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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for your ideas to take petty revenges on an uninvited guest?

410 replies

guestsareinvited · 06/03/2026 13:18

Because of boring and longwinded reasons, I can't currently prevent this person from coming to stay with me whenever they like. But I don't have to treat them like a guest, because guests are invited. I have plans in place to renounce this obviously terrible arrangement as soon as possible, but in the meantime I am relieving my frustrations by plotting small, petty revenge's that aren't unreasonable.

(They have a lovey home of their own, and don't really want to stay here. They are choosing to be here specifically because they know I don't want them and to make the point that they still can. It's silly and childish and I didn't choose it. They did, and are also deliberately prolonging the situation. There's nothing to do but laugh about it, and this is intended to be in jest. Although I can't promise I won't put one or two into practice if there are good suggestions.....)

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 06/03/2026 18:23

Time to move out OP, be it rent or buy own property elsewhere...

Swiftie1878 · 06/03/2026 18:24

Get out of there. She’s a manipulative control freak.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/03/2026 18:28
  1. Hard pillow
  2. 4 tog duvet in winter, 13 tog duvet in summer
  3. Dead daffodils in a vase in the bedroom that you 'forgot' to remove (they stink)
  4. Clock with a loud tick, screwed to the wall so they can't remove it
  5. 'Run out' of teabags / coffee / sugar / milk - or whatever you anticipate they'll want/need
  6. Scratchy towels in the bathroom (I always have old towels that have been retired but kept for DIY-type use)
  7. Remove blackout lining from curtains
  8. Turn the heating off - you're economising / saving the planet
  9. Hide the loo roll
  10. Change the radio channel to e.g. drum&base / classical / cricket - whatever you think will grate most
Eufyon · 06/03/2026 18:32

You rent it? So just… rent somewhere else? Unless she’s charging you peppercorn rent and that’s allowing you to save loads towards next purchase

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/03/2026 18:34

Oof, cross-posted. That's pretty terrible of her, and I would be enjoying myself enormously house-hunting. Maybe leave some estate agent details on a table, for houses £200k - £300k.

MmeWorthington · 06/03/2026 18:37

OP - what a nightmare.

Do you need to wait for your DD’s results before you know where you need to live?

Could you get 2 local EAs to come and value it? Not sure if you have to prove you own it. But ultimately she is playing games. If she really wanted to sell she would do that.

Can you tell her you need a quiet house while Dd revises and does exams?

Personally I wouldn’t move now, as your Dd gears up and is revising.

Venting is good. You have your house money in the bank so are a cash buyer. Deep breaths.

Ohfuckrucksack · 06/03/2026 18:51

I would not find this funny.

I would not pay rent whilst she is doing this.

AcrossthePond55 · 06/03/2026 18:53

@guestsareinvited

Perhaps contact an estate agent and have them do an actual valuation so there's none of this 'friend of a friend said'. Then present it to her as a solid offer. If she reneges then say "Well Mum, it's obvious you aren't serious about selling so let's never mention it again. We'll start looking for a new home as soon as GCSEs are over". Perhaps she'll finally put up or shut up.

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:09

Why not just buy another house and move out?

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:09

Happyjoe · 06/03/2026 18:23

Time to move out OP, be it rent or buy own property elsewhere...

This would be the obvious answer?

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:10

Eufyon · 06/03/2026 18:32

You rent it? So just… rent somewhere else? Unless she’s charging you peppercorn rent and that’s allowing you to save loads towards next purchase

This ⬆️

Eufyon · 06/03/2026 19:13

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:09

This would be the obvious answer?

Show quote history

It is blindingly obvious

so I suspect the “rent” is peanuts

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:14

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 15:52

Oooh a little quip 🤭

How long have you been practising that and dying to use it?

Show quote history

Since I read your post? Why, does it usually take you a while to aim and fire?

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 19:17

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:14

Since I read your post? Why, does it usually take you a while to aim and fire?

Show quote history

You 'fired' no more than a little dribble from your water pistol.

But great that it made you excited to do so.

