Things you secretly know

[Daygloboo]

Just a general lighthearted one. Not aibu. Tell us something surprising, shocking, gripping or funny about someone you know personally , or an experience you had , or a famous person. Without giving anything away.
I've said this one before but....I know a very very well loved tv actor who is absolutely vile IRL. Im not going to out him but your jaw would drop if you knew..
Also I once lived in a place where a woman and her husband were upstanding members of the community, prominant locally, liked being respected, true blue types. They loved pronouncing on who was right and who was wrong in all situations. One day she told me conspiratorially and with great glee that they thought they'd been shafted financially by a local business bloke, so one night they put sugar in his petrol tank and slashed two of his tyres. I was young at the time and completely shocked.
Finally, in the C of E church in my old village where I grew up there were a bunch of smiley 'upstanding 'regular churchgoers who didnt like the new , slightly happy clappy vicar . He waa modern, and kind and seemed to care about the poorer people in the village . Rather like you'd imagine Jesus might have done. So the nice upatanding churchgoing regulars orchestrated a smear campaign against him and didn't stop until they'd made sure the vicar had had a breakdown and hadcto keave his post. It was.such a lovely, kindly village .🤣

Absolutely and rightly so. The systems can catch out via the audit trail who has ever accessed records and people have been sacked for this.

If the NHS does not have this, then it is not protecting the public's right to privacy and inexcusably behind the times.

That poor vicar. Another that didn’t find it funny. How heartbreaking for him to be forced to a breakdown.

Something very similar happened in a church in the south east. Their new vicar was gay (this was about 20 years ago) and some in the congregation sent him threatening hate mail. He had a breakdown.

No smilies here....

So far this thread tells me little about the supposed people who are hiding secrets — what it does tell me is that some people who shouldn’t have have breached confidentiality or looked at private health or financial records have done so.

I am divorcing my emotionally abusive ex. He’s being really horrible, including manipulating people. He’s turned mutual friends against me (because I don’t talk to them about what really went on).

But I know that at least three of them can see through his mask. One has called him a cu#t. Another said he is ‘gaslighting’ them. Another said he is ‘as mad as a box of frogs.’ I listen and learn but I don’t engage in a ‘tit first tat’ exchange of information that proves he is indeed, all three of those things.

I also know something about him that would destroy his reputation locally. It could wreck his career. It’s a really shameful secret of his. I could, but won’t, tell one person ‘in confidence’ - who I know would share it widely - and his life would be ruined. I love having that nuclear bomb in my back pocket but choosing peace over chaos and nastiness. Having it, but not using it, makes me feel stronger and take a ‘let him’ stance as he trashes my reputation. I know the truth. I see him. And others are starting to see him too.

The irony is, in my experience, the older church goers who profess to be the ‘biggest’ Christian’s are the ones least likely to have tolerated someone like Jesus. Don’t get me started on anyone who is different to them and genuinely needs kindness, friendship and help 🙄

I know a huge amount of secrets but people tell me things because they know I won't tell a soul (except my dog). Sometimes I do think 'please don't tell me' and sometimes I really have to push them to tell someone else (eg when something needs action). But I do love knowing!

My friend is a senior nurse and she was covering a colleague’s appointment but it hadn’t been registered and she was called out for looking at the patients record. Obviously she could explain why and everything was ok, I was very impressed That our private details are so well looked after.

I know that a very famous actor (A list I would say) groomed and has a relationship with a girl in her mid teens. He was in his late 30s / early 40s at the time I believe. I don't think she was the only one.

He didn't tell his son. He rang his dad one evening whilst he was out of the room and the son picked up (innocently) and clocked. He only told us, years later. And this is the first time I've ever mentioned it.

And I've requested that it be deleted so that the person is not identified.

If we'd have all been gossiping about it, you would have all heard about it before this morning on Mumsnet, wouldn't you?

