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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

336 replies

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 12:33

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

OP posts:
iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 13:36

I’ll be amazed - dd wouldn’t even face her and just clung to DH. Ds just ran round yelling and picking up sticks and fucking massive logs have featured in every single photo. Not what I had in mind!

OP posts:
thetinsoldier · 14/03/2026 13:40

I’m really sorry that it didn’t go as planned, op.

I’d tell your h that you’d really like him to focus on taking photos of you, not necessarily posed ones, but ones of you with the Dc, until you feel you have some nice pics. if this is importantly to you, keep removing him to take photos.

PatriciaRocks · 14/03/2026 13:41

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 13:22

That’s what I’m genuinely worried about. Virtually none of me and the kids and the ones that there are are posed as I have to ask and look so forced.

I lost my own mum young and I just feel like when I’m gone they’ll have nothing.

They won't have nothing. They will have happy and loving memories of you ❤️.

YellowFruitBowl · 14/03/2026 13:41

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 13:04

No.

Thanks; I wish I hadn’t posted now. I’m struggling to see the humour tbh, in fact I just feel like crying. I really, really just wanted some nice photos of me and my children, that doesn’t mean my life is staged.

It was outside.

No one is grudging your wish to have some nice photos, but small children don’t get the memo about how they can behave like maniacs every other moment of the day, but not for this ten minutes when something important is happening. Expecting otherwise is unrealistic.

DH’s niece, who was about 3.5 or 4, was a flower girl at DH’s other sister’s wedding. Asked if she wanted to do it, would she be ok walking up the aisle holding her older cousin’s hand in front of Auntie K? Yes, v enthusiastic, all excited, adored the fuss about her dress, was a total pro at the rehearsal, it was in their local church she went to every week, so familiar, loved getting ready with the grown-up bridesmaids and her mum, hair done in a curly updo with fresh orchids (!) by the bride’s hairdresser on the day etc. Except she suddenly, halfway up the aisle, started roaring crying, threw down her basket of flowers, ran back down the aisle pulling the flowers out of her hair, banged straight into the bride and got snot on the front of her wedding dress, refused to come back inside and had to be consoled in the churchyard, and appears in all the photos scarlet, mutinous-looking and teary, or hiding her face.

This was in the early days of wedding videos so it’s all on there, including her tantrum in the churchyard which is quite audible through a shut door during the vows.😀

My point is that kids don’t get the memo about behaving well for just a few minutes for an adult priority.

kimberleycowgirl · 14/03/2026 13:41

It’s the mother’s curse to be forever the one taking the pictures, not in them 😂

I get it- I have been in your shoes and it sucks. I know it’s frustrating right now but all these other posters are right - my absolute favourite photos now are the ones where I remember what an absolute shit show was going on behind the scenes - and that’s because it gets better, OP I swear.

And ignore these grumpy buggers- Mother’s Day photos sound like a lovely idea. I personally think families should get professional photos regularly or as you said there’s never any good ones of you with the kids to look back on!!

though as a side note, now I always ask the photographer to also make sure they get a couple with me and DH/ the dog with no kids allowed 😂

PatriciaRocks · 14/03/2026 13:42

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 13:36

I’ll be amazed - dd wouldn’t even face her and just clung to DH. Ds just ran round yelling and picking up sticks and fucking massive logs have featured in every single photo. Not what I had in mind!

Could your DH take a picture of you and the children? Perhaps at home where they're all a bit more relaxed?.

MrsHaroldWilson · 14/03/2026 13:44

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 13:36

I’ll be amazed - dd wouldn’t even face her and just clung to DH. Ds just ran round yelling and picking up sticks and fucking massive logs have featured in every single photo. Not what I had in mind!

Please do update us when you get the proofs through - crossing my fingers there will be some you like!

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 14/03/2026 13:45

Springisspringingnow · 14/03/2026 12:49

I didn't even know Mother's Day photo shoots was a ' a thing". Although I shouldn't be surprised as some people's whole lives seem to be photo shoots for some reason or other.
Surely Mother's Day is abput your children giving you a card and possibly a small gift. And if they are too young to organise that themselves then the other parent or some one organises it for them?
Honestly OP I woukd chalk this down to experience and stick to what Mother's Day is meant to be about another year

Absolutely this, there are fat too many unrealistic expectations these days.

Nooooppppeeee · 14/03/2026 13:46

OP I do understand your disappointment but in years to come you will laugh at the pics . My lovely Mum had pics of me at a family wedding and I just scowled for every pic .

Happyjoe · 14/03/2026 13:50

In a few years when you are given brekkie in bed by your kids on mum's day morning, you'll remember today and well, laugh. Hopefully!

WonderingWanda · 14/03/2026 13:50

Ah, that sounds frustrating and I can see why you are upset but I promise you that feeling will pass and you will probably love the photo's one day. I saw an old photo of dd the other day, she looked so tiny and cute.....Then I remembered how absolutely exhausting she was being that day. It was blisteringly hot and she was insisting on blowing bubbles but tipping the bubble mixture all over herself and then throwing epic tantrums because it wasn't working. I was tired, mega grumpy, too hot and covered in bubble mixture with zero patience for it. I member my Mum telling me to relax and I couldn't and then got mad at her too. I also felt like because the whole outing was ruined. Sometimes parenting is shit in the moment. Love the photo now though! Sending you some 💐

PatriciaRocks · 14/03/2026 13:52

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 14/03/2026 13:45

Absolutely this, there are fat too many unrealistic expectations these days.

