This is the height of lazy childcare and I’m so sick of it

[WizardLizard86]

Just back from a church playgroup and at various points it absolutely reeked with small kids needing their nappies changed. I’m not talking babies, I mean toddlers who at some points are actually waddling uncomfortably with full stinky nappies. The minders seem to just do a nappy change en masse before they leave.

Their ‘carers’ are mainly a big group of childminders (no I’m not slagging them all off just these ones!) who just sit having a chat while their charges free roam and they either don’t check or pretend not to notice. An occasional few are parents who are actually sitting right next to their child but still don’t get up to anything about it for ages.

There’s two changing facilities and a box of spare nappies of all sizes and wipes etc so it’s not that. The changing rooms are just off the hall so no one needs to go anywhere else to sort it, and they’re empty most of the time.

I’m a nanny there with toddler twins and triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point but it doesn’t change anything. (We’re not there anymore and they are napping so I’m not slacking off)

It’s so unpleasant for others not to mention gross and uncomfortable for the child, I feel like they’re should be a sign up or something but it just seems such a basic point of childcare it shouldn’t need to be stated.

is it common at other playgroups? I don’t know what the answer is I just wanted a vent. Puts me right off my coffee and hobnob I tell you.

Yep, same issue with the childminders here, the nappies are the least of my worry though, insufficient interaction with the kids they are being paid to care for is my bugbear. I am actually seriously concerned about one individual, considering if we need to take action on safeguarding grounds. I’ve known amazing child minders and a couple are brilliant who come but not all

Same experience here.

A bit like nurseries. At least most childminders are operating in plain sight. A lot of nurseries send selected photos to parents. All the good practice and none of the bad.

Never experienced this - the parents would quickly get into it if this was happening on a regular basis as they would have nappy rash

Yes, that was 15-20 years ago. I think you may find that things have changed so quite a bit since then.

Is it free or subsidised? In my experience you get what you pay for. I only used church playgroups for socialisation, where I was present myself to look after the actual needs.

Rude. And here we're talking about basic hygiene. That shouldn't be going downhill with the decades.

My first response to reading this post was that these women were neglectful, lazy and feckless.

Then, l thought about the cost of nappies. To me they would be a priority purchase no matter what l earned. And they would be changed on a very regular basis for my children.

However, and very unfortunately some children and their financial expenditure are not prioritised by some parents. And their money is spent on other things.

I remember very well, 5-10 years ago, the large group of nannies at church playgroup who would chat and totally ignore the kids, even when they were poorly behaved. Minimal interaction. I know some brilliant nannies but they were few and far between.

Really, really grim - it’s child neglect.

I think I’ve been asked twice in my entire career if I’m a childminder. It’s usually mummy (and more recently nanny 😭). I get asked if children of different ethnicities are twins/triplets 😂.

I also don’t go to these kinds of groups because I know it’s where the lazy ones hang out and it makes me sad.

I've seen this, too. She'd clearly taken against one poor little boy in her care who was a bit more needy than the other she was with and constantly pushed him away when he came for cuddles, then mocked him for crying. I really wanted to find out who she was & report her but I went into labour that night and by the time I was up and back at the groups with #2 I never saw her again. Heartbreaking.

Ugh would never send my child to a nursery for exactly that reason of the dreaded “baby room”, a completely unnatural and odd invention that does not in the slightest align with everything we know about babies - they benefit enormously from fewer caregivers, being around older children, learning through real life exposure and experiences not being in one room with multiple carers and forced “sensory experiences” that they gain nothing from!

No wonder your child’s language exploded when they graduated from the baby room!

Your last line made me laugh out loud.
In all seriousness though, have you directly told the adults (whether carers/relatives that a nappy needs changed. Have they ignored yout or changed the nappies.

Ismf it's a regular occurrence or widespread attitude in the group, bring it to the attention of the playgroup organisers. They should address it too.

Toileting and nappy changing are subject to policies and procedures for best practice. I would absolutely say it is a matter for the authorities who oversee regularly child are in your area. They might not come out and do a spit check but you will have done all you can

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That’s disgusting, very unfair on the children to have a sticky bottom.

So upsetting, OP.
Where is the sense?

Sometimes kids just do gross farts we’ve all checked nappies convinced there is a poo and there isn’t

I’d urge you to report it
I’ve used a childminder since mine were babies and still do but have had a great experience but if I was paying someone who then didn’t tend to my child’s basic needs, I’d go absolutely crazy!

Posts like this air my concerns! In getting back to work I've needed the help of nannies/childminders and it's so easy for them to send you one snapshot of them all happy but you don't know what they're like the rest of the time, including frequent nappy changes. It's all based on trust.

I currently work in a day nursery and am in the process of applying to become a childminder. I was a childminder before and really enjoyed it.
Since working in a nursery I have realized this isnt for me, can be quite fake. I believe I can provide high quality childcare on my own, I certainly wont be leaving children in soiled nappies.

Sorry that’s really disgusting. I frequently lots of church playground and have encountered some shocking behaviour but not this particular problem. Yuck!

I remember taking my eldest DD to her gymnastics club at our Sports Park at the University here and there was a toddler wandering around nearby in a really horrible smelly nappy. What made its poo smell.so bloody horrible I do not know, but the parent nearby was clearly not bothered.

It waa lazy and really make me want to say something, but I didn't. I just moved about 10 chairs down from said child! 😅

I’m sure not all childminders are bad. However I regularly saw a couple of them at the park when taking my dc out. The had a few little ones with them and spoke so harshly to them I was disgusted. I felt sad thinking the parents would have been crushed if they knew, I’m sure of it.

My Dc went to nursery. Their baby room has a policy to take the babies out each day into the smallest garden. There were plenty of nursery workers around and parents picking up at different times so I felt it a more regulated environment for the children.

Dreadful lack of childcare! Changing a soiled nappy promptly is the most basic of childcare. Likely to undermine potty training if a toddler gets used to wearing a soiled nappy.

If it’s a regular occurrence for a number of toddlers, suggest you speak to the organisers. The church shouldn’t be hosting a group where toddlers’ basic childcare needs are being regularly neglected.

As you say, it’s also unpleasant for those attending and may be put people off.

I read your post OP with a creased brow & open mouth. Leaving babies & toddlers in wet & dirty nappies is diabolical & the child minders responsible should be ashamed of themselves.

I would have a private chat with the person who is in charge of opening & closing the hall. The idea would be for this person to say they have noticed a regular smell in the area due to nappies being left on when dirty & needing changed. Can everyone make sure nappies are changed immediately when necessary.

The standard of care sounds dreadful.