This is the height of lazy childcare and I’m so sick of it

[WizardLizard86]

Just back from a church playgroup and at various points it absolutely reeked with small kids needing their nappies changed. I’m not talking babies, I mean toddlers who at some points are actually waddling uncomfortably with full stinky nappies. The minders seem to just do a nappy change en masse before they leave.

Their ‘carers’ are mainly a big group of childminders (no I’m not slagging them all off just these ones!) who just sit having a chat while their charges free roam and they either don’t check or pretend not to notice. An occasional few are parents who are actually sitting right next to their child but still don’t get up to anything about it for ages.

There’s two changing facilities and a box of spare nappies of all sizes and wipes etc so it’s not that. The changing rooms are just off the hall so no one needs to go anywhere else to sort it, and they’re empty most of the time.

I’m a nanny there with toddler twins and triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point but it doesn’t change anything. (We’re not there anymore and they are napping so I’m not slacking off)

It’s so unpleasant for others not to mention gross and uncomfortable for the child, I feel like they’re should be a sign up or something but it just seems such a basic point of childcare it shouldn’t need to be stated.

is it common at other playgroups? I don’t know what the answer is I just wanted a vent. Puts me right off my coffee and hobnob I tell you.

Have you tried to raise a concern and been told Ofsted don't deal with that or are you guessing?

Eurgh yeah I remember one mum who had a toddler like this at a baby/toddler group. The nappy was always sagging down and just stunk the room out. I always made a point of checking DS’s and saying something like “oh I thought you needed a nappy change but it’s ok!”.

This is somehow worse because they’re paid to care for these children and they’re failing to do so. I’d actually be inclined to find out their names to report to OFSTED.

I'm so glad I opened this thread while eating chocolate. 😂

Seriously though, how rank and neglectful. Those poor kids.

I often think one of the benefits of childminders is that they are out in the community rather than behind closed doors like nurseries - but that only works if members of the community are prepared to act when they have a concern about a child's welfare.

Children's welfare is everyone's business, and particularly as a professional you shouldn't just ignore welfare concerns.
Once years ago I reported a childminder who ran a toddler group and it was taken seriously - I don't know exactly what Ofsted did but they resolved the issue.

I also know of a childminder who was reported by a member of the public for shouting at a child at a softplay and it triggered a full inspection.

I'm not sure where the myth has come from that Ofsted don't act on complaints or don't deal with things that happen in public places, but it's not true at all.

DDs's childminder used to get together with other CMs every day, the kids had an absolute whale of a time and had excellent care. I never considered nurseries as the local ones weren't great anyway, and the next best thing for me from DDs being at home with me was being in a home setting with an experienced childcare provider. And as she was at the end of the street, the house was even rather similar, though much cleaner and more organised than ours! You hear and see some awful practices at nurseries and I wouldn't say that all nurseries are terrible because of it.

I did, she wouldn't let me! When I held baby at end and her nappy was full (wet), she said she was going in 5. I said, "Well change her before you go", and she wouldn't, so made my excuses for her to leave.

This thread is highly disturbing. I can’t believe that people are defending leaving children sitting in waste. 5 or 10 minutes to deal with something and get to a safe place to change a soiled diaper is acceptable. If a caregiver can’t change nappies on demand in a given situation and children need to simply wait indefinitely, the caregiver should not be taking the children into that situation.

I’m guessing they don’t want to take all of them to the changing room at one time until it’s time to go and hence they leave them to fester. This is why we went for a nursery. I think you need more hands on deck for adequate care. Our nursery had enough staff that they could do contact naps for eldest for the first couple months during setting in. You wouldn’t get that with a childminder being pulled in a million directions.

I went to a local church cafe/soft play yesterday and realised that four of the children were with a childminder when I went through to the cafe bit.

As she was de-highchairing one she noticed a whiff and then rounded up the whole group for nappy changes and they all went out and returned together.

I assumed she couldn’t leave the other three and just has some incredible method of doing one whilst distracting the them!

Pre-children I took a friends child to soft play, got there with literally a water bottle and realised she’d taken a poo in her nappy. I eventually plucked up the courage to ask another parent of a similar size child if I could have a nappy and they were very kind and gave me wipes and a nappy bag too. I’ll always pay that forward if the opportunity arises 😅

i know people on here can be sniffy about nurseries but the behaviour of CMs at playgroups put me off using one.
DD did go to one for wraparound when she was older, she never took her children anywhere. Just the school run and back which I also think was a bad sad.

