This is the height of lazy childcare and I’m so sick of it

[WizardLizard86]

Just back from a church playgroup and at various points it absolutely reeked with small kids needing their nappies changed. I’m not talking babies, I mean toddlers who at some points are actually waddling uncomfortably with full stinky nappies. The minders seem to just do a nappy change en masse before they leave.

Their ‘carers’ are mainly a big group of childminders (no I’m not slagging them all off just these ones!) who just sit having a chat while their charges free roam and they either don’t check or pretend not to notice. An occasional few are parents who are actually sitting right next to their child but still don’t get up to anything about it for ages.

There’s two changing facilities and a box of spare nappies of all sizes and wipes etc so it’s not that. The changing rooms are just off the hall so no one needs to go anywhere else to sort it, and they’re empty most of the time.

I’m a nanny there with toddler twins and triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point but it doesn’t change anything. (We’re not there anymore and they are napping so I’m not slacking off)

It’s so unpleasant for others not to mention gross and uncomfortable for the child, I feel like they’re should be a sign up or something but it just seems such a basic point of childcare it shouldn’t need to be stated.

is it common at other playgroups? I don’t know what the answer is I just wanted a vent. Puts me right off my coffee and hobnob I tell you.

Yes and sometimes I felt judged by the other carers aas I stayed within sight of mine, that didn't mean I never had a conversation but that id start several over the course of a morning and not finish them all as I'd make sure I was there to scaffold if I needed to.

I usually pop over to them when I see who the child belongs to and say i think he’s done a poo.

That makes me feel better about washing DS's coats whenever I feel like it (which is often.)

Nappies aren't that expensive though! The ones I buy for DS are less than £3 for 40, I bought two packs this month in my big shop as I had a couple of packs left over. (I do a big Sainsbury's shop once a month and get all the big, bulky, and/or heavy stuff.) I normally buy four packs but didn't need to.
DS gets changed in the morning, at lunch time and dinner time, gets a fresh nappy at bedtime after his bath/shower, and then whenever he does a poo, or it looks heavy because he's weed a lot. I'd say five or six nappies on average a day, so a pack lasts roughly a week. Sometimes it's less and I end up with a surplus, like this month, sometimes more and I pray they hold out until the 1st of the month when I get my child maintenance payment. I'm a single mum on UC so people saying they can't afford it get on my nerves! Granted I'm lucky I get CM from my ex and live in social housing, but I still have bills to pay and food to buy, and DS is my priority. Him being clean, warm, fed and comfortable are important to me. I even knew a young woman who had her DS at 14 who managed that, it's the most basic thing, so your first response just about sums it up.

That's like me. I was so worried I'd miss it I was neurotic about checking. Those poor children, think of those saw little bottoms 😞

@TulipsLilacs it is rubbish but it certainly did happen 15-20 years ago at some toddler groups. I went once to one like this and did not return. The childminders sat in the chairs at the side talking whilst the children were ignored.

As a mum of a 30 and 24 yr I can't believe we aren't even talking about toddlers still being in nappies my two were both dry well before that stage!! It just wasn't a thing for toddlers to be in nappies after 18 mths.

It’s marketing well done by Pampers and the rest of them.

Sigh

What's your deal? The op is absolutely correct but you seem to be.doggedly going after her??

Have to say, I thought the OP dealt with that and the other poster (who is a returning troll I think) like a champ 👍🏻

BTW Pampers, disposable nappies and mostly training between the ages of two and three was perfectly standard for 1996 and 2002.

It’s true that children on the whole trained earlier at one time but you’d have to go further back for that, probably more like forty-fifty years really. And there was a pushback against it, not so much instigated by Pampers as the fact that disposable nappies meant that it was easier for it to be a bit more child led and most children trained easily a few months either side of three.

Now the pendulum is swinging back, mainly because of tabloid claims about classes of children in nappies, but also because of the popularity of Oh Crap on here. To me, frankly it seems like a lot of hard work. I’ve actually used ChatGPT to help me with DDs potty training which was much more helpful and dare I say kind (not to mention realistic.)

Posters who shame parents for not having their children out of nappies age 2 should be trapped in a giant stinky nappy for the rest of the day.