Summerhut2025 · 06/03/2026 19:19

guestsareinvited · 06/03/2026 18:15

It's very tedious.

It's my mother. She owns the house, I rent it. I pay the bills.

She offered me the house so I could sell mine in September because we had a great cash offer, but I didn't know where DD would be post 16. She lives in Europe and was already planning to rent it out properly (or so she said). After I committed to selling mine, and had part moved, she then announced she would be keeping a room and proceeded to come and stay repeatedly for long periods without asking or even informing me. If she had been open about it being effectively a house share, I would have never have agreed. She used to come here for four days every six weeks which would have been tolerable. Now she is here every two weeks, and for weeks at a time. She is evasive over when she is coming or (even worse) going. She makes no contribution to household bills or chores. She repeatedly tells me it's my home, while treating it as her home. It feels very draining the way she keeps dangling the possibility of selling and almost gloating in her ownership power.

She says that she wants to sell the house, so I have offered to buy it, in cash, for full market value. She agrees, provided I match hypothetical offers then....doesn't gather any offers, won't give any valuation figures and the price she muses on varies wildly. Two weeks ago she said she would be delighted to get £250k for it. I need to liquidise more assets for that, so I checked my figures and agreed yesterday. Suddenly, a friend of a friend has told her it should be a minimum of £400k, snd we're back to matching hypothetical offers that she doesn't have. She clearly doesn't want to sell or rent, probably at all, certainly not to me. That's all completely fine, it's her house, she wasn't obliged to offer it me. I didn't ask or in any way expect her to. She only has to say so and stop all this dicking about.

I know she can't legally come and go as she pleases, but obviously I also can't just change the locks. I'm not prepared to pursue a legal route against my own mother anyway, it's not worth it. I'm looking at other houses now. As soon as my daughter finishes her GCSE's, we will be out and she can go back to Europe and do whatever she likes with it. Probably nothing.

There is nothing to do but laugh at her in the meantime. I bear her no real malice, but I am beyond tired of being kept dangling. I won't ACTUALLY put dead mice in her bed. But plotting to makes me feel better about having to put up with sharing a house with her being quite unreasonable in a situation she deliberately arranged to suit herself, apparently isn't comfortable with and won't change.

I wouldn’t be buying her home and I would buy another one pronto and move out asap.

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:21

Summerhut2025 · 06/03/2026 19:19

I wouldn’t be buying her home and I would buy another one pronto and move out asap.

Show quote history

Same here. Or rent somewhere temporarily.

TheMorgenmuffel · 06/03/2026 19:23

You should tell her very bluntly that you are sick of this being dangled over your head so no matter what, you won't be buying it and you are looking for a home to move into that she can't claim any right to be in.

PloddingAlong21 · 06/03/2026 19:30

Rent somewhere else and take your life back? Tell her you can’t have her appearing and disrupting your life every two weeks.

MrsAnon6 · 06/03/2026 19:47

She sounds very controlling and like she’s enjoying having the upper hand. I’d leave as soon as possible as she’s not going to get better.

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

Bigearringsbigsmile · 06/03/2026 13:22

Give them the shittest thin pillow possible.

Turn the heating up either uncomfortably hot or down too cold.
Run out of tea and coffee. Hide all the spoons.
Set the Google mini to have an alarm go off every thirty minutes day and night.
Change the WiFi password.

I actually week out thin pillows....can't sleep on thick ones 🤣

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

I actually week out thin pillows....can't sleep on thick ones 🤣

Show quote history

I actually SEEK out thin pillows....

OneNewEagle · 06/03/2026 19:52

You tell her the figure you are willing to pay. If she declines, as she will, you find another home and buy it and move out. She is then stuck trying to sale an empty house with no rent coming in.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/03/2026 19:57

I was guessing family /mum and seems I’m right

why not just rent a different house

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:58

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 19:17

You 'fired' no more than a little dribble from your water pistol.

But great that it made you excited to do so.

Show quote history

Ah, you’re a man.

SilverPink · 06/03/2026 19:59

Buy some class As and hide them in her suitcase for her next trip back to Europe….