To stick with an alcohol free wedding even if some people think it’s odd?

[PopItStar]

Hi all. Slightly nervous posting as I read MN loads but don’t start threads much.

DP and I are getting married later this year. Nothing massive, about 70ish people, family and close friends mostly. We’re trying to keep it fairly simple and low key rather than a huge big production.

One thing we decided quite early on was that the wedding would be alcohol free. Properly alcohol free, not just limited drinks or whatever.

The reason is DP is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for about 18 months now and has done really, really well. It hasn’t always been easy but he’s worked incredibly hard and life is just better all round now. Calmer, happier, all of that.

Before anyone suggests it, yes he’s completely on board with the idea. It was actually him who first said maybe we should just not have alcohol there at all. I agreed pretty quickly.

Also for context I don’t drink either. I barely drank anyway before all this, maybe the odd glass at a wedding or Christmas but that was about it. So giving it up wasn’t a big dramatic thing for me and I genuinely don’t miss it.

We were planning nice alcohol free cocktails, good food, music, the usual wedding things just without wine and prosecco etc.

Anyway I was chatting to a friend yesterday about the plans and mentioned the alcohol free bit. She doesn’t know about DP’s history.

Her reaction was basically “you can’t have a wedding without alcohol, people will expect it”. She said people might think it’s a bit strange or leave early if there’s no bar. She also suggested we could at least do wine with the meal or something.

I sort of laughed it off at the time but it’s been niggling at me since.

Part of me thinks it’s our wedding and surely adults can cope for one afternoon and evening without a drink. And if it helps DP feel completely relaxed on the day then that matters more than someone missing a glass of prosecco.

But equally I don’t want people thinking we’re being weird or tight or something when that’s not the reason at all.

We’re not planning on explaining DP’s situation to everyone either as that feels like his business.

So AIBU to stick with the alcohol free wedding and just leave it at that? Or should we reconsider having at least something available?

Seriously? Even If it was a relative or good friend? OP I think in 2026 far more people choose to not drink or drink v little and would be perfectly fine with this. Some nice mocktails, posh tonics, some good AF beer..there's loads now that are lovely. You can make it special and lovely and if people stay away or think it's odd, thats on them. My only concern would be people sneaking in a flask or something. You might need to prep the best man and senior bridesmaids to deal with anyone who does or who appears pissed so it doesn't spoil your day.

YANBU at all to have an alcohol free weddding.

The fact that some posters wouldn't attend one unless they can drink really does show the extent of the problems with it in the UK.

If your wedding is a couple of hours in the afternoon, with food/a specific activity (not anything you need to lose any inhibition for, like dancing or karaoke), no problem.

You can't expect sober people to have several hours' worth of socialising energy in them, especially if that socialising is around a bunch of people they dont really know/wouldn't actively choose to spend time with.

I wish you a happy wedding, with guests who are also happy to be there with you.

I'd smuggle. It's a long day

I agree, and I love a glass of wine. But if there is great food, music, dancing, funny speeches, gorgorus flowers and lots of delicious AF drinks, it will be just as fun without the hangovers and misbehaviour.

Can't believe the amount of people here that wouldn't attend/shocked at an alcohol free wedding! I don't drink at all and my partner very little. It's much more common these days to practice sobriety. If someone doesn't want to attend because of this I'd be concerned about their relationship with alcohol the fact they can't abstain for someone else's special occasion! I personally don't think you need to divulge into reasons why

I think it’s so sad that you need alcohol to be able to have a decent conversation and a good time. Maybe you could do with an alcohol-free event if it has become that much of a crutch? I often don’t drink and have never felt like a “lemon” because I’ve been too busy chatting, dancing and generally enjoying myself.

Firstly, congratulations on your partner's alcohol free life. Secondly, no, it wouldn't be odd, but as pp have said, just explain that it's alcohol free. I'm sure people can manage for the duration and if they can't, they need to think about getting help too!
One of the best weddings I ever went to was alcohol free. Lovely atmosphere.

I would agree with this.

It's really not much different to having a childfree wedding or a vegan wedding etc it might annoy some people but it is your wedding and ultimately your soon to be DH matters the most here.

You would need to give advance warning from the very practical reason that people may arrange taxis or lifts based on the assumption they will be having alcohol. Advance warning means they might not do this and just drive themselves.

As much as it shouldn’t be the case that alcohol is needed to have fun, I do think an all day wedding with none will be a stretch. That doesn’t mean to say you shouldn’t do it as the reasons you give are very valid but I’d probably leave about 8/9pm at an alcohol free wedding. I suspect others wouldn’t stay all night either. I’m sure lots will say this is an unreasonable take but I’m just going off my own experience.

If your wedding is a couple of hours in the afternoon, with food/a specific activity (not anything you need to lose any inhibition for, like dancing or karaoke), no problem
So people NEED alcohol to lose any inhibition... Isn't this a sad realisation?

I think it would be good to include a couple of fun voluntary games or activities at the reception in case people don't know what to do with themselves and help people loosen up.

That would make me feel like I was at a corporate team building event.

We had similar numbers at our alcohol free wedding. Nobody said anything or was bothered.
Was a lovely day for all concerned.
Just ignore people who make negative comments - they're entitled to their opinion but a shame they think they can't have a fun time without alcohol!
Well done to your husband to be for his sobriety and long may it continue.

YANBU - Your bash, your rules, and nothing matters more than the wellbeing of the bride and groom. I say this as someone many years into sobriety.

However - the reality is that many adults in this country will be aghast at the idea of any sort of social gathering without alcohol and will struggle to get their head around it. They will ask questions, and (depending what your family and friends are like) they might complain, sneer, leave early or possibly smuggle some in. So you need to be prepared for these potential outcomes.

I would probably make sure everyone knows it is an alcohol free event beforehand, and I would have some explanations ready - you don't owe anyone an explanation, but people will want one and it is stressful to be trying to think of something to say in the moment on your wedding day.

It's fantastic that your DP is committed to sobriety, and that you are supporting him. That makes for a good marriage - which matters infinitely more than the wedding. Good luck!

I’ve been to various functions that were decreed to be alcohol free. Without exception, somebody had a room/space at the function with alcohol available resulting in a not-very-secret impromptu party.

The organisers of the functions of course found out and there was much drama.

It's perfectly possible to have "socialising energy" without alcoholic drinks. Plenty of us do!

YANBU. If people need alcohol to 'loosen up' or 'let their hair down' then that's on them. Personally, in their shoes, it might give me pause to reflect on why I can't enjoy myself without a drink in me.

Good way to weed out all the disrespectful people never to be invited to another function!

I don’t drink so it wouldn’t bother me (as a non drinker, late evening at a wedding can sometimes be challenging with the drunken ramblings)!

I do think it is very unusual though and I would elect to tell people in advance. I suspect you will find people will leave earlier as alcohol is very much the norm at social events. I suspect if my wedding had been alcohol free I would have had half the numbers; many would have been there as it’s a good excuse for a piss up!

Last two wedding I have been to have been alcohol free for me as I am the designated driver. So no problems there.
But I suspect people will leave early.
Good luck

OP - I do think you need to tell people, because my travel plans would be different if I was drinking. I might even have to shell out for a hotel, whereas without drinking I would drive home.

Some people are not naturally outgoing or confident and would rather not take part. It's good manners to consider your guests.

This exactly! I love a glass of wine or 6 but could easily happily go an afternoon and evening without! Especially with the mocktails and if there was limitless tea and coffee 😄I do however think it's a good idea to say as others have suggested ..."for personal reasons we are having an alcohol free wedding". Hopefully people will then accept it.