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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Member968405 · 06/03/2026 10:37

I found your post really illuminating OP. I understand about the exploitation and the hidden abuses the whole ‘magical world’ is built on.

are you able to explain a bit more though about why living there specifically damaged your mental health?

glitterpaperchain · 06/03/2026 10:38

Agree. There have been a couple of threads recently about wealth taxes, with people who earn a lot (or whose husband earns a lot) saying they have plans to move to Dubai. To avoid more taxes, or to avoid current taxes. Turns out, it's worth paying taxes to live somewhere more politically safe. Don't worry though, we'll spend tax money on getting them out safely...

Lougle · 06/03/2026 10:40

@surelycantjustbeme "Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view."

Do you realise how many nurses in the UK are doing exactly as you describe? They have come over from the Philippines, sharing a house, often a room, earning their money and sending it home, where Auntie or Granny looks after their child. There's a massive responsibility for children to help their elders in the Philippines. They will go where they need to go to earn money.

vitahelp · 06/03/2026 10:42

I hadn’t given it a lot of thought until this week, but seeing influencers who are holidaying there sharing gushing statements about how safe it feels there and how well UAE is handling the conflict is very odd and gives a scared prisoner vibe (think victim of domestic violence repeatedly talking about how wonderful their husband is).

User567573 · 06/03/2026 10:44

Hedeghogsandguineapigs · 06/03/2026 10:25

Not Dubai especially, but just the idea that if you dislike anything on Mumsnet, you must be jealous. Especially Range Rovers.

Or the WLI people who look like corpses and 10 years older than their age, but are utterly, absolutely convinced that anyone claiming they might be overdoing it a bit are all jealous haters 😂

Usernamenotfound1 · 06/03/2026 10:49

Lougle · 06/03/2026 10:40

@surelycantjustbeme "Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view."

Do you realise how many nurses in the UK are doing exactly as you describe? They have come over from the Philippines, sharing a house, often a room, earning their money and sending it home, where Auntie or Granny looks after their child. There's a massive responsibility for children to help their elders in the Philippines. They will go where they need to go to earn money.

Like I said upthread though- uk nurses have a choice. They don’t have their passports held by their employers, their hours, wages, how they are paid, are set by a national standard. They can control their wages and decide how much they pay in rent, food, how much they send home.

they are paid and treated the same as uk nurses. They aren’t given “lesser” jobs like cleaning and cooking for their white employers.

if they aren’t happy and want to return home they can. They do not have to wait until their employers leave the country and take them with them to work while their employers vacation, so they can abscond and seek asylum.

paloma7 · 06/03/2026 10:51

OP, it's just one city in the world and a hub airport. I've connected flights there many times, but never felt the need to stop or visit. Looks boring to me. Nobody has to go there at all. Who cares about these influencers, whoever they are? Just turn them off

CleanOurWater · 06/03/2026 10:53

vitahelp · 06/03/2026 10:42

I hadn’t given it a lot of thought until this week, but seeing influencers who are holidaying there sharing gushing statements about how safe it feels there and how well UAE is handling the conflict is very odd and gives a scared prisoner vibe (think victim of domestic violence repeatedly talking about how wonderful their husband is).

Yes exactly that. Same vibes.
Or a North Korean gushing about their supreme leader.

JasmineMac · 06/03/2026 10:56

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

'Dubai is a man made hell hole' would've sufficed.

Wolverhamptonwanderer · 06/03/2026 11:01

AtIusvue · 06/03/2026 10:32

Well, unlike yourself OP, I think most people in Dubai know what they are getting when they go over there. Regardless of what job they are travelling for.

People have been travelling there for decades now, we all know what it’s like…the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s why the overwhelming vast majority of people would never move there.

I seriously don’t get why you’re upset over it. It’s a place where they are brazenly open about money, it’s gauche, it’s tacky but at least in that sense it’s honest. Here in the UK, class and money matters, yet we try and convince ourselves that it doesn’t. So who are the deluded ones?

Edited

It isn't honest though. All the stuff they're photographed with is hired by the hour. That's not honest.

Araminta1003 · 06/03/2026 11:02

Your story is just one story, one person’s narrative. There will be others like you, but there will also be many others with a completely different experience.
Same with the Indian workers and the Filipino nannies, every human has their own story and perspective on things and a unique experience.

The reason you are going to get a hard time on MN right now is because most of us are not idiots. We know the Iranian and Russian bots are out in full force trying to portray on all forms of social media (including MN) that the Brits do not like Dubai. Which is not true, and hence why almost 300k Brits are there and we are on the side of Dubai in this conflict.
So frankly most of us just do not take any of the Dubai posts at face value.

Arraminta · 06/03/2026 11:04

It's certainly not jealousy with me. I have more than enough money, thanks. And infact I would pay good money to not go to Dubai. Clearly it's brimming with the very type of person that I actively avoid mixing with.

HolidayHideaway · 06/03/2026 11:06

I’ve seen recent similar spite aimed at anyone working overseas, especially if headed to tax havens. Not everyone is a shallow, noisy influencer. I hadn’t realised how unhappy some are in the UK as otherwise why not scroll on by if others bother you or dwell so much, hate watch, etc (?)

Quine0nline · 06/03/2026 11:07

It must been similar when we had colonies. Some people will have been sent - military families. Some chose to better themselves in a better climate, some were failures in the UK but could be "top dog" elsewhere.

