Husband not coming home early

[OneTwinklyBird]

So my husband is away for work and has 2 of our 5 children with him (at his sisters house). It's about a 5 hour drive.

I had surgery on my leg 2 weeks ago and it has opened up and is oozing.

I sent a photo to my friend who is a nurse and she said it needs looking at ASAP.

we are new to this area and know no one so I have no one to watch the other 3 kids.

i called husband yesterday at 5 to ask him to come back so I could go get it checked and sent him a photo. He agreed it looked bad and said he would come home. I pushed for when and he said well can't be tonight because it's too late and the kids are getting ready for bed. Will leave tomorrow. I asked what time tomorrow and he said by the time I'm up and all sorted it will be at least 12. He's rubbish with time so this means at least 1. As it's such a long drive he always stops so wouldn't be back here until 6/7. He said he could take me to hospital then but he thinks they'll need to do something to it and so he'll take the kids home. I asked how i would get home and he said they won't make you leave Mat 10pm at night, obviously the hospital will as they don't necessarily have beds. He was just like oh well you'll have to figure it out.

i have a check up Friday anyway and it is much quicker and easier to see a doctor from this appointment so I said if I'm not going until Thursday anyway it may as well wait until Friday. He was happy with this as it meant he could finish his work Wednesday as originally planned.

i called him this morning at 9 and he was asleep called me back when he got up at 11. He's now called me and is catching up with a friend. I asked why he couldn't have come back and he said we agreed Friday was more sensible.

AIBU to feel like an afterthought and that he doesn't care about my health at all?

Things have changed, the wound is rapidly deteriorating , and she could end up with sepsis! The OP herself has said her husband’s attitude sounds uncaring.

So if the wound is rapidly deteriorating, why isn't she calling a taxi or asking a neighbour to take her to the hospital?

HE chose?

I presume he didn’t hold the OP hostage to impregnate her five times and move her somewhere rural against her will?!

These are joint decisions and if you are going have large numbers of children, live rurally and not drive, you probably will have to fork out on taxis and childcare.

You need to get your leg looked at now. It can’t wait for your husband to make a long drive even if he was leaving now.

I do think you set him up here in that you said you may as well wait for Friday then, but clearly expected him to still come home, but that’s an aside - your leg needs seeing now. He’s not around.

The DH only said she would have to “figure it out” with regards to her leaving the hospital, after him driving 5 hours home to get her and then dropping her to the hospital late into the evening.
Surely it’s the only option though? He obviously can’t pack 5 kids back into the car during the night to collect OP from the hospital when she could organise a taxi.

If she rings the GP what will he do? Not much! Better to ring 111. She still has the problem of the three children. I feel some posters are being hard on the OP who must be worried sick, and feeling unwell.

He has two kids, she has three!

Then she needs to ring NHS direct for advise or phone a taxi!

I don't really have much sympathy for people who choose to move to isolated, rural areas when they don't drive and have 5 children under 10, and then act helpless when they realise how hard it is, no. It's a very very silly thing to do.

If OP is in pain and struggling then she needs to call a taxi, take her children with her and go to the hospital. There's no other option as her DH is 5 hours away and she doesn't drive. It's not great but that's the situation she's in.

Perhaps she’s feeling very unwell, doesn’t have anyone to call on for help or to look after the children?

He was talking about once he returned home and dropped the OP to the hospital.
He said she would have to figure out getting back as he would be at home with 5 children in bed late at night.

He didn’t say “figure it out” full stop as in he wasn’t prepared to do anything for her.

Then she'll need to take her kids with her, won't she? That's life as a parent when you don't drive and choose to move to the middle of nowhere where you know nobody.

You can argue about whether it was a good idea to move there later. She needs help now, not criticism

Her second post on the thread says she lives "in the middle of nowhere".

We can still see your original post lol.

Anyway, my help is "ring a taxi and take your kids with you" - she has no other option, after all.

Husband is 5 hours away. The “help now” is a taxi, as has been suggested.

Jesus H Christ I would not be leaving that til Friday @OneTwinklyBird Get a taxi NOW, get that seen today. It might be that your GP can deal with it, or a minor injuries, but either way, the last thing that infected, failing to heal, open wound needs is two and a half more days to fester.

Yes admit I had not read every post!

Obviously they both chose to have such a large number of kids and live rurally and depend on the husband for transport, but since it's the husband who has left OP trapped, as the only driver, and since he's doing fuck all, he can rectify the problem.

Op has done fuck all too. She hasn’t even see if she can get an appointment to avoid sitting in A&E.
She could have phoned her GP yesterday or this morning and already have had an appointment!

An appointment that she wouldn't be able to get to, as she has said taxis aren't an option and no public transport.

Unless the dripfeed is that the OP lives in the middle of the ocean on a tiny island either a taxi or public transport is an option, it just may not be a pleasant or preferred one. But neither is hanging around for 5 hours and then dragging 5 young children to a late night hospital appointment to wait around.

Taxis are almost always an option - they may not be cheap, but they're available.

👏👏👏

OP hope you get help soon. Let us know how you get on.