Does anyone else struggle to clean and tidy their house?

[cardiG]

I have two children, work FT and also am anaemic, which I know is a factor here. But I’m really struggling to get anything done. I sit down and can’t get back up. I the procrastinate out of exhaustion and then try and get some stuff done before going to bed, which means I am up later than I should be, and the cycle repeats itself. I feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning the whole house. DH does lots, but is often away, and I hate feeling like I’m not pulling my weight.

I am currently on iron tablets, so working on the anaemia side of things, but I don’t tolerate them well, so it’s not been so easy.

Can anyone resonate and have any advice?

@ThisCyanPoet yes it does get easier when they go to secondary. Just make sure you get them to help! They can empty the dishwasher, clean and tidy their own rooms, make own packed lunches etc.

OP yanbu. I second the poster who reuses glasses to own drinks, uses the same mug all day etc. Welcome to a strong immune system (I've done stuff like this all my life and I very rarely have any illness).

I keep a cloth and spray in most rooms, just do a bit here and there when needed.

Yes!

It’s this sort of standard though applied across cleaning an entire family house that makes the cleaning completely unmanageable.

fair enough if you have the standards and time in your own house to be this fastidious. But many don’t, and it causes anxiety and feelings of guilt when they are then comparing themselves to you thinking that it’s normal for every other family to also be cleaning to this standard every day.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with rinsing a plate that’s had crisps on it and then using it for cake 😂.

It's been hard for me the last couple of years because of ill health. Partner not helpful either and doesn't even clean up after himself unless I ask.. and I find it really stressful looking around the house at the mess. I do wash up etc daily though.
I do hit one room every few days, whenever am feeling ok enough. Like today, wasn't good this morning but felt fit enough at 7pm to clean the bathroom so that's been done.

Don't know if it helps, floravital is really gentle on the tummy, I can't take iron tablets for anaemia at all. It took about 3 months, from very low levels. to get back to healthy levels on that stuff. Good luck on your recovery and you know what? Don't worry about the house, forgive yourself, get better first.

I used to find cleaning completely overwhelming in the past, and ashamed to say I let my house get a bit out of hand.

I had reached a point where I just had to ask for help to get a deep clean and tidy up done. Then once that had occurred, I keep on top of things little by little so it doesn't get out of hand again.

Example of what I do:

Daily:

• All dishes washed and put away
• Kitchen counters/table all wiped down
• Coffee table in living room wiped down
• Bleach down toilet and quick scrub

Usually takes around 10-15 mins daily

Twice a week:

• Laundry load on
• Floors downstairs hoovered and mopped (usually a Weds and Sun)

Usually takes around 20 mins

Weekly:

• Wipe down of bathroom
• Wipe down of other rooms (furniture etc)
• Change bedsheets

Usually takes around 30 mins

Monthly:

• Deep clean of bathroom
• Clean skirting boards
• Hoover upstairs

Usually takes a bit longer 1-2 hours

Every 3 months:

• Deep clean of other rooms (pull out sofas, beds etc)
• Powerhose garden

Usually takes 2-3 hours

If you break it down into tasks, it doesnt seem as overwhelming. Daily, to keep a house clean, it would only take around 10-15 mins per day. Not spotless, but tidy.

Agree. And I think when they brought out washing up liquid, cases of food poisoning went down considerably, at least that's what my mum told me. A rinse in hot water isn't anywhere near enough!

Pet hate is when someone comes over for a cuppa, then rinses their mug under the tap and placing it on the draining board - in my house! Yuck

A lot depends on finances. The basics are you dont have enough time to do your job, look after the children, make meals, clean and tidy everything, and get enough sleep.
If finances arent a struggle then reducing work hours could improve the exhaustion by allowing more time to fit everything else in. Or hiring a cleaner.
If that isnt an option, then can DH take over a bit more of the childcare on the weekend to give time to clean and tidy more then, or vice versa.

One thing to consider is that you will also be less productive if tired. You may find that going to sleep 2 hours earlier one night means you can actually get more achieved in 1 hour the following evening, compared to spending 2-3 hours struggling to do things whilst exhausted.

