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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
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5
Wiresring · 06/03/2026 09:50

FFS, presumably as a result of this thread, my feed is now full of Dubai influencers, which I've never seen before.

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 09:51

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 09:43

I’ll admit, your comment made me chuckle.

I’m sure I don’t have to explain that those “lured” are often expatriates seeking high-paying jobs, are enticed to move to Dubai with overly rosy promises of wealth, luxury, and easy living, but are then faced with harsh realities like sky-high costs, debt traps, isolation, and exploitative work conditions.

But that’s the point: the promises are overly rosy. It’s not that difficult to keep oneself informed and to know that while Dubai might promise high salaries, luxury and easy living, it’s built on exploitation, corruption and fakery. Many of us know that without needing to live there or holiday there. I absolutely would not go there - which doesn’t mean I’m uninformed and ignorant of what goes on there. It’s precisely because I am informed that I wouldn’t do what you did.

YelloyellowBlue · 06/03/2026 09:51

@surelycantjustbeme id agree here - i know of people (poor village people from asian countries) who have gone there for work, their passports been taken away, then they have been raped and abused. I know because ive seen these people on their return (where they were able to somehow get in touch with an embassy and fly home, a shell of what they once were). People go there for a better life and yes, if you are white, you'll get the benefits, but beneath all this, there is horrors you cant imagine

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 09:56

Naunet · 06/03/2026 09:28

But the problem is, we know you're not allowed to say anything bad about your government, so how can we trust anything you say about it?

Well (1) I'm on an anonymous internet forum and the UAE government doesn't have any jurisdiction over mumsnet and can't force mumsnet to release my details to them so why would I would lie, (2) I am not sure quite how controlled you think the media is here, but I suspect images of mass panic would have made it out, and (3) my entire post is about why at the moment the UAE government is cracking down hard on any negative statements - it's not like I'm denying it!

Also because anyone with even the most incidental experience of a panicking population (including panic buying) knows that is a major risk to public safety.

GhoulsJustWannaaHaveFun · 06/03/2026 09:56

Notmyreality · 06/03/2026 06:57

Mostly we’re all just sick to death of endless posts on MN about Dubai.

100%

And sick of people bleating about influencers.

I wouldn't know an influencer if they bit me on the arse, so it's perfectly easy to live life without them 🙄

PensionMention · 06/03/2026 09:59

My algorithms have never featured Dubai, how about looking at an actual newsite instead of social media.

My family lived overseas before I was born in South Africa, one of my older sisters was born there, various awful things happened. Mother threatened with arrest as she let her black maid sit in the front of her car, her finding a man with his hands chopped off in the street and a girl kidnapped and raped in my sisters class, getting caught in a riot and her car surrounded was the final straw, they came back to the UK. It annoyed her then husband as their lifestyle was amazing. She actually married three times and divorced twice which was unusual back in the 50/60’s

She was still annoyed about apartheid, which obviosuly was an awful thing. She would not buy cape grapes and argued with a bemused grocer in the little seaside town we grew up in. She remained a champion for right versus wrong which seems admirable but it drove her a bit crackers if I’m honest. She was also selective with her anger. Your level of anger reminds me a bit of her.

So I’m just writing be aware of your mind getting subsumed especially these days with constant 24 hours information and opinion and that’s what a lot of ‘news’ is these days just opinion from unstructured minds that lack critical thinking skills.

JTRSOP · 06/03/2026 09:59

whatcanthematterbe81 · 06/03/2026 06:55

I’m a bit jealous 😂

Of what though? I’ve never really understood the appeal to be honest 😂

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 10:00

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 06/03/2026 07:17

You need to get off social media or delete your cookies and refresh your algorithm.

”We” are not all being bombarded with this rhetoric.

This. I genuinely never see ANYTHING from "influencers"

GhoulsJustWannaaHaveFun · 06/03/2026 10:03

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 10:00

This. I genuinely never see ANYTHING from "influencers"

It reminds me of when MNetters used to read the Daily Mail and then start threads complaining about the Daily Mail...

