Should we be paying for both brides?

[ohbaby70]

Friend getting married next year. Both women. They want a joint hen do abroad. They have asked us not to cover their costs because there are two of them. Maid of Honour wants us to pay anyway. Everyone else agrees. AIBU to think it’s a bit much? It’s an extra £100.

If it matters, there are 20 of us going and it’s for three nights in Greece.

Absolutely insane comment.

So two lesbians get special treatment? That is just a form of positive discrimination.

Gay or not, I would tell this upstart of a maid of honour to jog on!

There is nothing worse than a letchy Maid of Honour who is like a boil on your arse that you can't quite get rid of.

Everytime you open your whatsapp, there is another daily dump from them with a "Hi ladies...." scrounging for money.

That is a whole big barrel of Nope from me.

O M G!!!!! that's beyond...

Brides, cannot think this sort of outlay is reasonable for their hens, surely?

Unless you're all minted ofc 👰

What? 🤨 She is going to their hen, and their wedding and is their friend! She doesn’t need to fork out money to “show support.” The brides aren’t a charity.

£1,000 😮
So glad in my day it was a meal and drinks!

So all pay £50 x 20 and that’s the partner paid for

and you are all paying for the bride a swell so another £50

on top of the £1000 that you are paying for yourself ?

when did people stay paying for hens ?

no one paid for me and I wouldn’t expect them to

so they both save £2000 - 1000 each and get a free mini break (hen do)

I wouldn’t be happy doing this

slightly diff if afternoon tea and £35 but paying £2000 for them both seems cheeky

WTAF!

I love Hen Do and Hen do abroad, but even for me that's expensive 😂

If you are paying that, I am not sure how £50 would make any difference.

I love a hen do, have been on loads and paying for the hen has never happened.

What has this got to do with someone’s sexually orientation.

It’s actually a bigoted comment, they’re gay so let's treat them differently.

I thought Hen / Stag do were so that one party to the wedding had an event (meal, holiday, whatever) with their best mates, way from their other half.

How does it work if both halves go on the same holiday?

This has given me a smile on a rainy miserable Friday afternoon.
You're close enough friends to pay £1k to go to their hen weekend abroad, presumably will be there at their big gay wedding. But are worried they might think you're homophonic if you don't pay £100 towards their hen? Do they not actually know you very well?

£ 1000 for 3 days x 20 people = £20000 for a hen do.

Cant be serious?

1000 pound 3 nights in Greece? I wouldn't be going. An extra 10% to cover the brides? Is a nice gesture. Doing that because the maid of honor is bossing around where the brides already say no? I would ask her to cover my 100 quid. No because is too much money, because the brides already said no to cover their expenses and she is no one to go against the brides wishes.

Madness on many counts, at this time.

What are you on?
If they were homophobic they wouldn't be going on a hen do with two brides.

A GRAND??? That’s ridiculous. I had a curry night and a clubbing night. Weddings have got way out of hand.

No you shouldn’t pay for the hens. They’ve said not to, and you’re paying plenty already.

£1k is crazy for a hen do. Anything over £200 or using my limited annual leave would mean I’d be declining attending, never mind paying another £100

There is always spends on top, then a wedding gift

They've said not to pay for them. I would accept that. It's already pretty expensive for people to attend.

How on earth have they managed to make 3 nights in Greece cost £1000? That's crazy money.

For God's sake why? Obviously they are all friends so supportive already. No need for virtue signalling bollocks.
And how do know whether the op is gay or not?

This thread and the at this time madness is absolutely hilarious, I haven't laughed out loud at Mumsnet for ages.

I hope nobody thinks I'm homophobic.

The moh is a twat. Who is she to instruct generosity from other people especially as it's against the brides wishes?

I remember one of our friends got married, about ten years after the rest of the group. We set up a WhatsApp group without her and were discussing what to do for a present, give separately or as a group. Two hundred per couple / one hundred per single is the norm here. One big bossy boots came in saying we really needed to 'give a bit more as this bride is so special... One hundred per person was the absolute least anyone gave us for ours and that was nearly twenty years ago" FRO - I assume by special she meant older which is as ridiculous as having to pay extra because they are gay. Also I was one of the misers who gifted 100 euro to her wedding so I didn't appreciate that remark. I said she could go ahead and pay extra, I'd just do my own gift.

I can't believe anyone thinks that's a reasonable use of £20k.

Sorry three nights in Greece and it’s £1000 each - that’s obscene