Was there a similar feeling towards these returnees when colonies gained independence?

FloofBunny · 06/03/2026 11:09

It was an amazing place to live until last week! 😄

During the Troubles, I wonder if people in other European countries looked at us and said how glad they were not to be here and have to think about bombs in stations, pubs, shopping centres, and hotels.

It's not easy to move countries and most people don't get the chance, so I can understand grabbing the chance to have that experience. And Dubai is usually very safe. This is all Trump's doing. It's not due to ME instability at all - it's all down to an American despot.

Hope everyone is safe and I hope they soon get to resume their sunny tax-free existences soon. I never got to live there but am nothing but happy for those who got to have that experience.

FOJN · 06/03/2026 11:10

We obviously view very different content because I'm not seeing any of this.

MarianofSherwood · 06/03/2026 11:15

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It's not Dubai.. It's you. Bitter grapes OP. You tried and it didnt quite work out for you. The above paragraph sums up how most filipino women think when they go and work in Dubai. They have the same intentions as you did. They too go " with good intentions to work hard, save, go home", and many do manage this. I'd say a lot of care workers and nurses who come to the UK are similar. You seem jealous and bitter about the high life some expats in Dubai live. Those who actually "make it" there. If watching influencers triggers you, then dont watch them. I wish you peace of mind OP.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:17

Among all the predictable “you’re just jealous and bitter” replies, there have also been a few thoughtful points that I’ll genuinely take on board.

I have three children to think about, so I know my anxiety can be heightened by my own lived experiences, but my frustration is real.

The influencers I’m referring to feel genuinely dangerous to me. They use lies and false pretences to lure people in, and the timing of their latest brag is, frankly, vile. For those of us in the UK who are genuinely concerned, it’s worrying.

I’ve had some of my posts deleted by Mumsnet, but I’ve said nothing false or inappropriate. My experience is valid, and so is my frustration. I’m simply sharing my perspective based on what I’ve seen and learned, so being shut down for that is odd.

OP posts:
surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:19

MarianofSherwood · 06/03/2026 11:15

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It's not Dubai.. It's you. Bitter grapes OP. You tried and it didnt quite work out for you. The above paragraph sums up how most filipino women think when they go and work in Dubai. They have the same intentions as you did. They too go " with good intentions to work hard, save, go home", and many do manage this. I'd say a lot of care workers and nurses who come to the UK are similar. You seem jealous and bitter about the high life some expats in Dubai live. Those who actually "make it" there. If watching influencers triggers you, then dont watch them. I wish you peace of mind OP.

Hi @MarianofSherwood do you have experience of living in Dubai?

OP posts:
Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 06/03/2026 11:20

I don’t really care. I do find the vast majority of ex pats insufferable though. Bleating on about how much better it is to live in x county. Then the minute it all goes pear shaped running back here. Wanting to use the NHS for free etc.
I will say that I do not want the uk tax payers to pay any costs in getting people out of Dubai.
Likewise I do not agree with anyone who leaves being able to access any free benefits once they return back to the uk. If you have stopped paying into the system then you should not benefit from it.

Jumpingthruhoops · 06/03/2026 11:23

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 08:11

The vitriol is aimed at influencers who have no idea what life there is really like.

Dismissing my negative experience is no different from silencing a Filipino nanny or an Indian worker for speaking about their own reality. Everyone’s perspective is shaped by their lived experience, and mine is just as valid as theirs. You need to educate yourself.

My response was in agreement with another poster based on what I had seen on social media. As others have said, you might need to adjust your algorithm.

LlynTegid · 06/03/2026 11:24

I wonder what support there would be for those who move there not having the right to vote in UK elections any more.

ponderings123 · 06/03/2026 11:24

I wouldn't even have a lay over in Dubai. You can be arrested for the most inane things, like dancing in the street or sending a Whatsapp with a swear word in it. No thanks. I fly East next week and next year. I'll be travelling to an airport 5-7 hours from home (Manchester/London) in order to fly direct. I could fly from my local airport, which is only 15 minutes away, but I would have to have a lay over in the Middle East. Not doing it.

milveycrohn · 06/03/2026 11:26

As I do not follow 'influences' in Dubai, I am not aware of all the stuff they say.
So I suggest you don't follow them.
Expats who live there will be living there for a variety of reasons, and not all will be 'influencer' roles.
I personally do not judge them

EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 11:27

@surelycantjustbeme you sound absolutely furious

But you are admitting that you didn't research properly about the financial situation before you went and you got into debt

You are writing - as many people do online - in a way that implies there are terrible deep dark things happening there that we don't know about and we should know about. And you are angry with influencers.

If I watched an influencer video of London, I'd probably think it was great. In reality, I fucking hate it. What's the difference?

Everywhere has horrible deep dark things going on beneath the surface.

Is there something specific that you want to say? You're saying people should do their own research, but you're also admitting that it's very hard to do. I wouldn't have a clue what life is like over there. I knew two people who went, one came back and one decided to stay. That was ages ago though.

if something has happened to you, I am very sorry. But arguing online is unlikely to help, unless that's your therapy. I suppose that's quite possible.

I could exist in a permanent state of fury about the state of London and other places in this country. I try not to. I have no impact on what will happen and it certainly won't help me.

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