Every time you boil the kettle for a cuppa do something in the kitchen. Just a couple minutes at a time. Same while you are cooking you can load/unload the dishwasher/wash up between stirring a pot or checking over food.

clean the toilet and sink while you run a bath

dump buckets one for every room. Take it around and collect all the stuff for the allocated room then put in in that room to sort later if you run out of energy.

I have a robot vacuum and mop. It only does a light job so I still have to sweep up and mop after toddler eats for example but it’s life changing for hallways and the kitchen/bathroom floors.

give kids chores/make them help. Things like hanging washing and unloading dishwasher can easily be delighted. Mine have been ‘helping’ with this from around age 4. If my 9 year old pisses around the toilet floor I make him clean that up too. From age 8 other than putting the duvet cover on they were changing their own beds. Get them to pick up their own jumpers socks and shoes that seem to spread around the house!

Coverless duvets also amazing invention. I have a blanket underneath so I don’t have to wash the duvet every time.

change how you store your clothes. Hang anything that can be hung but you would normally fold. So t shirts can hang in a hanger to dry straight from the machine then into the wardrobe when dry completely skip the folding stage if laundry. Give up ironing and buy your clothes with this in mind.

Yes definitely me. Work full time, 2 snall kids, doing a degree and training for London marathon. DH is fairly helpful, though has to be nagged sometimes. I do not clean anywhere near as much as I should but O am basically permanently shattered. Would love a cleaner but would struggle to keep it tidy enough. Ideally I need a housekeeper but dont live in the right tax bracket for that sadly.

So no, you aren't the only one. My kids dont live in squalor but it could be so much better.

Its definately alot going on for you. You could probably manage well when you are OK, but if you have had a hard week then it might go off the boil for you.. making it seem unachievable.

I found the best way to manage it is to work out how to keep your house from getting more unclean from what it currently is i.e. today is the worst its going to be, and aim to keep it like that for the next 3 months.

Options are:

See what you can budget for a cleaner once a month- even just an hour a month will get your bathroom really clean and some of the kitchen.

Start thinking "don't put it down, put it away". This has really helped me stay on top of things. This is also something you can teach your kids so as they grow up it makes it all so manageable.

Work out the minimum you can do on your worst day.. .i.e dust, folding clothing etc... for how long. If you know that if you are feeling like absolute shite you can put the plates away then you won't be crushed by shame.

And the obvious one give your children regular chores start really young i.e. putting away the cutlery etc.. this will build habits later.

If you can afford it and can clear the floor, I swear by a robot hoover, I bought the Shark having seen a link for a sale price on here. I love it, I pick things off the floor and set it off in a room. My hallway always gets bad so that gets done twice a week the rest once a week... It just trundles around and then docks to empty while I lie on the sofa reading or while working in the other room. It's always lovely when just done and no bother to put it on if someone comes in with grass on their feet from the garden.
I did have a cleaner but she moved away and I couldn't find a replacement. This cost about 5 weeks of a cleaner.
Obviously I still have to do bathrooms and kitchen but as others have said I do those in little bits, clean the sink while kettle boils, clean the basin while I wash my hands, always carry things up the stairs.... Or down the stairs rather than making extra trips. I often dust while on the phone to my mum just chatting. I do the beds about every 4 weeks terrible I know! And shake and hang laundry and never iron. I even hang the washing on radiators near to where it's going so t towels always on kitchen rad, my clothes on the rads upstairs so I can walk past a radiator and fold 3 things and put them in a drawer as I pass.
If you leave the table always take something with you and don't just put things down on the side, straight in the dishwasher, one touch. Similarly I open the mail and immediately recycle the crap, envelopes etc, don't just put the stuff in a pile. One touch.
I have 3 kids and single mum and my kids take it in turns to wash up what doesn't go in the dishwasher so definitely train your kids too as mine help hang washing, empty dishwasher, mow the (small) lawn, cook or prep with me, change their beds. They never hoover or do bathrooms though. They are really independent and my son was quite shocked at uni how totally useless 3 out of 4 flatmates were!