Yes, I agree. We never had a photoshoot, and at one point ours wouldn't even be in any pictures at all! They're adults now, and honestly, it's fine.
Seriously. You're feeling upset, OP but listen to the voices of experience on here!

saveforthat · 14/03/2026 13:55

I'm sure there will be some good ones. I have just watched a dvd made from an old cine camera of my friends son (now 32) in his nursery nativity play. All the little tots came out confidently singing and he went and hid behind a fake tree. The whole film is him behind the tree occasionally peeking out, it was hilarious.

ArtAngel · 14/03/2026 13:56

Sorry it all went pear shaped OP.

And no wonder you are upset in the midst of Mothers Day emotion and thinking of losing your own Mum young.

I think you need to speak with your DH about your upset about no pics and your own Mum etc. Or when you are out with a friend ask for some nice pics of you and your kids.

Keep the pictures to show them once they are adults what absolute little beasts they were - and guilt trip them into spending half their savings on a wonderful Mother's Day Treat for you.

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 14:00

PatriciaRocks · 14/03/2026 13:52

Yes, I agree. We never had a photoshoot, and at one point ours wouldn't even be in any pictures at all! They're adults now, and honestly, it's fine.
Seriously. You're feeling upset, OP but listen to the voices of experience on here!

Edited

I am actually taken aback you think that eas OK to post. How patronising.

OP posts:
PatriciaRocks · 14/03/2026 14:01

iamjustgutted · 14/03/2026 14:00

I am actually taken aback you think that eas OK to post. How patronising.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. That was genuinely not my intention. I was trying to help you.
Have a look at my other posts for context.
Obviously I'm not helping, so I'll leave now.
Good luck.

Myskyscolour · 14/03/2026 14:02

Oh dear, I have been there.
In my case, 2yo DC had a nosebleed at the beginning of the shoot, blood everywhere, and while everybody was focussing on them, their sibling managed to fall off the chair they were sat on.
My advice is to take lots of selfies with them and also to explicitly ask your OH to take pictures of you and the kids.

UnicornPug · 14/03/2026 14:04

I completely get it. This is something you wanted to do, that meant a lot to you and it was ruined. It’s absolutely ok to be upset and disappointed by that.

My kids are older now but I still remember the Christmas Eve breakfast with Santa that I booked at hideous expense and they were so awfully behaved that I cried. It’s shit when something you’re excited about and looking forward to goes badly. I hope your day improves and happy Mother’s Day for tomorrow!

CocoPlum · 14/03/2026 14:07

Have you had the photos yet? I felt like that after a family photo shoot when DC were young. I had to sit on the floor BFing DC2 at one point, and DC1 was grumpy and not cooperative. I nearly cried afterwards. But when they arrived we still got some really lovely photos.

MermaidofRye · 14/03/2026 14:07

I can see why you are upset. You were looking forward to it for all sorts of reasons and instead had a miserable and disappointing time.

Try not to let it eat away at you because it will end up taking up more headspace and time than it deserves.

You can try again next year or maybe book in a Christmas photoshoot: at least next time, you will have a better idea of what might go wrong and to cope with it.

Your children are young and you can still have other opportunities for photo shoots, I know it's expensive but you can start a saving pot for it.

Put this miserable experience behind you, look on it as a dry run, a rehearsal for the next one which will be better.

JackA · 14/03/2026 14:09

I understand OP, I am sentimental and love looking back at old photos.

We had some family photos taken by a photographer when DC were small (taken in a nearby park rather than a studio setting) and it felt like an absolute shit show but the photos actually turned out great. And I look back on them now and they really capture that time (and the chaos!).

honeylulu · 14/03/2026 14:11

Have you seen the photos yet? You might be pleasantly surprised. We had a photo shoot done (it was one of those "free" ones where you get to choose one small free print) and it was awful. Our toddler didn't understand and kept crying and running off and we were tense and anxious. We said on the way home we would be amazed if there was a single good photo to choose. But when we actually saw the selection a couple of weeks later they were amazing and we ended up blowing a shameful amount of money buying several large prints.

HawkersWest · 14/03/2026 14:11

Selfies are your friend! Or ask your DH to take a couple of shots next time you're out. You don't need a professional photoshoot when practically everyone has a camera in their hand.

ShredderQueen · 14/03/2026 14:11

We did photo shoots. The photo of DS carrying a big stck log was one of my favourite shots as it captured his view to every walk 😀

A good photographer will grab the moment your DD turned her head and should be able to turn it into something special.

Wait till you get the results but I hear you.

And remember, they will 100% be better than school photos!

MrsHaroldWilson · 14/03/2026 14:14

My dad was the photographer when I was growing up (70s/80s) - he took it quite seriously, he had an SLR camera - but the consequence was there are hardly any photos of him in our childhood. We had some family friends we saw once a year and they always took a polaroid of us in a group and gave it to us; other than that there are some 'family groups' from when I got given a little camera for my 6th birthday, mostly with the top of my dad's head cut off or completely blurred 😄. It is a problem when one member of the family assumes the mantle of photographer.

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