BoredZelda · 06/03/2026 10:09

I’m very dubious about the “safe” image projected by Dubai. Given how they treat women and the foreign labour they import to build the city and keep it operating, I suspect a whole load of crime goes unreported or unrecorded. When my Dad worked in the Middle East, it was made pretty clear to him that in most situations he would be blamed for any crime he was a victim of (“wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t here in our country”). I would bet my house that sexual assaults are woefully underreported.

Wolverhamptonwanderer · 06/03/2026 10:20

mrbluebirdonmyshoulder · 06/03/2026 07:20

I'm also stunned at the amount of repressed hatred there is towards Dubai influlencers.

OP - I have to ask - did you compose that original post yourself?

I don't think it's resentment about how they choose to live their lives. That's fine, individual freedom of choice etc.

What is a problem, however, is the cynical and duplicitous way they are paid to slag off the UK and promote how "safe" Dubai is. The UAE government are literally paying influencers to go out and say this stuff. It's all a shill, an industry literally based on sand. You know all those boats, and helicopters that these influencers are photographed with are hired by the hour? They don't have access to half the stuff they portray. It's all lies, and I don't think it's wrong that people have a problem with that.

hedgheog · 06/03/2026 10:20

Sick of chatgpt posts that’s for sure.

Charel2 · 06/03/2026 10:21

surelycantjustbeme
Your post is one of the best I've ever read! I lived there too and felt exactly the same - it's one big fake, selfish world. I couldn't wait to leave and would never in a million years go back. You expressed yourself so eloquently and I really reading your thoughts.

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 10:21

My parents changed flights in Dubai en route to Australia in the late 1980s and commented on how tiny the airport was (just one main terminal, with mostly regional traffic and a handful of gates), on the edge of a desert, no glittering city skyline.

It's hard to believe how it's become what it is now.

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 10:25

PeonyPatch · 06/03/2026 07:23

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

bang on… also, you write so well!!

I think this is why there are such strong emotions about the current flashpoint. For many people, Dubai lavishly represents all the empty fakery of the modern consumer/influencer culture.

Hedeghogsandguineapigs · 06/03/2026 10:25

Not Dubai especially, but just the idea that if you dislike anything on Mumsnet, you must be jealous. Especially Range Rovers.

tokennamechange · 06/03/2026 10:26

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:12

And we’re sick of the constant, ‘Haha, look at us, we don’t have to live in the UK anymore! Check out my view. Look how amazing our government is at intercepting bombs unlike the useless and unsafe UK. We know our government is terrible, which only adds to our anxiety.

If you’re an expat out there, caught in the middle of all this tension, I’m surprised you’re not tired of those influencers too. Some people are showing genuine concern about a global crisis, while they’re still busy flexing for clicks.

But surely those of us who have no knowledge of or interest in dubai "influencers" are sticking it to them better than someone like you who is hate-watching their content, referring to it on other social media forums like MN (and thus directing other people who otherwise might never have been aware of it) and thus driving up more hits and engagement for them -which is exactly what they want!

Come on OP, they're rage baiting and you're playing exactly into their hands.

If you really are "sick of them" unfollow them, watch a load of cute animal or Bridgerton or booktok or cooking reels (or whatever you are into) to recalibrate your algorithm and don't spare them another thought. That will hit them where it hurts -in the wallet.

They're only posting because people keep watching!

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 10:27

Wolverhamptonwanderer · 06/03/2026 10:20

I don't think it's resentment about how they choose to live their lives. That's fine, individual freedom of choice etc.

What is a problem, however, is the cynical and duplicitous way they are paid to slag off the UK and promote how "safe" Dubai is. The UAE government are literally paying influencers to go out and say this stuff. It's all a shill, an industry literally based on sand. You know all those boats, and helicopters that these influencers are photographed with are hired by the hour? They don't have access to half the stuff they portray. It's all lies, and I don't think it's wrong that people have a problem with that.

Yes I think that's it. The "slagging off" of UK as justification for going. If it's so great, just go, there's no need to argue the UK is dreadful. Plus the tax thing, and wanting government help now, at the same time as slating (and being unprepared to pay to help) those who need it at home.