I read it that the laughing face was an ironic one, immediately following the ‘it was such a kindly village…’ As in laughing ironically at the awful people that did this to him, and not laughing at him.

edit to add -
not singling out @MinimumRageas I know others have commented on this too (I don’t know how to copy text, so always quote)

We were the only people he told actually. yeah course you were. You and all the other only people he told.

I know that my close family member had her dc removed from her care due to her giving them strong pain killers prescribed to her. All so she could get stoned in peace. SS told me as I was taking her dc in when they were removed.

she’s told everyone that they’ve been removed due to her mental health.

Did nobody think that someone having sex with underage girls needed reporting?!

I have 5 half siblings blissfully unaware of my existence. I know their names and they all live in the same area, a small rural town. About 3 hours away. I could drive there, wander around and chat to a few locals and blow their lives apart. But I won't.

People also tell me secrets. Maybe they have noticed that I don't participate in gossip sessions. I don't like to listen to gossip about people I know, and I don't care about celebrity gossip. I only like gossip if it is a funny story or if it lets me know that someone needs help or extra consideration.

Ii do like Mumsnet because it is anonymous and names are rarely mentioned. So it becomes stories you can learn from and you can vent about someone without harming or humiliating them.

Rather than spilling actual secrets which probably won't be that interesting if you don't know the person at all, these are social patterns that I believe are true but nobody wants to talk about. There are obviously exceptions to each example but we're talking about broad trends:

1. Pedophiles target unattractive, male-centred women with children. These are single mothers who aren't physically attractive by society's standards but miraculously have a male partner all the time. They are deeply insecure about themselves so they seek validation by wanting male attention. And they always seem to find new partners quite easily. These are men who specifically know how to manipulate vulnerable mothers to gain access to their children. Statistically, the highest prevalence of CSA always happen to children forced to live in the same home as an unrelated male, usually stepfather.

2. Divorce rarely makes children happier because of the physical disruption to their lives. Especially if they have to split their time between two homes whilst attending school full-time, and dealing with all the logistics and communication breakdowns in between. They are more likely to experience neglect and poor food (takeouts, pizza, junk) while at the father's place and the mother is not around anymore to buffer this. The children suffer at the expense of the mum enjoying her newfound free time, and it's not really a magical arrangement that improves everyone's lives at the same time. Children thrive better on routine and predictability than being physically forced to spend time with different people in a chaotic way.

3. Schools don't care about SEN children because they don't contribute to a capitalist society when they're older. The government doesn't allocate funds out of the goodness of their heart, but they're trying to mitigate the costs that these adults may generate later on (social care, NHS, crime etc). Their ideal scenario is for the parents to do as much as possible and cover all the costs and labour within the family. So this is why many are pushed into homeschooling because the parents have to end up taking responsibility for the employability of their children as well.

That a prominent MP refused to be considered for caring for a grandchild which then ended up being adopted whilst at the same time publicly spouting how awful social services were.

Your sister SHOULD be sacked.

I know you think you made this up, but it's actually true and you've just blocked out the memory. I, however, will never forget that rendition of 'The Lady in Red' and how it brought the whole pavillion to tears.

On a lighter note - I knew when my Fiancé was going to propose to me. He didn't know I knew and I had to act completely surprised. I wouldn't tell him as it would upset him, he had put so much effort into it. I was still blown away 😍

I know someone who financially abused a vulnerable person then lied to the police, lied to their own family and lied to an entire community. And got away with it. All the evidence was on the deceased persons mobile phone, but because their family didn’t report it the police decided it wasn’t in the public interest to pursue. I still secretly seethe over it. I still think the deceased person deserves justice.

Haha he came to my mind too!

Your sister should be disciplined and sacked for her massive breach of NHS and data protection / confidentiality laws.

I know that my sister, when pissed, wrote something very nasty and untrue about me on social media. She deleted it when sober thinking I hadn't seen it.

I have the screenshots and I am not afraid to use them when the time is right.😏