Sorry should have phrased it as "People didn't do that at the toddler groups I went to 15-20 years ago." There weren't groups of childminders though. Just individual ones

Well as a childcare professional of many years in all honestly I think it’s a weird flex in most cases to potty train early. I’ve probably successfully potty trained 5 infants now, and I will not do it before they can effectively communicate verbally or show signs that they need the toilet and understand what you’re asking of them. Letting them pee or poo their pants until you can train them like a puppy is undignified and incredibly messy and this is usually what happens when they’re too young to properly understand what’s happening. The whole oh crap thing is just not a method I use, I don’t want to be locked down with an undressed child for days on end. children can be ready at different times. Parents are always asking me to start it but I generally refuse until around 2.5 onwards and when their communication is at a high enough level.

Never encountered that and I have been to lots of playgroups with my nanny charges and granddaughter.
Although when I lived in London I reported 2 Nannie’s for lack of care (both horrendous!) and found a fair few childminders were simply horrible to their little ones. Moved outside of London and found most childminders were fantastic in comparison to the London ones.
I’d also stay clear of nurseries as many employ young females who do not care for the children and have high staff turnover.

It’s revolting. I used to just tell other parents/carers ‘your child has done a poo, you need to change their nappy.’ It always boggled my mind that anyone would let their child wander around with stinking poo against their skin.

No, no problem at all at the two church groups I attend with my youngest two grandchildren.
Relatively small groups with an equal number of grandparents and parents at both, but no childminders .

hmm, whilst I hear what you saying OP, your attitude is just as worrying. My one year old is with a nanny (who Is from a well known nanny school)
She does a number of activities with my child and she has never mentioned this. I really hope she is kind enough to point out a soiled nappy/uncomfortable child to their respective carers and is polite/friendly enough to do this with grace/good manners as my child spends all day with her so hope she is setting a good example. Whilst reporting it (I am not familiar with as we didn’t look into childminders or nurseries) might be the best course long term it doesn’t help the child running around in a soiled nappy short term.

Perhaps the playgroup could put up a sign to say leaving a soiled child is unacceptable for them ,and the group ,.It is a sad world that it's necessary

This is awful. As a childminder and former nanny I change the children as soon as they have pooed as it is not pleasant for anybody, let alone the child. I change wet nappies every few hours. This is not something that i have come across here in Northern Ireland. Maybe are Chikdminders are better trained as we go through rigours inspections. I would try a different playgroup tbh.

I’m sorry to hear this. As a childminder and former nanny this is not at all what I have encountered here in Northern Ireland.

Loads of childminders are like this. I remember it clearly myself.

This is concerning. I'd be worried that the baby had marks or bruises hence why she didn't want to change it in front of you.

i have seen parents doing this! YANBU I want to scream because the adults are perfectly comfortable in their presumably dry pants laughing and socialising while the DC are waddling around, skin chaffing, in a loaded nappy.

Also I get angry with the disposable nappy companies for seemingly showing a nappy can hold more and more and encouraging less changes!

I’m a childminder and there is definitely this type of childminder but the good ones won’t mix with that type so we get the bad name without earning it. I stopped going to one group as I didn’t want to be associated with them. However 3 times in my life I’ve worked in nursery and every singe one of those experiences had me convinced nursery was worse than a decent childminder. I’ve come across good nurseries too but generally they only suit the kids who demand the attention, the quiet well behaved children don’t get the level of care I feel they would get with a decent childminder.

childcare is such a difficult decision for parents and every setting has strengths and weaknesses that will suit some children and not others.

what I will say though about groups. Is while I watch my charges and keep on top of nappies snotty noses and drinks etc the reason I go to groups is for them to free play/not be adult led. Building independence and social skills in a group doesn’t usually need adult support immediately next to a child. I do the structured activities back at my setting

I agree, although the pampers blue line type aren't right either. It is common sense isn't it? Feed, nappy change. I think these parents honestly don't care, and are neglectful in other areas too.

There is a local childminder my friend uses who talks in the street to neighbours, while the kids are running around, little toddlers; one got right up the street before she noticed. It is frightening.