PeonyPatch · 06/03/2026 10:28

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 10:25

I think this is why there are such strong emotions about the current flashpoint. For many people, Dubai lavishly represents all the empty fakery of the modern consumer/influencer culture.

Oh absolutely

CleanOurWater · 06/03/2026 10:29

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 10:25

I think this is why there are such strong emotions about the current flashpoint. For many people, Dubai lavishly represents all the empty fakery of the modern consumer/influencer culture.

Exactly this. It reminds me of a JG Ballard novel. Glitter with a really sinister underbelly. Exemplified by the influencers determinedly posting that everything is all fine . There have been a few newspaper articles about the level of control exerted over social media and influencers in Dubai and it's been eye opening to me

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 10:31

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

Ah. So that explains it. A more successful personal experience might have led to you holding an entirely different, less vitriolic viewpoint.

I have little interest in influencers, but they are not 'tax dodgers.' I keep hearing all these British expats living in the gulf described as tax dodgers. It's unfair and inaccurate. You can only dodge income tax if you earn your living in a place where you should be paying it. They live in a country where they aren't required to pay it, so no dodging required. Although other things are taxed very heavily in the gulf states for expat communities, not the locals, they receive subsidies for everything. But expats will pay way over the odds for day to day living in other ways. Apart from domestic labour and petrol, nothing else is cheap compared to the UK. You'll pay 8 quid for a cauliflower or a punnet of strawberries sometimes.

There are plenty of tax dodgers living among us here in the UK. It might be better to focus on them, rather than haranguing people who have simply moved somewhere else?

Also all these people very angry about them getting help from the British Embassy to evacuate, well that's the deal that comes with citizenship. Whether you pay tax to the UK or not doesn't come into the equation. Should we remove the right to help for every expat in every part of the world and only help British citizens who actaully live and work in the UK and pay taxes there? Maybe. But while we don't, we can't decide who is deserving and the undeserving of help when it comes to the basic rights of citizenship, purely based on how we feel about how they earn their living.

Should we help to repatriate a British woman who married a Ukrainian and moved there before that war broke out? After all, she's not paying any tax in the UK either, is she? What about missionaries in Africa? Teachers and doctors and people working for NGOs? What about all the Indians, Nigerians, Pakistanis, Somalis, Bangladeshis etc who have acquired British citizenship along the way but prefer to spend much of their time back in the mother country, where they can now afford to live the life of Reilly while they sublet their council house, just nipping back to use the NHS when they need it?

For many, citizenship (especially dual citizenship) is a often seen as nothing more than a safety net, an insurance policy to to keep in your back pocket. A convenience. It comes with certain benefits and we don't pick over who deserves those benefits and who doesn't.

AtIusvue · 06/03/2026 10:32

Well, unlike yourself OP, I think most people in Dubai know what they are getting when they go over there. Regardless of what job they are travelling for.

People have been travelling there for decades now, we all know what it’s like…the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s why the overwhelming vast majority of people would never move there.

I seriously don’t get why you’re upset over it. It’s a place where they are brazenly open about money, it’s gauche, it’s tacky but at least in that sense it’s honest. Here in the UK, class and money matters, yet we try and convince ourselves that it doesn’t. So who are the deluded ones?

sashh · 06/03/2026 10:33

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/03/2026 07:22

I have no desire to live in Dubai and agree that its tacky and morally compromised but I think the amount of spleen it has generated on here is quite disproportionate.

Its a place where people live and work and those people are currently dealing with a crisis situation not of their making and I think we need to back off and help them get through it rather than ranting incessantly about their moral turpitude.

Do you mean all the people who live and work there? The construction workers, the nannies, the maids?

They are all people too, mostly from other countries.

EasternStandard · 06/03/2026 10:35

Op I’m sure it can be a tougher place because there’s a lower safety net, and risk reward is higher.

Some will like that some won’t. I think that’s ok. Letting people know the downside is fine but many will do well and stay, I think most have an idea that it’s pretty money orientated.