Should we be paying for both brides?

[ohbaby70]

Friend getting married next year. Both women. They want a joint hen do abroad. They have asked us not to cover their costs because there are two of them. Maid of Honour wants us to pay anyway. Everyone else agrees. AIBU to think it’s a bit much? It’s an extra £100.

If it matters, there are 20 of us going and it’s for three nights in Greece.

I've done many combinations of hen parties, meals, spa days, UK weekend, weekend in Ibiza to a few nights in Vegas.

Every single bride has paid their own way.

When did it become a thing that they get a free ride?

Wow ...I went to the local zizzi... everyone paid for the food and drink they had and I paid for mine. When did it become that you pay for the bride. I felt awful I couldn't pay for everyone's meal. Id prewarned everyone and asked for no gifts just a nice meal with friends ...had over 20 and loved seeing people I cared about. Surely it's the bride paying for the hen party. It's true party. No way you should pay a penny

They've asked you not to pay. Not up to the MoH be asking people to cough up I think a grand going somewhere you have no choice in, plus time off, is enough.

Moh is a total dick for asking whe they've said no. It's not a nice gesture for her to suggest when she's asking others for money.

Agreed.

Is the wedding a "destination" wedding too?

Why on earth would you be paying for either of them anyway who the heck does that? They’ve asked you all to attend their hen party which is going to cost you money why on earth should you all pay for them when it’s their choice to get married and have a hen party! The world has literally gone bananas.

Haven’t caught up with the whole thread yet, but brides have been very clear that they understand if the cost means people can’t go, and they’ll celebrate with those people at home. I do think it’s a lot of money and I’m not yet completely sold on going.

It irritates me every time I’m asked to pay for the bride and also don't understand how it became a thing, but I’m in the minority and will now look grasping if I say no. I also agree that a joint hen/joint stag/joint hen and stag is really just a holiday, but if that’s what they want to do then that’s up to them. As I say, they’ve been very clear there’s no pressure.

Nah. Fuck that

just pay for yourself

If the bride(s) want a pre-wedding holiday with their mates, that’s their choice. It makes no sense to ask others to pay for them. It’s actually a bloody cheek

1k for 3 nights in Greece split with 20-22 other people going all paying 1k? Insanity.

£22,000 for a 3 night hen night?? Utter madness

Back out now @ohbaby70 the costs will only rise

This. Never paid for a bride.
No-one paid for me when I was a bride.
Totally ridiculous ask.

I can't get over £1000 for a 3 night stay EACH

I'm not paying that for a full week all inclusive

It’s not really a hen do if they’re both there is it? Surely they should be doing something with their respective friends/family? I realise that’s missing the point

Could you pay some of there costs? Say all their meals out plus drinks.

I'm just about fed up of people getting married and expecting people to pay an absolute fortune for the pleasure of spending the day watching them get married.

It's so unnecessary!

I’m pretty sure I paid for most of my own hen do!!!

I really detest this whole mindset of a hen do needing to a weekend or week in a foreign country. What's wrong with a good old fashioned Hen NIGHT. Why should guests be expected to fork out £00s of their own money to attend a hen week/end, let alone pay for the bride.
I absolutely agree with paying for the bride for a hen NIGHT but it's getting ridiculous.

I think this is an American tradition - I would not go to a hen weekend/week!!

Once there it’s all spa this, activity that - no thanks

Re. Not paying being homophobic - are you joking?

Jesus

OP, how about fake a pregnancy, or anxiety and regretfully have to pull out?

I wonder if the total cost is grating on you more?

There is absolutely no way I would be spending £1000 on 3 days in Greece. That's a ridiculous amount of money for a very short holiday. How much of that time will be spent travelling?

Why is it so expensive?!

I also agree re subbing the bride - I dont know when that became a thing, it's a trend that should be reversed imo.

£1000?

I did afternoon tea with 5 others and laid for iit all. Wouldn't dream of having people pay for themselves and definitely not me!

Nah, you honour them by treating them exactly the same as a heterosexual couple.