To raise a safeguarding issue with church regarding playgroup?

[Bornunderpunches]

my 2.5 year old son managed to escape the church playgroup. I was just chatting to another mum when I looked up and realised he wasn’t in the hall. He can’t have been longer than 20 seconds from when I’d last seen him and I got up and went looking for him, however being heavily pregnant I’m much slower than him at this point. all the doors were left open and when I got to him he had managed to run across the busy road just about 15 metres from the front door of the church. luckily a passer by had got to him and pulled him out of the road. Ive been going to the group for around a year and nobody in particular runs the group and we’re just left to our own devices, the church has no input whatsoever they just let us use the hall. we buy the biscuits and milk and what not, get all the toys out ourselves and put them away etc. When I told the office in a complete state of shock they were completely dismissive of the issue and said how they leave the doors open for mothers and children to easily access the group and acted like it was nothing to do with them. I just feel like such an awful mother and unsure of how to approach the situation because I don’t know whether this would be considered my fault as the church don’t have anyone supervising the group or the church’s fault for not having more in place for safeguarding in the first place.

While it is OP's responsibility to keep her child safe, I do think she should speak to the safeguarding team because the church volunteer's attitude was poor. Thank goodness OP's DS is OK. If the door that leads outside has a Yale lock, that could be closed so that only adults could get out and people wanting to come in would have to ring a bell.

Who sets it up? It sounds rather informal if no one oversees it.
Who puts out toys? Who takes any payment/donations?
If there is someone who oversees it then yes do mention it. But I do agree that you need to be watching more carefully as they must have disappeared for a while before you realised.

Yes, if it was a external group formally renting the space but that doesn't sound like it is what it is unless I've misunderstood the OP. So the church do have liability.

I really wouldn’t raise it as a safeguarding issue. It could backfire. It sounds like a very informal arrangement and the end result could be them shutting down the playgroup indefinitely, as no one (including you) wants to be responsible for it.

Ultimately, the buck stops with you. You should have been watching him.

"Liability".

The OP marches into the church going on about liability and the rest of it and the agreement to allow mums to meet informally in the space will stop.

So because the OP's child got out when she should have been looking after him, the arrangement stops for everyone.

It sounds like the church have said to a group of mums 'noone uses the hall on a monday but the church will be open so you are welcome to meet up there' this is the sort of informal gathering that used to happen but is much less common now because of responsibilities and liabilities. If I would either the churches safeguarding or safety adviser I would advice them to stop allowing it.

@Bornunderpunches - who is the 'they' mentioned above and what were they asking you to sign up for? That might help to work out who to speak to?

Ah so you want someone else to take responsibility as you wouldn't do yourself.. didn't want to put your name down... says a lot about you..

.mmm.

I used to help run a toddler group with my church , in the church hall. Sadly due to various reasons I had to step down and other volunteers did too. We were not paid it was giving up our own time to do it. As we had such a small group of regulars, more than half were childminders, we continue to let them use the hall at that time , as well as the toys and materials paid for by the church , even though we have no one running it anymore. The doors are always unlocked so carers don't need to come bang on the dot and we have a caretaker who locks up later in the day ( village where low crime rate means we don't need to lock up straight after ). Parents and carers ultimately are responsible for children but yes complaints of such nature would definitely mean the end of good natured community initiatives like this. If it had to be where we had to have volunteers to watch over children , the group would simply end , as we have no one else in the church would wants or can volunteer for this. It would be a shame.

Well, to take an example I play with a recorder group.

we rent a room on a Friday afternoon. We have a rota for turning up and setting the chairs out, and for bringing tea and cakes. We do have a leader but she is not always there and we meet anyway.

her name is on the hire agreement.

many playgroups run in a similar way - a rota for turning up early and setting up, doing squash, and tidying up. There’s usually a committee and a chair/leader who signs the agreement but the chair/leader isn’t necessarily there each time.

in this case it sounds like the leader who signed the agreement with the church has left and setting up is just done by whoever gets there first.

which is fine but it does mean that if the op complains the church will find out the leader has actually left (not just isn’t always there) and no-one else is willing to sign the hire agreement/take responsibility so the group will fold as the church will refuse use of the hall.

So there's no one running it, and it's just a completely informal 'parent and baby' style meetup? No different to meeting in any other public place or somewhere like a cafe really. You are 100% responsible for your child in these circumstances. If you complain the venue will just close it down and say you can't meet there any more as they aren't able to manage the risk that you're apportioning to them.

You have been going to this group happily for the last year, you know the set up but now your child has escaped and you don't know how to approach the situation you are looking for someone to blame. I am sure there is a mirror in your house.

Look, OP, you made a mistake. It's easily done. You should have been watching your little one more closely, particularly as this is essentially just a gathering of strangers in a public place. If the church - or anyone - were actually running this group, then I'd think the organiser should obviously have done a risk assessment and taken action to mitigate risks. In this case, it sounds more like the informal arrangement @helpfulperson has mentioned.

If your toddler is a runner, it may be best to visit more structured surroundings, like official 'stay and play' groups etc.

@Bornunderpunches I don’t know whether this would be considered my fault as the church don’t have anyone supervising the group or the church’s fault for not having more in place for safeguarding in the first place .. you don’t need to apportion blame here OP, just learn from it. Ultimately it’s your responsibility to look after your child. I feel it was probably longer than 20 seconds for your son to get through 2 sets of doors, 15m to a road, then to a stranger to hold him. You would have got an awful fright and are probably still in shock now, just move forward knowing you can do extra to protect your child, and others in future - close the door regardless of what the church say, but especially keep a closer eye on your ds, especially now you know he’s a runner. And teach him very sternly not to go out of doors or onto roads by himself, he should know this already, but reinforce it.

This. You can’t say anything because it makes organisers feel bad and risks the future of the group and in the end the only person who should be feeling bad is you. Sorry but that’s the truth of it.

No you weren't. You were looking to place blame.

Agree with this
Too much blaming someone else for what should have been OPs responsibility

At hat ages it's your job to make sure he's safe their same as if he was in a park or a supermarket

It's neither. It's a group of parents, with church volunteers making the tea and clearing up afterwards. The parents are there and the volunteers are never alone with the DC so don't need DBS checks. The parents also are the ones leaving the doors open, presumably, as then come in and out.

I would offer to buy a stair gate which can be put in place while children are in the room

There’s no safeguarding issue as such, your child your responsibility if it’s a parent stay and play group. It’s irresponsible to leave the doors open but you should have had eyes on him knowing the doors were open. If no one actually runs the group just perhaps ask at the beginning of the next group out loud so people can hear the a suggestion going forward would be to keep the doors shut.

The church has a responsibility to assess risk. They may just start closing the external doors like the OP suggests and maybe put some signs up reminding parents to supervise their own children. Or put a baby gate over the door to the hall. There are options. The OP won't make this mistake again but someone else probably will.

Omg no thats incredibly unsafe. The church toddler group i went to the doors unlocked from the inside but were adult height rather than toddler.

Who was responsible for your child at the point he or she went missing?

The toys will likely belong to the Sunday School, so someone will ultimately be responsible for them.