Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

[ConnectThree]

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

Absolutely nothing! Everyone’s situations are different and it would be boring if we all did the same thing!

I’m think it’s your choice as a couple , after all you’re the parents .
OH only ever wanted 1 and now I’m older I’m not going to lie , as much as I love my children and wouldn’t be without any of them , life would have been easier in terms of time and finances.

I wouldn’t judge someone who n the number of children they had or if they chose to have none. One of my daughters says she would rather have dogs 🐕.

Nothing but since you ask if I had to think I’d say probably quite wise given economic climate and it would be quite nice to be able to be able to focus on one little person. Each to their own is what I think.

I only have one (for many reasons) and I have literally had people say to me "aww you cant let them be an only child and well what about when you die"...so so rude 😒. I hope by that time they will have a life and support network of their own!

I am an only child mum to an only child. I don't even think about it. Of the 8 women in my NCT class, 3 of us stopped at 1. That's nearly half!

That’s horrible, people are arseholes sometimes. Sorry you had to deal with that.

I don’t care what others think of me only having 1 child. Fair play to those that have more. 1 works for our family

Couldn’t give a shit to be honest.

Although people do. A lot of people seem to take great offence. Ds was an only child until he was 12. I got so many shit comments.

I had two more.

Now I’m told 3 is too many and I was too old to have my last at 41. I can’t win.

Almost half of my year 2 kids classmates are one child families. I think it’s really common now - each to their own! There’s advantages and disadvantages to all family set ups.

Why do you think in they judge? I’m a Londoner & know a lot who have stopped at 1 due to affordability.

Sending you a huge hug. If you are able to, hunt down a podcast called "The Psychology of your 20s" and listen to episode 283 - The psychology of the only child syndrome. Some incredibly interesting facts in there that dispel a lot of only child myths.

Thanks I'll do that

Literally nothing. I would feel a bit sad for them if it wasn’t by choice, but everyone’s family is different. We have 2 because that’s how many we wanted to have and we’re happy with that. I was an only child and am very grateful for it because my mum just about scraped through coping with one. It would have been a nightmare with a sibling (I have a much older half sibling, my dad’s who was an adult when I was born and I haven’t spoken to him in over 25 years). I was very happy as an only child. Never wished for a sibling as a child, never lonely, never wished for one now.

Dh's 2 sisters said it was a bad idea and we should have more because its important to have siblings. Tbh they dont take finances into account.

Dh's cousin's partner/ex partner (not really sure about the status but they have a baby together in addition to an older child from previous relationship) said that it wasn't a good idea to have a vasectomy cos it was too final. She does live in housing association property so is trying to get a 3 bed. I suppose if she had a third, she could get a 4 bed?

I actually disagree with the majority here. My thoughts are complicated. I totally understand the reasons for only having one child. And I don't judge anyone for choosing to have one. I also see potential advantages on only having one. But but but...having seen my three together and knowing what a gift it is for them to have siblings to play with and grow up with there is a part of me that feels a bit sad for the child who doesn't get that experience

Nothing.

And anyone who has a negative opinion on it (will be parents with 2 or more of course) will be berating you because they're jealous as they see you as having an easier time than them/having more money!

This 100%

At most I think "oh ok" when I am told they are sticking with 1

And actually feels a bit sad for the parents too. The only thing more amazing and joyful than loving your own child and seeing them happy is watching two people you love infinitely also love each other. Plus it must be hard work to have to parent an only child sometimes without a built in playmate.

Sensible. Good on them for knowing their limits and playing it safe.

I've known far too many families where the parent(s) can't cope with all the kids, or the siblings hate each other.

I don’t think anything about it.

I have only one child,as does my DD. No fertility issues with either of us. I used to get comments about it when my DD was much younger but I think that nowadays it's much accepted as normal. Whatever normal means! I can't remember when someone last commented on the fact that I only have the one. My DD has had remarks about it,again quite a while ago (her DD is now 19). To be honest,I don't really care what people think about my choice to only have one child. I think too much is made of only children not having any siblings. Having brothers and sisters is not always as lovely as some people like to make out. I am NC with one of my brothers and low contact with the other, and I know of 2 people who also have little or no contact with their siblings. My late DM was an only child and absolutely hated it. Until she was 12 years old she kept hoping that her parents would provide her her with a brother or sister. Then WW2 happened and she resigned herself to the fact that it wasn't going to happen. To her credit,she never ever criticised or commented on my or my DD's decision to only have the one.

If I thought anything at all I would think 'oh, they have one child. That's nice.' The same as I would think about someone who had two children or three. I would also, as a mum of five, think 'how sensible.'

There are more factors than fertility as to why people have / don’t have children, or have the number of children they have.
And it’s nobody else’s business but their own.

Nothing... I think nothing

Who cares