Does anyone else struggle to clean and tidy their house?

[cardiG]

I have two children, work FT and also am anaemic, which I know is a factor here. But I’m really struggling to get anything done. I sit down and can’t get back up. I the procrastinate out of exhaustion and then try and get some stuff done before going to bed, which means I am up later than I should be, and the cycle repeats itself. I feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning the whole house. DH does lots, but is often away, and I hate feeling like I’m not pulling my weight.

I am currently on iron tablets, so working on the anaemia side of things, but I don’t tolerate them well, so it’s not been so easy.

Can anyone resonate and have any advice?

Yes - iron bisglycinate. It’s the only form of iron I can take without side effects. Even Spatone messes with my digestion.

My iron levels are back up but I still struggle to keep the house clean and tidy. It’s been a never ending battle for me for my entire adult life.

Of course it's a lot. That's why folk get cleaners. Working full time, cooking. Sorting out a family. It is a lot. IMHO. it's not just you.

Im in my 40’s, work full time, two kids. Job is stressful and demanding.

I am either on top of the house or it’s a tip. Can’t seem to get a middle ground. I go through periods where I sleep well, have more energy and get things done. And periods where I have no energy for anything other than work, pick ups / drop offs etc.

I find it easier to keep on top of the house when I don’t let it get dirty - doing the kitchen every night before bed for example. I get sick of the fact that I’m the only one who does it. DH does some stuff
around the house but doesn’t place the same importance on cleaning as I do.

I agree with this. It’s a lot. Never ending tbh

No and never have but I think the trick is to put it away rather than put it down and I always found a huge amount could be done in 20 minutes and do it before sitting down and barely getting my coat off.

Bathroom: keep it clean as you go. Wash around basin and bog as the bath runs, clean the bath as you dry off. Squirt of cleaner on the floor and whizz a face flannel over ot with your foot on the way out.

Kitchen: wipe tops as you go, as kettle boils, quick cloth over unit doors after you unload the dishwasher. Put everything away immediately. May create an outlay but a ceramic/induction hob is an absolute lifesaver.

Life: yours and dc's clothes out the night before, book bags, shoes, PE kit, instruments lined up in the hall the night before.

Shopping: get a delivery pass and do it on-line.

Health: invest in a couple of appointments with a specialist physician with an interest in chronic fatigue/endocrinology. Get drug titrated to make sure the combination provides optimal support: iron, B3, HRT, vitamin D, thyroid, etc. It might cost a thousand with full blood tests but worth every penny if you have it. A kindly GP might agree to run the bloods for you to take.

Posting in solidarity. Lone parent, working full time and a couple of health conditions that can wipe me out at times. No money for a cleaner. House is far below what I'd like it to be. Feel I just about manage to keep us fed and in clean clothes at the minute!

There’s a few things to unpack here for me. For reference I work part time, have one child, lazy husband, and a cleaner. I’ve also had anemia in the past.

I would say:

1)it IS a lot. Working and running a home and caring for children (clubs!? Mines not that age yet). That’s why so many people have cleaners…

2)anemia can be hideous and debilitating. Would you consider an iron infusion privately? Costs £££ but honestly changed my life. I struggled with the tablets for years but could never get my levels up enough. And was hideous on the stomach (nausea, constiparon, ugh).

3)is there a clear reason for the anemia, in which case can you look to address this also? Sorry for giving you more to do when you’re exhausted … in my case GP fitted Mirena coil which stopped my hideous periods , that was my reason for anemia

Good luck with it. Honestly anemia can affect you mentally (brain fog), not just physically. I felt like I was struggling to make decisions.

It’s so hard when you work full time. Can you reduce your hrs at all? If financially and practically you can, it might be worth considering.

Spatone can work better than iron tablets. It’s gentler on the stomach and more easily absorbed.

Can the kids help with cleaning? Do a 15 min end of day team clean. Everyone gets different tasks. We’ve got a cordless Hoover and young kids can be quite good at running that around and using the small handheld attachment for the stairs.
Also a squirty mop that kids find fun.

I was always stuck in a rut and feel like I have finally got out of it this year. However I have also managed to fix my sleep issue so now wake up feeling good, instead of bad.

This is what I did to get on top of things -
I picked the worst rooms in the house in terms of clutter and mess - utility room, boys walk in wardrobe, bathroom and sitting room. Each saturday morning, I chose one of those rooms to de-clutter and deep clean. A full hour dedicated to cleaning the room was enough. By 10am I was done. It took 4 weeks to get through the 4 rooms.

Now I do daily tasks after dinner - wipe down kitchen, do dishwasher, unload washing machine. Other jobs are left for the weekend - bathrooms, hoovering, mopping. I pick one extra task per week - last week it was hoovering all the skirting boards, this week it was extra time spent in rooms we have done diy in.