It's awful, but so many don't watch them at all, spending all their time on their phones. They would no doubt say that's judgmental, but when there's an accident because their kids have been fighting, they then act surprised. And the same people go on about safeguarding regarding photos and strangers (not saying those things are irrelevant, but the point is they're a risk to their kids).

Never experienced that

Im lucky ive got a brilliant childminder for my daughters

This is gross…….must be so uncomfortable for the children not to mention the added risk of nappy rash FFS! And just imagine the mess if it was a runny poo that leaked as they were toddling around 😱🤮

My DC are teens now but this takes me right back to the baby days when we used to go to playgroups . Same group of childminders the few every week chatting and leaving the children in their care to run around with dripping noses and full nappies . Made me instantly shelve the idea of using a childminder when I went back to work; nursery only for us. They even used to make the clay models/Mothers day cards themselves and pass it off as the child having done it!
Obviously I appreciate that not all childminders are like this, but if even these few were a small example of one then I was never going to take the risk.

A friend of mine once left her dd sitting in poo through a meal then drove home. I offered a nappy but was declined.
I thought a bit differently about her after.
She's a GP which is probably not relevant, but interesting

Our childminder doesn't take her mindees to playgroup. I've never seen any childminders at playgroups I've been to (it's been obvious everyone was either parent or grandparent), so that sounds like a local issue.

I stopped going to a playgroup that was all grandparents who let the children run around snatching / pushing etc. They were all members of the same church and ran the playgroup themselves while they chatted and drank tea. Of course that's fine, as I realised it wasn't really a playgroup just for everyone to join.

I always feel very sorry for older toddlers in nappies that clearly aren't changed often. It's really undignified and unhygienic for them to roam around wearing a nappy full of poo and/or wee.

I used to run a playgroup and we had a group of childminders who would come every week and just sit in a circle chatting and ignoring their charges the entire time. Issues like what you described were common and even kids escaping and being near roads happened because they weren't being watched. As they were in charge of them they really should have been ensuring their safety and wellbeing at all times. It used to annoy us a bit because us volunteers were run ragged lugging out toys/crafts/sorting snacks etc and they would just sit on their butts the entire session not even pitching in the slightest, while being paid and we were doing everything for free- made us feel like mugs! I will say though that we had some really lovely childminders that fully engaged with Thier children, but sadly they were few and far between. I used to find the same at soft play though when a large group would go and have their faces stuck in their full English while their kids they were looking after were crying from hurting themselves/needed nappies changed and they didn't bat an eyelid. If that was my child I'd have been raging 🤷

I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything, especially as you are a childcare professional yourself and therefore have an elevated duty (ethically, if not legally) to intervene.

What’s with all the ‘triple checked their nappies loudly to make a point’ nonsense? People who are ignoring children who’s nappies need changing certainly aren’t going to pick up on your subtle signalling.

‘That child has a full nappy and is your responsibility, change her now’ is a complete sentence. Ask a Dutch friend or colleague for a crash course in blunt honesty if you struggle with it.

@WizardLizard86 I've seen childminders in several different settings (e.g. soft play) and the common theme seems to be children (even tinies crawling) left to their own devices whilst they sit together and chat. Gives them an easy life I guess but too low a bar for me as paid childcare.

I’ve not come across this since taking my grandson to playgroups.
The Salvation Army club I take him to particularly is very aware of young mums, child care support. They encourage mums/grandparents to join in, play with the toys listen to a story and then brief coffee/juice and snack break break and finally ‘band practice’. They welcome interaction with disabled children too which is great for everyone including their parents who can feel left out.

If occasionally someone arrives and clearly doesn’t join in, on their mobile, ignore their surroundings then one of the SA ladies sits and has ‘a little chat’. On one occasion a couple of mums arrived with McDonalds and coffee and their toddlers were, yes, in need of a nappy change. They were quickly addressed.

Mother and toddlers groups locally are all different, and one or two are reported as more coffee mornings for mums with feral toddlers, which is very sad. I’ve not gone to these when other grandparents have commented on the disorder.
These children will possibly be the future ones not ready for school reception that Ofted reports as not out of nappies and unfortunately get pigeon holed as a problem child, when really the problem is the parent.

OP previously said she would happily register if the parents paid for it and wanted it.

You must have missed that.

I've found the opposite! Childminders checking all the nappies when there's a whiff in the air and loudly saying nope not mine!

I agree with the poster who said it's a lazy person thing not a childminder specific thing.

You get good and bad childminders, and you get good and bad nurseries, just like you get good and bad parents.