To Think that Disability Shouldn't be a Trump Card

[MissAustenMadeAQuilt]

Don't know how to link but the case is easy to find.

Martin Madden worked for the Met Police as a civilian worker.

He made many crude, lewd and sexual remarks to women co-workers and eventually he was sacked for this.

He has gone to a tribunal. As he was diagnosed with ADHD in 2022, the judge found that he was disabled and was not aware that his actions were inappropriate.

He will now be compensated.

This, and the recent Tourettes case where a racial slur was excused because of disability, makes me wonder if ADHD and Tourettes will now be a "Get Out of Jail Free" card and it is PoC and Women who will suffer the consequences.

I do have a skin in the game. I am woman and have a mixed race child.

AIBU?

Why?
Why does that leverage no impact / despite it being an actual living breathing famous white ma purposefully using the word, for the sole purpose of getting money -but a disabled man with no control, intent or benefits apparently has a huge, offensive impact?

Once again - the only difference I can see is one group is rich and famous and the other is poor and disabled.

And if it’s “still a slur in art” why hasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio been called on to apologise for his repeated and purposeful use?

Yes - it is involuntary use of a slur, for which they are blameless. It is, generally, still a slur.

(I say generally as there are divergent opinions among black people about whether it remains a slur in certain contexts in which some black people use the word, and obviously black people can have tourettes).

Because of the context in which it was used. I don't know how many times this needs explaining to you.

People can be upset by a slur, and a slur can be a result of a tic.
Both things can exist.

Because nobody has explained the context of why this is OK when another (poor disabled) white man saying it uncontrolled is offensive and a slur.

Both things can exist
and the tic is involuntary and the initial reaction of the receiver is also involuntary- it can be shock and fear
apologies should be accepted, deep
breaths taken - an adult human response on both sides

The chap with Tourette's did apologise... from what I gather he sent a private apology to the people affected, but the arseholes of the world did not deem that good enough.

He did indeed.

They have actually called for him to be harmed - not just on social media but at awards ceremonies. The biggest TV show in the States made fun of him and implied Tourette’s is fake.

But yeah, the real victim here is millionaire friend of Diddy and Epstein Jamie Foxx. Poor lamb

He apologised
he also asked the bbc to ensure nothing bad was broadcast
he did everything he could
and some people deem it insufficient- if they are that easily offended perhaps THEY should stay at home

As best I can tell, not a single person in this thread has said "it is okay for DiCaprio (for example) to use the term, but it is not okay for Davidson to inadvertently use it".

People have argued that taking offence is subjective, and it's more understandable for someone to be offended at hearing a slur in a pre-watershed, family-friendly, award show context than in a 18-rated movie specifically portraying racism (and where the age rating is based, in part, on use of that slur - as made clear in the guidance).

Again - whether something is "acceptable" and whether someone may find it offensive are not one and the same.

I don't think an apology should have been demanded of him - because it is not his fault - though he is of course free to offer it.

I assume that the reason he asked the BBC not to broadcast anything "bad" is because, even though it is not his fault, he understands the offence that can be caused.

He hasn't done anything wrong. People are still entitled to feel offended by whatever they like (not least language that is widely considered to be offensive) but they shouldn't take it out on him.

In day-to-day life, people need to accept that even if they feel offended by involuntary ticks, they need to suck it up. Uncomfortable as they may be, John's right to exist in the world wins out, every time.

In a pre-recorded tv broadcast, they really ought to have been able to accommodate both.

Another thread of different groups trying to kick each another off the ladder of oppression.

Stamping on the fingers of the disabled must make you feel so righteous OP.

It’s unfair to compare both.

The ADHD guy had control over what he was saying, the Tourette’s one didn’t. My partner has both and while fortunately for him it doesn’t manifest as slurs/insults, he’s had issues before and is looking to just become self-employed.

Having read the judgement I think it was correct.
You seem to have misunderstood the BAFTAS situation.

I don't want to fight with PoC as they are also a minority, but the OP's comments are ableist. Disability is horrific. So is racism. I wouldn't call race a "trump card". Please don't do the same back. We really all should be supporting and protecting one another.

Ever since th BAFTAs people have said JD is racist, his tic was hurtful and he should apologise and that the n word is always a slur - except, it isn’t is it. The artful way in which people pick and choose when it’s hurtful is relevant, yet illogical.

So who decides? Who decides whether it’s racist and hurtful? And why is it John Davidson’s problem how people take his tic?

He day 40 rows back and the BBC assured him his rice wouldn’t be broadcast because he’s a decent guy who doesn’t want to upset people of draw attention to himself. The audience were also wanted yet wealthy black celebrities still made threats on a public stage and insinuated that Tourette’s is a controlled and purposeful condition.
This is what people with Tourette’s deal with constantly.
And yet to many people we STILL can’t centre the feelings and safety of disabled people.

Can I ask some of the posters in here arguing about whether the N word is a slur or not and context etc.

What skin do you have in this game?

Most tourettes sufferers are accepting that it is a slur, and they themselves do often apologise even though they cant control tics. Whether they should have to apologise for what is a disability is a different discussion. But on the whole most do apologise and are accepting that regardless of intent words can and do cause offense and harm.

Re the word being used in films, I think there are mixed opinions on this but surely understanding that it is art and a film is something you can choose or not to go and see and it is in context in a film.

That is different from hearing a slur when out in public, or at an awards ceremony wtc and not realising the cause. I think once explained the majority have been understanding of there being no intent.. it can still hurt though.

This polarisation if this side says X, this side says Y is really unhelpful and harmful.

I am not sure why people say if a slur is ok in a film it should just be ok. They are not saying its not ok for someone to tic, just that the context is different so on this occasion it was harmful. And it was to both the Bafta attendees and to tourettes sufferers. That was not John Davidsons fault. It was the fault of organisers and BBC.

For context I have a child with tourettes and adhd and also other complex needs. Yesterday I got an email to say my child cant go to a local SEN activity because of his tics as its not a 'need they can accomodate'. This is after I emailed them as their behaviour policy says if a child swears they have to be removed and spoken to. I explained my child has tics which include swearing and also shock language as part of his PDA. If I were to remove him and tell him off it will escalate and also I am shaming him for behaviour he cant control. That doesnt mean I dont manage any behaviours it just means we do ignore tics.

Apparently thats not ok.

I am really saddened to these arguments particularly the lack of understanding of how harmful slurs can be even without intent. We ignore that doesnt mean peoole arent upset. There can be space for both.

Some fun tics from my son today include: har har; round round round; roundabout and my current favourite CHIMICHANGA. Caps for emphasis on the loudness of the chimichanga tic. Hope people don’t think he has a Mexican food racist trump card.

FFS.
More anti disability crap and rage bait.

I find it intetesting how some tics are so specific and the intonation and tone etc. Often my son has tics and every time the tone and emphasis on certain words is the same. And often very loud 😂

As a heads up there is another thread re tourettes and apparently children with tourettes who moght swear shouldn't go places there are other children.. 🙄 but the same poster has asked what parents do if their child has tourettes.

Oh to live in such a bubble that you cant even comprehend it, yet at the same time to dare suggest that children with tourettes shouldn't be near other children in case they swear.