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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Jumpingthruhoops · 06/03/2026 11:28

MarianofSherwood · 06/03/2026 11:15

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It's not Dubai.. It's you. Bitter grapes OP. You tried and it didnt quite work out for you. The above paragraph sums up how most filipino women think when they go and work in Dubai. They have the same intentions as you did. They too go " with good intentions to work hard, save, go home", and many do manage this. I'd say a lot of care workers and nurses who come to the UK are similar. You seem jealous and bitter about the high life some expats in Dubai live. Those who actually "make it" there. If watching influencers triggers you, then dont watch them. I wish you peace of mind OP.

Agree with this. We have several friends who live there who are absolutely thriving. It's lovely to see.

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 11:28

Being "sold the dream" covers a wide spectrum. At the other end of the scale are those searching for an off-grid "back-to-Nature" lifestyle. It all boils down to the same escapism and comes with a sharp learning curve.

EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 11:29

@Amiacoolorwarmcolour "If you have stopped paying into the system then you should not benefit from it."

does that apply to everyone or just expats?

Crikeyalmighty · 06/03/2026 11:31

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

I do think that’s really the reality for many, personally if I was an influencer I would rather use a nomad visa if earnings high enough and live in Spain or Greece or Italy - you can still get your fab sunshine pics etc and in Spain much nicer beaches and way cheaper to live. Guess though those people won’t be showing off the cheap ‘home help’ etc to the envy of equally shallow mates,,and less opportunity for those who go to fleece well off ex pats.i know 2 people who went as families and whilst they were ok didn’t love it, served the contract ( both in professions- one finance, one medical) and then went elsewhere in Europe , whereas I know a few more who went with little ability, just slightly dodgy work history’s and ‘lots of blarney’ and are still there because to be honest there’s not a lot here for them either.

Eatingricecrispieswithafork · 06/03/2026 11:33

Im with the OP, I liv3din Saudi in the 80sas a child, worse year of my life.

Not allowed to celebrate any religion aside from Islam.
Having to cover up as not to offend
Yet was used as a sexual plaything bythe same men

Fucking great experience

Yet it's protected by the usa and us cause of the oil

It's a shithole of a country masquerading as a 5 star holiday destination as is Dubai to a slightly lesser extent but still

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:33

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 08:06

Eyes wide open, and in no way bitter. I have a wonderful life now. I have real insight from lived experience there.

if you had such a wonderful life, you wouldn't be so bitter.

I follow news and current affairs. I am fully on social media, from instagram to tik tok and all the rest of it (I am even on Facebook, I am old). The only time I ever hear about "Dubai influencers" is when I have a look at the DM website. They don't magically appear on my "feed".

Your algorithm is only giving you what you want, posts and stories from people you want to hate and be bitter against.

The vitriol is aimed at influencers who have no idea what life there is really like. if they live there, of course they do. Their life is just as real as yours or the exploited migrants. Just a different perspective and environment.

Figgygal · 06/03/2026 11:34

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

This part of the op sums it up for me
Some real cognitive dissonance goes on to ignore the reality of the place

YourAmplePlumPoster · 06/03/2026 11:34

Interesting article in the Wall Street Journal. Dubai has been a money laundering centre for Iran for many years so they have aided and abetted the regime. Just as Qatar has hosted Iran's proxies Hamas and Hezbollah. Now they are going to turn the taps off.

HolidayHideaway · 06/03/2026 11:35

Figgygal · 06/03/2026 11:34

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

This part of the op sums it up for me
Some real cognitive dissonance goes on to ignore the reality of the place

You could say the same about Singapore re: expats.

MarianofSherwood · 06/03/2026 11:38

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:19

Hi @MarianofSherwood do you have experience of living in Dubai?

This is not about me OP, nor is it about Dubai. It's about you.

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 11:38

EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 11:29

@Amiacoolorwarmcolour "If you have stopped paying into the system then you should not benefit from it."

does that apply to everyone or just expats?

I think we should apply it to everyone. Newborn baby? No NHS for you, you haven't paid in yet. Lose your job? Tough luck you're on your own mate, get back to us when you're paying taxes again.

