This is the height of lazy childcare and I’m so sick of it

[WizardLizard86]

Just back from a church playgroup and at various points it absolutely reeked with small kids needing their nappies changed. I’m not talking babies, I mean toddlers who at some points are actually waddling uncomfortably with full stinky nappies. The minders seem to just do a nappy change en masse before they leave.

Their ‘carers’ are mainly a big group of childminders (no I’m not slagging them all off just these ones!) who just sit having a chat while their charges free roam and they either don’t check or pretend not to notice. An occasional few are parents who are actually sitting right next to their child but still don’t get up to anything about it for ages.

There’s two changing facilities and a box of spare nappies of all sizes and wipes etc so it’s not that. The changing rooms are just off the hall so no one needs to go anywhere else to sort it, and they’re empty most of the time.

I’m a nanny there with toddler twins and triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point but it doesn’t change anything. (We’re not there anymore and they are napping so I’m not slacking off)

It’s so unpleasant for others not to mention gross and uncomfortable for the child, I feel like they’re should be a sign up or something but it just seems such a basic point of childcare it shouldn’t need to be stated.

is it common at other playgroups? I don’t know what the answer is I just wanted a vent. Puts me right off my coffee and hobnob I tell you.

It is neglect to not a change a child's nappy when they need it and can cause rashes, I check my daughters every couple of hours and if it's poo you can usually tell when they've done it before checking, my daughter makes it obvious she's doing a poo and I'll be there getting a nappy and wipes ready for when she's finished, can't imagine just knowingly letting a child sit in poo that's awful for the child

And what? You expect the OP to go around getting all the childminders contact details so she can report them individually for not changing a nappy immediately? & that Ofsted would then follow that up with visits to all their settings?

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Have you had a quiet word with the organisers of the group OP? Perhaps they could say to everyone that they have noticed that everyone loves chatting and is getting in well which is great, but sometimes people aren’t paying attention ehen their child needs a change. Please could they just be aware and change them promptly. Perhaps that would shame the offenders as they know they been spotted?

What on earth has this got to do with me, as a nanny?

I’ve already answered that. I’m baffled as to why you’ve got an Ofsted registration tax free childcare bone 😂

A childminder has to be registered in order for to use the scheme, the childminder doesn’t need to be registered at all though. It’s not something they have to offer.

If I thought a child was being neglected and left uncomfortable for hours in a soiled nappy then absolutely I'd get the childminders name and report. Surprised you would find this so acceptable.

People who earn over £100k cannot use the tax free childcare scheme.

Don’t have a good word to say about childminders, from my time on the playgroup/soft play circuit.

Would never leave my kids with a childminder. Nursery was much better (and far more accountability)

Could you figure out which child it is with a dirty bum and go over to the group and say e.g. “Hi, do any of you know who the carer is for blonde girl in pink skirt? - I’m pretty certain she needs her nappy changing” - repeat for any child that you notice until they get the message! You will probably end up with a nickname like the Shitsniffer, but at least you can then enjoy your chocolate hobnob and coffee.

I was a childminder for 9 years and yes, I witnessed lazy CMs, nannies and parents at toddler groups, soft play and in playgrounds. I always would call out - who’s got the dirty nappy - and point it out to the child’s responsible adult. It was grim sometimes but I could be pretty bossy with the childminders in our local group.
I was also a childminder mentor for newly registered childminders and always told them that if they are minding in public - as they should be - then they have to behave like they are being watched every time they go out. Because they are.

People on MN seem to hate childminders but I would not have sent my children to a nursery - ever. I don’t believe that a group setting is the right place for infants. Maybe for a child getting ready for school and once they can talk but not babies. My own children went to a childminder and I was delighted with the care. Not perfect but I wouldn’t have been either if I had stayed at home.
When I left childminding, I became an NHS Childcare Coordinator to help staff find good quality childcare to encourage them to return to work. Honestly, the shabby nursery care I witnessed when I went round inspecting local nursery settings was sometimes shocking. Disappointing to watch disinterested 17 year olds leaning against walls, discussing their nights out while their charges tried to amuse themselves. Baby rooms with 15 cots in them. The worst settings were those that offered apprenticeships. Young girls who obviously couldn’t find any other job were doing their NVQs. I think that they thought it was going to be an easy ride.

I would speak to the toddler group leader and ask them to set some ground rules around nappies and tidy up time.

Yes. Sadly you can’t avoid them when the dc are school-age and at the same school as your child. Still snotty…

I saw so many absolutely filthy coats on children this am at the school playground. You can tell it’s not recent mud marks but actual old stains all over.
Some parents seem to wash coats only once a year.

They do that same photo op thing in nurseries. Parents get a few photos every day showing the ten seconds their child was engaged with a toy or an activity.

Indeed.

I once had a child over to play with one of my DDs, and washed and dried her jacket while the children played. I told the mom it had fallen into mud when they were playing outdoors and I "couldn't possibly send it home in that state" for her to wash.

It was grim.

I'm not sure what people are struggling to understand about @WizardLizard86 posts regarding being employed as a nanny and not a self employed childminder, but as that's derailing the actual question - yes this is normal. I'm regularly one of the only parents at toddler groups in churches and it's just a gaggle of childminders ignoring the children who stink and are either running around hurting each other or if they cry too much they just get strapped into a pushchair and parked next to the childminders. About 80% of the childminders I've come across are like this and there is zero chance I'd leave my child with them. I feel incredibly sorry for the parents who think their childminder is providing quality small group care when they simply aren't.

It doesn’t, because Nannies are rarely self employed OR paid cash in hand. They’re employed via a payroll company. It’s weird you’re so hellbent on pushing something you’re completely clueless about.

That was nice of you, I’d have done the same. I’m always very mindful of coat washing for my charges and my own child’s coat and do it first opportunity once we get in so it’s dry for the morning but I wonder if some parents don’t have a spare as you do see a lot of filthy coats.

I used to temp in nurseries and although rare a few were like this, but the disengaged young ones usually didn’t last long once they realised what bloody hard work it was for such little pay. You need good management in nurseries to retain good staff. My own son’s nursery have had the same staff through the 2.5 years he’s been there. A revolving door of staff is the biggest red flag for me in nurseries.

I also agree, I could never find a good childminder. The two I used would roam around shopping and driving here there and everywhere meeting with friends for coffee with my toddler son sleeping the day away in his car seat. Then invariably he’d be awake all night. He also developed nappy rash probably due to sleeping most of the day away in a wet nappy.

Urgh, I saw this so often. Full nappies very belatedly attended to, food-splattered clothes wet with dribble, snotty train tracks of green running down their faces, cradle cap in great big yucky clumps. It’s lazy and neglectful.