Should we be paying for both brides?

[ohbaby70]

Friend getting married next year. Both women. They want a joint hen do abroad. They have asked us not to cover their costs because there are two of them. Maid of Honour wants us to pay anyway. Everyone else agrees. AIBU to think it’s a bit much? It’s an extra £100.

If it matters, there are 20 of us going and it’s for three nights in Greece.

God I wouldn't even be going at that price let alone be contributing to pay for somebody else or in this case two somebody else's. I also don't know when paying for the hen became a thing.

Please tell me you’re joking.

I wouldn’t be paying £500-1000 to attend someone’s Hen Do. Really cheeky they want you to pay for the brides too.

I wouldn't be able to pay that for a hen do. It's a lot of money.

If I was the bride in this situation I’d hate you to cover for me! I would be so grateful that everyone was coming out to celebrate. I don’t think it’s a good idea.

I’d normally say yes, but given it’s LGBT I think you should say no and donate the £100 to a LGBT charity to show support for the community at this time.

I think it's fine covering the cost of a bride's meal if the hen consisted of going out for a meal at a local restaurant (as long as not Michelin star type place) but you shouldn't be covering the costs of a holiday

I went on a hen do a couple of years ago where we covered the cost of travel, hotel, event ticket, brunch and meal the first night.
at first I was a bit, what?!
but actually, between us all it wasn’t that expensive, and it’s nice to make a fuss of people.
£100 wouldn’t be a make or break cost for me with regards to going somewhere, so I’d happily pay it.

@ticketwoes on top of the £1000? I'd pay £100 for a hen do but not £1,000

WTF?!

£1k for 3 nights in Greece? How?

But the couple have already said they want to pay for themselves.

Signed, a woman who's been in a same sex civil partnership for 20 years...

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah.
As in, if I went away somewhere annually and it cost me £1000, but then the next year cost me £1100, I’d still go.
So if I’d happily pay £1000, I wouldn’t draw the line at an extra £100.

£100 to treat your two friends to a celebratory holiday when you’ve all ready been happy to pay £1000 seems fair enough imo. I would happily pay, but then in my group we always cover the bride on their hens and I don’t balk at the audacity of an invitation like most of mumsnet so…

Where should I send your 100 quid cheque to show support? You could make a mint here…

Okay well that’s irrelevant. If you have planned to go to Greece with friends it’s not going to cost £100.

If it were me then I'd feel obliged to pay it, but I don't really think you should have to. It's fair to cover when it's a day/evening, but you're already spending £1000. It's not like you're paying £100 and then chipping in a tenner to cover the bride. They've chosen to have 3 nights abroad so the fair thing in my opinion would be to contribute maybe £20. You're essentially paying for their holiday.

"At this time?" What ARE you on about? Speaking as one of the L, we're good, thanks.

But they are all friends. How can you have such black and white thinking?. Pay for them or you’re a bigot ? Is there no grey area in between?

You could cover half their costs, or put extra towards the wedding gift. But if they have said not to pay, don't pay.

Much obliged!

There are some very entitled (or rich) brides that expect people to pay £1,000.

@ohbaby70 is the wedding abroad too, going to be expensive?