I try to do everything early in the morning when I have more energy and haven't had time to procrastinate. I finally feel like I'm getting on top of things for the first time in my life.

Agree with others saying to do micro jobs while waiting for things to happen - ie putting a wash on while the kettle is boiling or watering plants while heating up something in microwave. I give the kids bathroom upstairs a wipe over while they are taking a bath and I’m up there anyway.

toilets: squirt bleach down them every few days. It means you don’t have to clean for longer.
kitchen: fill sinks with hot water and bleach. Let it sit for 30-60 mins which lifts the stains and bacteria from the sink. Then use to wash down the kitchen, I find this easier and more thorough than spraying and rinsing cloth etc
floors: judge if a robotic hoover might work for your house. You can get one that mops as well these days
shower: rinse down with the handheld nozzle after you use it. I can’t remember when I last cleaned my shower, I just do this!

my 10 and 8 year old have been taught how to clean the bathroom and when I’m stretched I’ll pay them £5 to clean it. Toilet, sink, worktop, mirror, bath, floors, empty bin. They take ages and don’t do a perfect job but sometimes it’s worth it

Well I have none of your issues (I WFH very part time, one kid flown the other away at uni, I am type 1 diabetic but that doesn’t affect my ability to do anything) and yet I still struggle with housework. I hate it and worse have the ability to ignore what needs doing. I really only clean properly when expecting guests! I also live alone so no one else to be bothered with my slovenly ways. I used to have a cleaver at my last house which was twice as big and both kids plus two dogs at home but can’t justify it now.

Cleaner, obviously.

I thought that at first. Once perimenopause hit particularly. But after a few years, the grime builds up on the stuff that you don't bother to deep clean and then once you DO decide to do it it's much more difficult to clean. I know that little and often works as it's what I used to do, but then I had the energy for that during the week after work. Now I don't. And yes, I resent spending all my energy reserves on cleaning. DH isn't bothered either way.

So for now, we just bimble along looking at dusty skirting boards and marks on doors etc and sighing but then hardly ever doing anything about it. I keep telling myself "When I retire......" But will I have even less energy by then?! I can so see the advantages of downsizing into a flat, and not having a garden to maintain, or a garage and loft filled with crap.

If you dont like the iron tablets from GP perhaps try floradix from Holland and barret

I'm aghast at the person upthread who said that for washing dishes "some things only need rinsing". EVERYTHING needs washing in soapy water or dishwasher if it's been used for food, or touched by someone's mouth. You can always tell if you've been given a dirty glass or mug in someone's house. And it IS dirty if it's been used by someone else. Yuck.

Wait a minute. Am I misunderstanding? You use your bleachy water to lift the stains and bacteria frmo the sink and then use the SAME (now dirty) water to wash down your kitchen?!

People recommending spatone or floradix are missing the point - these are supplements. OP has anaemia, she needs proper iron. (Look at the relative iron content of supplements compared to iron tablets.)

Im a minimalist.

Nope. A knife thats been used to slice bread? Rinse under hot water

A cup thats been used for water, or even milk I did the other day, rinse under hot water

A plate thats had some crisps or sandwich on it, rinse under hot water

I use the same cup all day for tea before it goes in the dishwaster, giving it a rinse each time for a fresh cup.

These 'rules' that you quote are what drive people over the edge. No one is going to die from a rinsed plate

For me, the easiest way to keep on top of things is routine.

It's often sneered at or laughed at on MN, but if I do say, half an hour twice a day, it never builds up and it never gets to the point where it's unmanageable.

Are you also low in vitamin D?

I can definitely relate and I live in a small flat. Things I do is a daily "speed clean" where I literally spend 15 minutes tidying up. I use anti bac floor wipes to dust and clean with (probably my exec disfunction) I find even getting out a duster/ polish a bit of a barrier so just use wipes. I don't often "deep clean" and lower my standards. I think the easiest way to keep on top enough is to do little and often. When the kids are in the bath and I'm supervising ill wipe down the loo and sink and chuck some bleach down. My place is nowhere near spotless but is "clean enough"

Literally all I seem to do is clean and tidy.

One of my children in particular is just a mini tornado, charges through the house leaving utter chaos in his wake. Constantly taking the sofa cushions off and throwing them on the floor, leaving toys everywhere, leaving shoes everywhere. Bloody pain in the arse (said with affection, sort of!)

The low iron is the problem, don’t be hard on yourself for sitting down and not being able to get up. I know what it’s like, the complete and utter exhaustion of low iron.

what is your diet like - iron tablets will help but do you know why you are anemic? Are you vegetarian/ very active?

I've semi retired and only now work three days a week. On one of my days, I am gradually working my way through the house Swedish death cleaning style. Cupboards, everything in them, skirtings behind things, tops of pictures and the glass, light fittings, etc. It's very cathartic. Tomorrow I'm doing the bannisters and spindles!