Government support in the UK isn't only provided to those who are net contributors. That goes against everything the UK stands for.

And of course, there are no magic free flights. I don't know how they decided to charge GBP 350 for the flight that went from Muscat but that sounds likely to be roughly cost price. Most people leaving are funding their own commercial flights, some at a cost of thousands of pounds. They're not waiting for around for UK government support.

NotMeAtAll · 06/03/2026 11:38

I feel very sorry for the poor immigrants who have to endure dreadful working conditions, and who can't afford to escape -war or not.

Wellthisisdifficult · 06/03/2026 11:40

”Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.
They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.””

One of the most accurate things I’ve ever read in MN

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:40

Expats are just expats, of course they can come back and benefit from the system.

OP hates Dubai expat because it somehow touches a nerve, either she landed
without doing the bare minimum of research - yes it's "Dubai" but it's in a Muslim country, and what she calls "real life" is common knowledge

or she completely failed to become the influencer she dreamt she would be

but the same rules apply to any expact wherever they are in the word. By definition, when they want to come home, they can and if they need help, they get it. Even applies to anyone being a tourist overseas.

KidsDoBetter · 06/03/2026 11:40

bittertwisted · 06/03/2026 07:27

My ex husband worked there for a few years. Due to being an alcoholic in denial he managed to get sacked from a string of very highly paid jobs

the only place he could get a job was Dubai. I would rather that than him claiming UC and providing my boys with fuck all in this country

in my experience this is a common reason for going to work in Dubai, last chance saloon

Completely. I know someone incredibly toxic who has a burnt every single bridge in the UK who has popped up there I now see. Doesn't surprise me in the least.

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:42

Just because living in Dubai wasn't right for you, doesn't mean it isn't for everyone. That's what makes us all different right?

My only judgement is when you have those claiming they've been forced out of the UK due to a takeover of immigrants... and then proceed to join another country as an immigrant and see no irony.

But as others have said, if you don't engage with that content, it will soon drop out of your algorithm.

Friendlygingercat · 06/03/2026 11:43

Ive visited Dubai and other parts of the UAE several times. Also Stria, Iran and Afghanistan. I dont agree with the regime or the government but that was not the object of my visit. I never "talk politics" as a visitor or express opinions about the regime.

My great niece teaches at a university in the UAE because she was offered a very high salary and an excellent package. She says she has every intention of staying despite the current situation. Academia is dire in this country. Universities are shedding staff and taxes are far too high. I dont blame her as a single woman begrudging every pound in tax which gets diverted to subsidise families. There is nothing for well qualified single people in this country. If I were 40 years younger I would join her.

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:45

Wellthisisdifficult · 06/03/2026 11:40

”Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.
They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.””

One of the most accurate things I’ve ever read in MN

how many people happily buy clothes and random crap from Shein and Temu - to name a very small example

So I always find it slightly ridiculous when the same people suddenly adopt a morally superior attitude toward “Dubai expats,” as if they’re somehow any better.

I am not defending anything about Dubai, but I find the sudden jealousy and bitterness towards those who just wanted a better life highly amusing. Don't see many bitter threads against other parts of the world.

And just putting this here:

https://www.antislavery.org/slavery-today/slavery-uk/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=14411032773&gbraid=0AAAAAD6PNm6h6uqR8wK7VsTH4xkyQP51G&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9q2sgJmLkwMVZY9QBh04Pwi7EAAYASAAEgLFkfD_BwE

HolidayHideaway · 06/03/2026 11:46

Friendlygingercat · 06/03/2026 11:43

Ive visited Dubai and other parts of the UAE several times. Also Stria, Iran and Afghanistan. I dont agree with the regime or the government but that was not the object of my visit. I never "talk politics" as a visitor or express opinions about the regime.

My great niece teaches at a university in the UAE because she was offered a very high salary and an excellent package. She says she has every intention of staying despite the current situation. Academia is dire in this country. Universities are shedding staff and taxes are far too high. I dont blame her as a single woman begrudging every pound in tax which gets diverted to subsidise families. There is nothing for well qualified single people in this country. If I were 40 years younger I would join her.

