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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband not coming home early

183 replies

OneTwinklyBird · 11/03/2026 13:38

So my husband is away for work and has 2 of our 5 children with him (at his sisters house). It's about a 5 hour drive.

I had surgery on my leg 2 weeks ago and it has opened up and is oozing.

I sent a photo to my friend who is a nurse and she said it needs looking at ASAP.

we are new to this area and know no one so I have no one to watch the other 3 kids.

i called husband yesterday at 5 to ask him to come back so I could go get it checked and sent him a photo. He agreed it looked bad and said he would come home. I pushed for when and he said well can't be tonight because it's too late and the kids are getting ready for bed. Will leave tomorrow. I asked what time tomorrow and he said by the time I'm up and all sorted it will be at least 12. He's rubbish with time so this means at least 1. As it's such a long drive he always stops so wouldn't be back here until 6/7. He said he could take me to hospital then but he thinks they'll need to do something to it and so he'll take the kids home. I asked how i would get home and he said they won't make you leave Mat 10pm at night, obviously the hospital will as they don't necessarily have beds. He was just like oh well you'll have to figure it out.

i have a check up Friday anyway and it is much quicker and easier to see a doctor from this appointment so I said if I'm not going until Thursday anyway it may as well wait until Friday. He was happy with this as it meant he could finish his work Wednesday as originally planned.

i called him this morning at 9 and he was asleep called me back when he got up at 11. He's now called me and is catching up with a friend. I asked why he couldn't have come back and he said we agreed Friday was more sensible.

AIBU to feel like an afterthought and that he doesn't care about my health at all?

OP posts:
Legolaslady · 15/03/2026 14:17

What has your husband said about it all?

OneTwinklyBird · 15/03/2026 14:24

i am almost ashamed to say, particularly given the harshness of some responses on here

suffice to say he does not see an issue and no one has wished me a happy Mother's Day 😞

OP posts:
Allseeingallknowing · 15/03/2026 14:29

OneTwinklyBird · 15/03/2026 14:24

i am almost ashamed to say, particularly given the harshness of some responses on here

suffice to say he does not see an issue and no one has wished me a happy Mother's Day 😞

Sorry, Op. How mean of your husband, and no Happy Mother’s Day from 5 children! So hurtful-I feel for you.

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/03/2026 15:19

He sees no issue?

What if it were a kid who had that wound breaking down, infection setting in... does he think he'd have no issue in delaying treatment for DAYS then?

Ask him if he thinks SS's would have no issue with delaying urgent treatment in that situation?

If he'd take action for a kid, and expect SS's to have an issue with someone delaying that action for a kid, why on EARTH does he think its ok for you?

Velvetgoldmine · 15/03/2026 15:25

I have been worrying about you. I hope you heal quickly. You have been through something really quite horrific. I would have panicked if that had happened to me.

BlueMum16 · 15/03/2026 16:20

OneTwinklyBird · 15/03/2026 14:24

i am almost ashamed to say, particularly given the harshness of some responses on here

suffice to say he does not see an issue and no one has wished me a happy Mother's Day 😞

I'm pleased you are home.

Please sit and rest and make sure they all look after you.

Sorry to read that between him and many children they have failed to acknowledge today. You need to address this when you are feeling stronger so they know how hurtful they've been.

Tableforjoan · 15/03/2026 16:21

Glad you are home sorry that he is still being a prick.

Legolaslady · 16/03/2026 08:37

Oh my god. Just show
him this thread!!

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