I operate on a "see it, sort it" basis. If I see the skirting is collecting dust, I dust it right there and then.

Helps me keep on top of my house.

You may lose the drop off and pick up but the rest will remain.

I found regular decluttering was the way to go. Less is more as they say. If it hasn’t been used for 12 months, (clothes, shoes, toys, gadgets, books etc…) get rid. Clear out cupboards, wardrobes, bedrooms, etc…creating plenty of room for putting things away.

My kids are 17 and 14 and still I only have time (well actually make time) for a deep clean - which I hate doing - if they want their friends over.

At this stage, I think it only gets easier when they leave home.

She’s on iron tablets prescribed by a Dr and will be the right dose for her. Too much iron can be just as bad for you.

Sounds great but in my house that wouldn't be enough

I feel your pain. I'm following for hints

No DC but I have chronic illnesses which cause fatigue

things that help

15 min timers
cleaning while I’m talking on the phone
pottering rather than being “RIGHT let’s clean!”
if you can’t face changing the bedding, do the pillowcases and bottom sheet then duvet the next day (use a top sheet under the duvet for extra ease)
method floor cleaner - just easy to use
method shower passionfruit spray - means never having to scrub your glass shower door
cordless vacuum rather than dragging out a corded one every time
flash spray and wipe - as it says
controversial but I have packs of biodegradable wipes for ease if I’m shattered for wiping stuff
I wipe the sink with the flannel after I’ve taken my makeup off before it goes in the wash

Sure

I struggle 2
I like neat and tidy.. my husband works from home and is messy.. his mess dominates and I hate it!
He does vacuum and wash floors .. although not as regularly as I would like and cooks most meals so it’s hard to complain.
There are some jobs that provide “more band for their buck” .. cleaning windows is one.. it lets more light into a room and makes everything seem better.
i go around the house putting things away. I am also a good de-clutterer.
I wipe sink down before I go to bed so everything looks good morning.. and grit my teeth when it’s chosen after work!
i try not to bleach everywhere .. it just ends up on my clothes.. but i do bleach shower walls and floors.. stark naked after I have showered.
i pour loo cleaner down daily and wipe seats with loo cleaner and toilet paper.
i wipe bathroom sink down with towel after i have used.

This is as much as I do - although we are a big family so there is a tonne of laundry that I have to get through every day. My priorities are laundry and cooking, keeping the kitchen and bathrooms clean and then everything else as and when. I loathe housework and I am useless at it.

OP I've had quite bad anemia before and I was unknowingly shooting myself in the foot with my tea and coffee habit. No-one told me this, I found it out randomly online. The tannins in tea and coffee are the worst thing for iron absorbtion - not the caffiene. Decaff makes no difference, and tea is actually worse than coffee. I had to cut them right down and replace a lot with rooibos and herbal teas. And if you must have them, it needs to be about 2 hrs away from the time you take the iron. My absorbtion got about 50% better after this.

@SunSparkle did you find these dramaticly increased your iron levels? These seem like quite a low dose compared to the 200mg dose I'm on from the doc

I just do most of mine across the day on a Sunday. The only things that get done during the week is a kitchen wipe down and bleach in the toilets daily x

Push GP for more detailed blood test, buy Vit.D too while waiting for results.
Being Coeliac can make you feel horrendous. I thought I'm going crazy- used to fall asleep while eating. Thanks God doctor decided to add Coeliac screening to my blood tests.

I was on iron tablets, and they made minimal difference. I then asked begged my GP for an iron infusion, which they agreed (I laid it on thick about how much it effected my quality of life). It made such an incredible difference! Before I was constantly exhausted, and depressed, not wanting to do anything or be social, to now energy and happier.

Can you afford a cleaner, even if it's just once a month to do a couple of hours? Again this was very helpful for me. Mine does 2 hours a week, and I don't feel so overwhelmed so clean little & often.