The hatred and venom on here is too much

[femaleofsubstance]

This site used to be light relief anf fun. The odd bitchy thread but on the most part was fun to read and made me smile.

It's become so emotionally toxic and down right nasty. Thead after thread of micro aggresion.
Too much for me, i feel so drained after just 15 mins.
Just why?

Exactly, and asking for help on MN is quite brave knowing they'll get piled upon.

This is a particularly petty and needless example, but sometimes there are posts where you have to question if the user was actually looking at what they were typing or just rolled their face across the keyboard.

I am a pedant, and really poor grammar makes my teeth itch because I view it as a lack of courtesy and consideration for people trying to read it. This is an English language site, so it's only courteous to post in relatively legible English. Fair enough when it isn't your first language, errors are totally understandable, but then there are things like spell-checkers and translation programs you can run your post through.

It's when you see barely intelligible, lazy, error-strewn posts by people who clearly are native English speakers that irritates me. We are immersed in the language, so there is really no excuse for being barely capable of communicating in it, and it does just come across as lazy and contemptuous when you see nonsense like "should of had to of" in every second line and "lol" everywhere.

People should be pulled up for it and criticised, otherwise we'll eventually lose the ability to communicate due to nobody being able to decipher anyone else's lazy drivel.

Of this isn't sarcasm: mn may not be for you

HTH

Nope.

"Venom" and "hatred" are very strong. And it became clear that i was correct (to the point one poster edited her post when she realised that she was 100% on the wrong about the OP)

Using overly strong words rather than vlear irony or hyperbole is difficult when so many pp understand what words mean.

Are some threads binfires? For sure. Report buttons exist.

Op wasn’t asking for her. She just wanted to tell us that we’re full of hated and venom. She should expect push back on that.

I'm a bit of a pedant too and agree with a lot of what you say but, as a retired teacher, the only time I would actually mention it is when the poster claims to work in a school and really should know not to use 'should of' and ought to know the difference between there, their and they're.

Scroll past the saddos who get their kicks by dissing posters unnecessarily and appreciate the majority of interesting, amusing and informative posts by normal people who don't feel the need to do that.

I actually don’t mind robust responses when I start a thread asking for advice about a life situation. I know I’ll get honest answers on here and value that. So there is a place for plain speaking, as long as it’s well meaning and not simply giving the OP a kicking for the sake of it.

You're not wrong. I've been here, on and off, for easily 22 years. Certainly, the way I use it has changed. I remember getting loads of support, and practical help, when I had a bad 20 week scan, and after an earlier mc.

I wouldn't ask for that sort of help here now. But it is of course so much bigger, so you dont get to recognise names and build a sense of community. Nowadays I sort of flick through it like I would a magazine, only reading threads that really interest me, and usually abandoning them once the tedious bitching or the faux 'confusion' starts.

I can’t hack it here quite a lot of the time, it’s brutal.

I read the OP, decide if I’m interested, then just read OPs posts usually. I scan everyone else’s but don’t really read them.

Very occasionally I’ll see a thread where I want to read everything, like ‘best book you ever read’ or that type of thing.

Well done on posting the most MN of all posts! 👏 The classic HTH helps at the end was a nice touch.

Unless of course you were being sarcastic??

Yes and then abandoning them. Sort of throw a hand grenade into the crowd and scarper.

maybe that's the modern day equivalent of trolling....

There’s always been a mixture of wit and ridiculousness seasoned with a touch of venom. I think my first read here was a thread questioning the size of a teenager’s packed lunch. It had some pretty sharp responses. Probably about 15 years ago.

The OP sets the tone for the whole thread.

a thread that starts out "my DP is wonderful, funny, clever, appendage of gold, dad of the year" etc then the big reveal...he beats me, spends his wages down the pub every Friday and goes off on lads weekends leaving me to look after our 6 children under 5, 4 of which aren't mine" is just never going to end well.

My favourite thing about MN is that you get both the sharp sarky bracing replies, which are usually funny, and probably some helpful comfortable kind ones that are useful.

Nothing is going to end well for that poster.

There seems to be a lot of men being twats on here now.

Maybe it's the sex topic that attracts them.

I've noticed that there are a lot of people who will nit pick and goad. I figure they are just people who feel a bit powerless in their own life, so try to feel a bit more powerful on here. Says more about them than anything. Ignore it.

DH and I were talking earlier about sexism. I experienced it, and his response was "Gosh, I would have loved being chatted up publicly." Men are differently wired.

I find many posts lack empathy or imagination. It is possible to understand another person's point of view without agreeing with it. It is also possible to state an opposing view politely.

It is the pointless nasty comments that get me. Also repeating by poster after poster of one "weakness" in the OP. Tiresome and relevant after the first couple of mentions.

And the need to be superior. Petty nitpicking seems to be a favoured way. See the first post on this thread. Did it add anything? No.

Men are privileged from birth. They never ever experience the dreadful feeling of being unsafe, so they find it very difficult to empathise with women.

Never ever ever mention if a child is ND on Mumsnet.

If you write "my nephew is autistic and he punched me, my husband, my children, my newborn and my hamster in the face one by one, stole every penny out of my bank account, set fire to our house, pissed in my cereal, shit on my pillow, pushed my Nan's wheelchair off a cliff, then danced on her grave laughing hysterically whilst eating a whole Terry's chocolate orange like an apple and I am just struggling to be around him a little bit"

You'll get "omg you literally know NOTHING about ND children, educate yourself, I am so sick of people who don't even try to understand, you disgust me"

This is another attitude that’s really annoying on here. All women as some sort of untouchable, flawless creatures who can do no wrong. Plus they don’t ever have to be kind or considerate to others, it’s totally fine for them to be completely self-absorbed and arrogant about how good looking they are, because it’s all about “loving yourself”. They never tell lies, and are completely incapable of abusing a man. It’s such annoying bollocks. Not posting unnecessarily nasty & hurtful things to a stranger on the internet, who is often in a vulnerable place, is not women “doing as their expected” or being too kind! It’s just not being a dick

Yeah and the 'abelist' slur as well

You have captured it perfectly though.

I always attribute behaviour like this to poor verbal reasoning skills. The “clarifying” questions often don’t ask for genuinely useful and relevant information, and the level of projection is impressive. Ad hominems and thought stopping cliches abound (poor argumentative / reasoning skills again).

OPs often don’t give a clear idea of what they are asking, or are asking for something irrelevant to what they want - showing there is an issue but they cannot clarify it themselves and proceed to quarrel heartily with those who most successfully support their confusion.

In its defence, however ‘mean girls’ the tone, when someone posted about their DC drinking unknown quantities of Calpol the advice was exactly what it should be, which is Medical Advice and tests NOW.