How long is acceptable to be off work

[shortsout]

After losing a grandparent?

My employer would allow up to 5 days compassionate leave.

In most cases, not at all unless they had parental responsibility for you.

I think this will vary depending on your employer. I would say possibly a day or so of compassionate leave if you need to provide practical support, for eg to a parent, and a day for the funeral

A couple of days, plus a day for the funeral.

Although when I worked in the NHS one of my line managers rinsed it for 6 months with full pay after the death of their grandparent.

Just the day for the funeral

How can we vote with the question you’ve posed ? You need to pose a scenario and then people can tell you if you are being unreasonable or not .

for example. I have been off work since granny died 3 years ago ? My boss isn’t happy . AIBU ?

or My boss won’t give me time off for granny’s funeral. I lived with her and she bought me up.. AIBU

For a grandparent?

Most employers only allow compassionate leave for spouses and first degree relatives, unless there are exceptional circumstances.

I had to take annual leave for my grandmother's funeral.

I was allowed a day off for the funeral - nothing more. And I think that was only because she lived / died in Derbyshire and I lived a long way off.

I think I'll be devasted when my GPs go, we're very close. But I know that I'll throw myself into work to distract myself and I'll take holiday for the funeral.

For most professional people with no additional complications, and for a grandparent who was elderly and frail such that the event would have been expected, I would expect a day off on the day of the death (or the day after if it happens late in the day/overnight) and a day (or two if far-distant) for the funeral.

If the grandparent was relatively fit and appeared healthy and the death was unexpected, or if the employee has additional complications to deal with (e.g. a surviving spouse of the deceased who needs significant support) of if the employee is emotionally/mentally vulnerable themself and not robust to weather the storms of the ups and downs that are expected in life, then perhaps a week of paid leave for each with flexibility offered to take additional unpaid leave if needed.

Compassionate leave is tricky - there's no universally accepted "rate table" but in any circumstances if what you offer is perceived by the employee as nowhere near enough, the chances are they will get themselves declared as "sick" through the stress of dealing with the bereavement and then you are obliged to offer your normal Sick Leave terms.

I was refused compassionate leave when my Mum was dying. Public Sector too.
I doubt you would be entitled to anything. Personally I don't think a day off for the funeral would be unreasonable.

In most cases you aren’t eligible for any special leavers for this.

Dh lost his granddad on Thursday and took Friday off and then had the weekend home anyway, he also took Monday off and went back this morning but his boss has asked for a meeting tomorrow morning and he’s worried it will be about this.
I was wondering if people thought that was reasonable? Or not?
My concern is for his job really.

I was off for about 3 weeks totoal when my last grandparent died but there was several other things going on at the same time which I could have coped with individually but all coming at once was just too much.
When my other grandparents died i didn't have any time off.

This and a day’s annual leave for the funeral.

Two days off is nothing. They’re hopefully doing a meeting as a welfare check in and to show compassion.

One day for the funeral. Public sector.

It's not reasonable, especially if the funeral requires travel. But that's what our contract said.

If your employer is in any way decent it should really depend on how the loss has affected you and how you are coping with it, rather than a blanket day or two.

There is no acceptable amount of time op you just need to prioritise your health and wellbeing in that respect. It completely depends on the nature of the relationship amidst other factors. But your workplace policies may have a set rate detailed in it if that's what you're asking.

I don't know. My grandparents all died long before I was born. But some people were pretty much raised by their Nan. So it depends on how upset you feel I guess.

Work can often be a welcome distraction for some while others might need several days to try and get their head round it. Or they may need to travel abroad or away for the funeral.

I think I had a few days off school when my dad died. Nobody ever asked me if I was OK when I went back. Not one teacher or kid. But that's another story...

Assuming his work are aware of his loss then I’d say it’s a bit harsh for him to have a meeting about it…

How did he “take it off”? Was the Monday already agreed? Did he ask for last minute annual leave or unpaid, or is he just expecting it to be paid time off?

We’re talking 2 days off that DH needed for mental health reasons / grief after losing his grandad. If his work have anything to say about that then it shows what they are like doesn’t it

I don’t think many places allow extra time off for the loss of a grandparent, unless there’s some specific task your DH needs to do that it’s essential be done by him.

Annual leave for the funeral in most places.

Might sound harsh but it’s the reality.

Did he consult the company’s policy before taking the time off or just say he was taking it?

Is it possible the boss wants to check in to see how he's actually doing? Are they usually a good boss?

Depends on the exact circumstances. Personally, unless he'd had to travel a long distance, the Monday off would seem like a bit of a piss-take to me, but others may disagree. If his grandad only died on Thurs will he need to take more time off for the funeral?