I think there’s an increasing feeling people should know their place, not avoid tax, support UK infrastructure & stay put.

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 11:47

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:17

Among all the predictable “you’re just jealous and bitter” replies, there have also been a few thoughtful points that I’ll genuinely take on board.

I have three children to think about, so I know my anxiety can be heightened by my own lived experiences, but my frustration is real.

The influencers I’m referring to feel genuinely dangerous to me. They use lies and false pretences to lure people in, and the timing of their latest brag is, frankly, vile. For those of us in the UK who are genuinely concerned, it’s worrying.

I’ve had some of my posts deleted by Mumsnet, but I’ve said nothing false or inappropriate. My experience is valid, and so is my frustration. I’m simply sharing my perspective based on what I’ve seen and learned, so being shut down for that is odd.

Obviously I can’t see which posts have been deleted, but I assume some of them would have been your frequent, belittling refrain of ‘you’re ignorant’, ‘you’re blind to what’s going on in the world’. You responded like this to people who told you they manage to remain well informed without having to actually go to Dubai. You said similar when people made helpful suggestions about avoiding social media content if it’s seriously impacting your mental health.
It was a rude response. We all have our own lived experiences. Some of us read, talk to people, research and keep abreast of global issues and would never dream of spending time in Dubai precisely because we inform ourselves.

BoredZelda · 06/03/2026 11:48

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 11:38

I think we should apply it to everyone. Newborn baby? No NHS for you, you haven't paid in yet. Lose your job? Tough luck you're on your own mate, get back to us when you're paying taxes again.

Government support in the UK isn't only provided to those who are net contributors. That goes against everything the UK stands for.

And of course, there are no magic free flights. I don't know how they decided to charge GBP 350 for the flight that went from Muscat but that sounds likely to be roughly cost price. Most people leaving are funding their own commercial flights, some at a cost of thousands of pounds. They're not waiting for around for UK government support.

A newborn baby isn’t quite the same as a person who has decided to leave the U.K. for a tax free lifestyle, complaining that the U.K. taxpayers won’t bail them out.

EasternStandard · 06/03/2026 11:49

Wellthisisdifficult · 06/03/2026 11:40

”Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.
They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.””

One of the most accurate things I’ve ever read in MN

I think people overstate this sense of separation. People here who say they’re more giving, less motivated by money might hold onto what they have here too. A house, a watch, some fashion.

You see it with posts on here re say private school where people deliberate on using it but the real privilege, that’s maintained. I think some of that is for show in another way.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:54

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:40

Expats are just expats, of course they can come back and benefit from the system.

OP hates Dubai expat because it somehow touches a nerve, either she landed
without doing the bare minimum of research - yes it's "Dubai" but it's in a Muslim country, and what she calls "real life" is common knowledge

or she completely failed to become the influencer she dreamt she would be

but the same rules apply to any expact wherever they are in the word. By definition, when they want to come home, they can and if they need help, they get it. Even applies to anyone being a tourist overseas.

It seems you dislike that I’m sharing honest insight into what life there is really like. Have you ever actually lived in Dubai?

I never said expats shouldn’t receive help to return. I did, I came back and benefited from a system I hadn’t paid into for three years, but I had contributed to it for many years before leaving.

“Failed to become the influencer she dreamt she would be”? 😂 Please. Based on your comment Im guessing you’re an aspiring iNfLuEnCeR (sorry, “cOnTeNt CrEaTor”) and that’s why you’re so upset with my post.

In my view, influencers can be harmful because they push false narratives and sell people unrealistic dreams. Many end up trapped in difficult situations as a result.

You sound completely disconnected from the reality of living in Dubai, yet you’re here taking shots at someone who’s simply being honest enough to share the truth.

OP posts:
Franpie · 06/03/2026 11:55

I dont like Dubai as a holiday destination, it’s not really my thing but I’ve had to work there for stretches.

However, the UK was also built on exploitation and greed so let’s not all get too judgy lest we forget about the slave trade triangle, the East India Company, the Empire….