This is the height of lazy childcare and I’m so sick of it

[WizardLizard86]

Just back from a church playgroup and at various points it absolutely reeked with small kids needing their nappies changed. I’m not talking babies, I mean toddlers who at some points are actually waddling uncomfortably with full stinky nappies. The minders seem to just do a nappy change en masse before they leave.

Their ‘carers’ are mainly a big group of childminders (no I’m not slagging them all off just these ones!) who just sit having a chat while their charges free roam and they either don’t check or pretend not to notice. An occasional few are parents who are actually sitting right next to their child but still don’t get up to anything about it for ages.

There’s two changing facilities and a box of spare nappies of all sizes and wipes etc so it’s not that. The changing rooms are just off the hall so no one needs to go anywhere else to sort it, and they’re empty most of the time.

I’m a nanny there with toddler twins and triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point but it doesn’t change anything. (We’re not there anymore and they are napping so I’m not slacking off)

It’s so unpleasant for others not to mention gross and uncomfortable for the child, I feel like they’re should be a sign up or something but it just seems such a basic point of childcare it shouldn’t need to be stated.

is it common at other playgroups? I don’t know what the answer is I just wanted a vent. Puts me right off my coffee and hobnob I tell you.

I know what you mean, I have done the same - saying I think someone has done a poo! checked my DC nappy, in the hope it will prompt them to sort theirs! So gross, it’s been a long time but I can remember that smell 😂

Yurgh me too! I remember that smell from a paid crèche I sent my dd to very briefly. It was the first thing that hit you when you walked in but there had been no hint of it when we looked around. I removed her from it straightaway. It is sheer laziness.

Grim, and neglectful. Those little ones will get nappy rash, sore skin etc.

Poor little kids

This is also my experience of childminders tbh. They also did the same thing, formed a big group of childminders and hired a hall to then let all the kids roam while they sat and chatted. We have found nursery much better personally.

Someone I used to know (not a Brit but excellent English) once said to me of baby dd2, ‘I think she’s done stinkies in her nappy.’ 😂

I hated this too, toddler poo is stinking. Not like newborn poo which is also quickly removed but the smell doesn't linger the same. I've always been horrified of nappies left for long time though 🤢 we used cloth so occasionally the smell was so well held in it took me a while to notice as they also don't sag but as soon as I knew off they came. Also potty training late, I was desperate to get away from nappy changes as mine were big and strong and objected greatly to nappy changes so it was a horror show. Both trained just after 2. I do appreciate some kids can't early but not attptibge early when there are no developmental concerns, they must have more compliant kids than me 😂

Haha, I thought you were going to say holiday clubs for kids on holiday.

Yuck that's horrible! The poor children.

I've never experienced that at baby groups. I did go to one where a mum mentioned she doesn't have a sense of smell so she just checked her toddler's nappy physically really often.

From my experience a lot of childminders are like this (not all, I’ve also encountered amazing childminders, but the bulk at playgroups seem to be this way). They sit around planning their nights out while their kids run around in shitty nappies and crashing into things. The amount of times I’ve had to explain how a child injured themselves to a childminder because they were too busy chatting to pay any attention killed any trust if have in them.

Yeah, this is what it’s like- although at some point they go round and take posed pictures of the kids engaging with something to send to the parents, so they probably think they’re well cared for and having a grand old time and being well attended to.

Im not included in the group although a couple of Nannies do seem to be part of it- part of the reason work on my own with kids is so I don’t have to chat shit with adults all day 😂 I think they think I’m really stand offish but at least my charges aren’t going around with shitty bums.

In my experience, this is not necessarily a childminder thing. It's a certain adults thing. I didn't see a lot of childminders out and about when I was with my toddlers, but I spent plenty of time with other mothers and was always a bit surprised by the notable few who were weirdly relaxed about the poo in the nappy. I have a vague memory of one woman sort of doing a tinkly laugh and saying something like, "Oh yes, Johnny's got another poo but he doesn't mind so I'll just leave it until we leave". Mind boggling to me.

I can assume, the fact that I remember the convo but not the woman is a sign that this is not someone I went on to build or rtain a strong friendship with!

Are you Ofsted registered? If you have a welfare concern you should be reporting it!

I agree, it is the height of neglect leaving babies and small children in dirty nappies.
I remember a friend coming over for a few hours when she had a small baby. She left the baby in a full nappy. I politely offered her a changing mat, I had a toddler at this point who was potty trained, but plenty of baby things, as I was planning another baby at the time.

I held baby and could literally feel wet through the clothing. I offered numerous times, "Are you sure, no trouble for me to get the mat, or you can go in the other room etc." She just wouldn't do it, I was making her cups of tea, bringing her cake/biscuits, and she sat there the whole time. She just kept saying she'd do it when got home.

No, as a nanny I’m not (I choose not to be, no benefit to me to register) but I don’t think you have to be registered to report. I’m not sure it’s a welfare concern though (it should be, but as they presumably get changed at some point they probably wouldn’t see it as one) it’s just laziness. Oh and definitely it can be a parent thing too, some just don’t seem bothered enough to react straight away.

I do have my own child too but I’d be fairly mortified if someone had had to tell me he was in need of a nappy change.

Yanbu. That's rubbish. People didn't do that when mine were at toddler groups 15-20 years ago.

That’s so sad! Poor baby, and his skin must have suffered too 😔

I stopped going to the church groups because they are the ones where the parents (not childminders) seem to give absolutely no shits about their child or anyone else for that matter. The amount of kids walking around with globs of snot permanently hanging off their face, and into the toys, snacks etc is enough to make me want to puke. I have toddlers, I know they have endless snot but it doesn't take much to just wipe it away if you are the kind of parent who is actually WITH your child, not just dumping them on the floor and walking off.
And I am also that parent who will happily tell another that their child has done a poo.

I’ve witnessed the exact same thing. Put me off childminders for life. Thank god I never used one with my DC

Yes, I'm not surprised the poor baby had nappy rash a lot. I couldn't believe it, because it was such the opposite of how I cared for my child. I had known this friend for almost a decade, so this was a huge surprise that she would allow this for her daughter. Sadly she cared more about outfits and pretty things than basic needs. She now posts photos of herself and her daughter (now 6) on her whatsapp with filters on both of them, eg false eyes, lipstick etc. We now are very low contact. Seeing somebody you thought you knew parent is really an eye-opener. I guess you never really know somebody.

If you were registered you would at least understand your whistleblowing duty when you have welfare concerns about other providers. Children waddling uncomfortably in soiled nappies for long periods of time is surely a welfare issue?

But if actually you think the children are happy and well cared for then I'm not sure what the issue is?

This has nothing to do with whistleblowing. Most Nannies I know aren’t Ofsted registered but it wouldn’t stop them reporting safeguarding or welfare concerns if appropriate. I don’t really see what use Ofsted would be in this case at all. They’re not going to come and observe the children at a toddler playgroup anonymously to see if they get adequate nappy changes are they?

Many years ago I helped run a Preschool and the CM who came en masse were a bloody nightmare.
They sat around talking to eachother and ignoring the kids, never helped tidy up or volunteered to do anything - it was a charity and to keep costs low everyone took turns to help run things but they refused.
I also saw a few things that gave me minor concerns in how they interacted with the kids, not anything awful just lot of ignoring and minor neglect

You're regularly watching children being neglected but you can't be bothered to do anything about it?
Sounds like you're just as bad as them to be honest.

It really doesn’t.

I’m interested to know what action you think Ofsted would be able take about children being left too long in dirty nappies at a playgroup setting open to parents and childcarers?