Enjoying quiet drink & elder man approaches

[IndigoBluey]

I had a much needed free and solo afternoon today. Went for a long walk in the sun, coffee, just enjoyed being by myself for once. I was keen to see the rugby score and so stopped off for a drink in a local pub by myself. I am a 34 year old woman. It was such a fun atmosphere. Until, an older guy, maybe 70 saddled up to my table and started to engage in chat. I wasn’t in the mood, I was really keen to watch the match and this was the final ten minutes. He asked a few questions and when I didn’t answer he just stood right by me where I was sat down looking and smiling. I felt really awkward and aware that others in the pub were looking now. He then asked my name and I quite directly told him I just want to watch the match. He then left in a huff. I felt a little bad after, thinking maybe I was rude and worse, he was lonely and wanted some chat but then there were other older men on their own standing at the bar so he could have chatted with them. Anyway off he went and I left after the match ended about 15 minutes later to walk home and saw him on the corner of the street five minutes along, fine as it it a small town but awkward as he clocked me. Was I rude or is it fine to say no thanks to chat to random people

Yeah, bunch of fat ugly stuck up bitches, amirite?

Exactly. I am the ulitmate people pleaser and close to this man's age. I totally can't be bothered.
I have left a singing group as I am sick of people draining the life out of me.

We’re all whores too, don’t forget.

Totally inappropriate to foist himself on you. He didn’t get the message, tough luck.

Strangers talking to others is okay depending on the situation and environment.

Sitting down next to a lone woman in a pub, half your age, inappropriate. As you said there were men in there, if it was the fact he wanted to chat to someone as he was lonely, he could have chatted to anyone of the men, but chose you!

A 70 year old man, stopping me in Tesco when I am with my 18 month old son, to chat to us both, absolutely okay and nothing weird about it.

Thank you for saying something. I'm really introverted and nothing annoys me more than when people tells these stories and commenters go 'oh it would've made his day, bet he was lonely, I've spoken to people from all walks of life and it's lovely-' okay well it's ruined my day and I'm not interested. Why do I have to pretend to be?

If I've said it before I've said it 100 times - why do the needs of the chatty get prioritised over the needs of those of us who just want to sit quietly?

Well done OP.

He has hands.

Why on earth would you put your coat on someone else's chair that they are sitting in- thats a completely bizarre, intrusive and bloody weird thing to do.

frigid whores 🤭

My grandfather was a really chatty bloke. But he wouldn’t chat to someone not in the mood for chatting. And he be able to tell because he wasn’t totally ignorant.

It's the 'be kind' conditioning biological women have. Men and men who think they are women don't have this.

Don't ignore your instincts. Men prey on women and their 'be kind' response. He was bothering you and you were correct.

Too many men think that women owe it to them to be 'nice'.

I used to go to pubs on my own a lot when I was single, mainly for gigs. I was not there to engage with other humans beyond the odd sentence. I was not there to keep some random person company. It is very obvious who wants to chat and who does not. This bloke needed to back off. I wonder if the other guys in the pub knew him and avoided him, hence he was looking for new blood. Who cares? He needed to just foxtrot oscar.

I know pubs are public and social spaces but if you go into a pub to watch a match, it's obvious that that is what you are doing. If you are watching the last quarter of a match, in a pub, you aren't going to be interested in chatting to some random, regardless of whether they are a man or woman, and it is not rude to point this out to someone trying to engage you in conversation.

I'm in my 50's and I would most likely have politely appeased, whilst silently seething that he was spoiling the match I'd paid good money to see.

I work with a woman in her 20's and her position is that it should be against the law for men to talk to women they don't know in public.

I think she is right.

Men should fuck the hell off and leave women alone. Why should we entertain them for one moment, if we don't want to?

What a rude man. He obviously thought you were one of the facilities provided by the management of the pub for the use of customers.

Was it the Spoons? When this happened to me the barman was there to help.

This was my thought exactly. He was claiming his territory! Predatory behaviour 🚩🚩🚩

Agree.

I can't believe some of the excuses rolled out for this bloke by some posters here.

The OP was sitting on her own intently watching the rugby. She wasn't looking around idly or making eye contact, she was absorbed in the match.

Entitled Grandad heads over, asks a few questions that she ignores because she's watching the match, he hovers there smiling down at her like a weirdo, then asks her name and take the hump when she says she's just there for the rugby.

He could have talked to any of the blokes in the pub but he crossed the room to get in the face of the much younger woman sitting on her own.

No decent bloke does they. It's rude, it's intrusive and it's creepy. I asked my young adult sons whether it would be OK to behave lie this in a pub and they were absolutely clear that no, that's rude and inappropriate (before @DaisyDoodler starts assuming I hate my own lads)

Good on you, @IndigoBluey for having boundaries.

Nip it in the bud. Let him sulk off. He was trying to pull. As u said he cud engage anyone else - male/lonely/ his own age in the bar if he wanted.
Don't feel bad.

You go with your gut feeling, if it feels off its off. You dont owe anyone a conversation. My instincts have served me well for years. I chat to everyone but some people are just off.

Ive reared my 3 dds with the following..
Be rude, stay alive.

And i couldnt give a flying fuck what anyone thinks amd nor do they.
It means, no i dont want a drink. No i wont drink it even though u have already boutgh it.
No i dont need a lift. No i dont care if youre going my way anyway.
No i wont engage in conversation if i dont want to.
Be rude. Stay alive.
Fuckem.

It’s 2026 and women are still being told that we owe random men our time, attention and conversation, that we owe them politeness despite them pushing our boundaries and invading our personal space, and that we shouldn’t expect to leave the house unless we are prepared to entertain said random men. Fuck that.

Wow what have I just read are you for real. the op wanted to be by herself and your basically saying she should accept randoms talking to her because you have such fun. You know quite well it’s not about sons it is about the random man invading the op space she didn’t want to talk to him did he think he had rights because she was a female by herself like op said plenty of other people there but no he goes for the younger female. He was being a cheeky fucker and he acted like a typical bloke who couldn’t get his own way. You should be telling the op she did good but no you think she was in the wrong.

He put his coat on the back of your chair??
WTAF.. 😡