin. (The closest we got was one of dd holding him and ds with his back to them both looking really cross!) But now, when they are teenagers I like those imperfect moments as I have forgotten so much of who my kids were when they were little.

As I say though - it takes a decade! 😂

There was absolutely nothing patronising about that post.

Yes it's a bit shit when things don't go to plan, but they are your kids so surely you knew what to expect from them?

I can understand being upset about this. I have always been the one to take photos - to the point where there are relatively few of me with my children. I arranged a couple of family photoshoots when they were small for this reason.

I have loads of photos of my kids together but hardly any with me. I used to take the photo. I don't really like having my photo taken either so that doesn't help. I don't even think I have one photo of me holding my youngest. I wish I did.

Thank you 🙏. I've re-read it, and can't see the problem, it was well intentioned and certainly no worse than most posts on here.
I apologised anyway.

I think the disappointment is making you feel worse. You wanted a lovely day, you did not get a lovely day. However, the pictures will likely (if the photographer is a good one) be a lot better than you are expecting. You were focussed on the bad stuff on the day, but the photographer was on the outside and will have seen different aspects that you were unaware of.

My XH would NEVER take impromptu shots of the kids. If I asked him to take a picture, he'd want them all in their best clothes, washed and brushed and posed to within an inch of their lives (and you can guess how well THAT went down with them). So there aren't many pictures of me with my children. But my favourite picture of them all is when they were all sitting in the garden looking at something going on in the hedge (cat chasing something I think) and the shot is of the backs of their heads, all sitting together conspiratorially. So it's not even of their faces - but it shows the atmosphere and also the fact that they did occasionally all get on!

What??? I hope the fact you're upset is making you sound ruder than you usually are @iamjustgutted...

I am sorry. It’s disappointing when you get excited about something and it goes wrong. Maybe do it in a couple of years again when the kids are more biddable. Wishing you a good Mother’s Day.X

wait till you see the pictures, they might be ok

My MiL bought us a family photoshoot with our wedding photographer who is amazing at really natural pictures. We went to a local woodland in the autumn sunshine so it should have been lovely but my youngest put on a deliberate scowl face the whole time and my eldest stepped in dog 💩 as soon as we got there. It was not idyllic!

We still managed to get a few nice pictures though, I hope you do too, you may be surprised at how they turned out.

Hugs OP, as you say you lost your own Mum when you were young so I'm guessing Mother's Day is an emotional time for you, and you were trying to do something nice and it went a bit wrong, so it's completely understandable that you feel upset. It's not totally about the photoshoot itself (I'm guessing) but it's hard work being a mum to little kids, and it sounds to me like you need some looking after yourself at a sad time. If there's noone to look after you right now then try and do something that you know makes you feel better, even if all you can realistically manage is a walk or a TV cuddle with said kids. Just be kind to yourself. I get you xx

OP, that sounds quite funny and you may end up with some memorable, amusing shots. The other bigger issue is why you have no photos of yourself. You need to get people around you to take photos at every opportunity. Even if you had the perfect shoot today, this is just one day in their lives. You want other memories of the rest of the years ahead. So focus your energy on ensuring that those around you take photos of you with the children in it. And hopefully you’ll get some good funny shots from today as a bonus.

Thank you!

Agree with this - have lots of pics, but none with me in them either. At the risk of sounding maudlin, so many of my adult friends have lost their mums in recent years and are heartbroken to find that, when they sort their things there are no pics of them with their mums as children. It is always the mums taking the photos.

So I can totally understand the desire to have a picture with your kids, @iamjustgutted but perhaps you could ask your DH to take some this weekend while the sun is shining?

Don’t panic yet OP until you’ve seen the photos. Took my DGS to an outdoor photo shoot and it sounds similar to your experience! He was grumpy and throwing things and I didn’t hold out much hope! But there were some absolute beauties - she caught him the second before he threw a stick and it looked great!

I absolutely hear you. Photos are all we have of some relatives (my mum & dad) perhaps you could see if you can go out with a friend and take some pics of each other? I hope you got some good ones x

You wanted an soft focus image of your children

You got their reality in all their mucky real life glory. Enjoy the photos and chuckle about it

How old are your children?

I'm with you OP.
DH never bothered to take photos of me with the kids. There are hundreds of him with the kids. Even though I reminded him. He just couldn't be bothered.
We had a photo shoot. Luckily the older ones were great. The baby was grumpy. Im glad I have some nice ones.

If the photos are not good (hopefully a good photographer will have managed to capture at least some nice ones) I'd book another shoot.
And get into the habit of taking selfies with the kids.

I hope you get some good ones OP. We did an expensive photoshoot when my boys were 3 and 9 months. Lord knows what we were thinking. The 9 month old commando crawled round the studio at top speed and the 3 year old threw Gordon from Thomas the Tank Engine down the photographer’s loo. My main memory of the day is fishing Gordon out of the bog. 😕

My boys are 20 and 17 now and we have the most beautiful photo from that day of DS2 shoving his fingers in DS1’s mouth and them beaming at each other. It still hangs over our fireplace. Not quite what I was expecting but it captures them at their loopy best.

Gordon was promptly thrown away.

Ahhh OP yanbu. But in 10/20 years time when DS is a Big Serious teen/man those enormous logs might make you smile seeing the little log loving boy he was.

I have a staged childhood pic of my GPs' GC, we all look nice but I look at one of my cousins and always remember the ball just out of shot and the fact she kept wailing and wiggling, it always makes me smile when I see it.

I'm kind of baffled by some of your responses, @iamjustgutted . I don't see anyone trying to rub salt in the wound for you?

It's understandable to be upset about a wasted £80 though. Maybe you could tell DH that you want him to make more of an effort to take photos of you with your children?

So sorry @iamjustgutted .
I'd be gutted too.
Our ds wouldn’t stand still for a photo until I told him to hold his favourite teddy as we wanted a photo of the teddy.
Worked a charm. He’s 40 now and we laugh at how many photos have teddy in when he was little.

I agree, there was nothing patronising in the post. OP came across as incredibly touchy in her reply to you.

You don’t think saying ‘no one takes impromptu photos of you and the children’ was?

How old are they? Was their behaviour rare behaviour?