Am I right to be suspicious of my male flatmate wishing me a happy International Women’s Day?

[YourUmberNewt]

My male flatmate wished me a happy International Women’s Day. I reacted with suspicion as to why he even knows that this exists, and that he might have ulterior motives for wanting to practice being “sensitive and thoughtful” to women. He thinks it is a good thing and that he’s “progressive”. AIBU?

Mumsnet is known as a man hating forum and men can literally do nothing right. Luckily there are a lot of us with very good men in our lives so we don’t see suspicious behaviour everywhere we look.

Or… they grew up being told that’s what you do. They did it for teachers, their mums, female relatives on the day etc. because that’s what you do. They saw their dads doing it. They kept the custom.

Mindblowing, I know.

😄

If he works for a big corporate (especially with a rubbish gender split) he will probably have found it difficult to avoid IWD.

I like to wish my male colleagues Happy International Men's Day in November. It really confuses them. 😁

Yes. They love non-monogamy because it caters to men's desires. The fact that women don't enjoy it so much... who cares?

Although then of course, they will argue that the reason why you don't enjoy non-monogamy is because you have been brainwashed by "the patriarchy" and princess stories. As though there is something defective in you that they can fix.

I woke up to a message in my work's whatsapp group wishing a happy international women's day to all the women.
On international men's day the women wished a happy day to the men too.

Surely this is a wind up?

Good Eastern European men treat their women with more respect than seems to be the norm in the UK. I should know, I married one! He wished me a happy Women's Day this morning and added "I guess I'll be the one cooking tonight" which made us both laugh because he always does the cooking.

Ha, that’s the cynical eye I’m after.

he does work for a big corporate (as does his girlfriend who is apparently organising some IWD events) and I don’t, so he gets a pass on the question of why he’s even aware of it

You do know IWD is a massive deal in Eastern Europe.

The origins of IWD are over 100 years old, and it came out of socialist/workers' movements, which is why it's always been big in countries with a communist history, i.e. much of Eastern Europe. (Though it first started in the USA.)

OP, should you be living with someone you clearly dislike, and suspect of bad intentions? I'm surprised he answered you so politely!

It's also quite big in at least some arab countries

I do feel sorry for men at times. They try to do something nice and they are STILL in the wrong!!

How the conversation should have gone -

Flatmate: 'Happy International Women's Day'
OP: Thank you

What happened -

Flatmate: 'Happy International Women's Day'
OP (thinks to herself): 'Why is he being such a creep? He doesn't mean it. There's something suspicious here. He's a MAN. Challenge him on his motives. Be careful here, you don't know what's going on. Are you in danger? Oh yes, and better start a thread on MN too.'

OP your misandry drips through every post. And if you think there was anything humourous about either your reactionto him or your thread I can only say don't give up the day job.

I assume you are joking. How can you possibly be offended.

Why do you have a male flatmate?
I wouldn't dream of sharing a flat with a member of the opposite sex unless I was in a relationship with him.

It's the usual MN problem with men, they can't do right for doing wrong! Husbands, partners etc who don't mention it will doubtless get both barrels!

Respectfully, that is your hang-up. Other people have entirely unproblematic house shares with opposite sex people.

DH was aware because it was mentioned on radio 2 this morning and said happy IWD when he brought me a coffee in bed (which he does every morning, it wasn't a special celebratory coffee!). I actually thought it was a few days ago because there was a IWD afternoon tea at work on Thursday afternoon.

It's not a hang-up - there are clear differences between men and women even if some people pretend to ignore them.

How silly. I’ve seen loads of adverts for IWD so clearly he has too. Are you just one of those annoying people who loves to be offended at everything?

Harry Ramsden, as you seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder! Battering men all the time isn't a good look.

You never watched Man About The House?

Eh?

Can you point out where I've done that?

Or are you confusing me with the OP?