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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

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baroqueandblue · 06/03/2026 16:48

I expect many of the points you make in your OP reflect some of the corrupt reality. But I voted YABU because despite your insight you made a scaremongering thread title screaming about a world war, as though that would prove you right about dubai and the people you resent.

Not on.

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 16:48

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:30

So no-one writes about anything challenging?

maybe not a good idea if its personally damaging?

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 16:51

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 16:46

I wonder if this will affect the tourist industry over the next few years. Who knows what lies ahead, but these events may have an impact on the economy of Dubai and places like Doha in the short to medium term. They will need some decent PR.

Tourism and purely providing a nice, comfortable lifestyle for expats who wish to work remotely or start businesses there forms a huge part of the Dubai economy. They don't have anything like the oil and gas money of the Saudis or the Qataris. This will hit them very hard indeed.

Cel77 · 06/03/2026 16:55

I never understood the attraction. I'm educated enough that I know you'll find abject poverty right next to (but hidden away of course) the glitzy fake malls and apartment complexes. It sounds like it would be very hard work to enjoy yourself over there, as so much of everything is about what you look like, and what stuff you can flaunt (body, face, cars, other possessions...). A very shallow place.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 17:00

As far as Qatar is concerned, it's bound to affect their ability to attract people into certain positions in future. Or at least people without children will take the jobs, or men will go alone and leave the wife and kids back home, choosing to just visit them as often as possible rather than relocate the whole family.

This will affect a lot of the schools for sure. And lots of family compounds in the suburbs will struggle to attract tenants as men can live in a small flat in the city centre. Housekeepers and nannies will lose their jobs if professional expat families go home and decide not to return.

Qatar's tourism is pretty much limited to visiting friends and families of expats, some Saudis who like to come over the border for weekends, and the odd cruise ship or people who are on layovers for a day or two. It won't be as catastrophic as it will be for Dubai.

EsmaCannonball · 06/03/2026 17:00

DogPawsMudFur · 06/03/2026 13:33

The Rest is Entertainment did an indepth segment on Dubai influencers this week which I found very informative, I had no idea there were 50,000 influencers in Dubai equating to one in every 80 people. Interesting business model. In a what a weird and dystopian world we live in sort of way. Feels a bit like a house of cards. Good luck to everyone stuck out there right now, no one would wish that on anyone.

If something needs a lot of advertising it's a sign that something is very, very wrong. Former polytechnics that have overextended themselves have to advertise; Oxford or St Andrews do not. There are commercials everywhere for careers in the prison service or social work at the moment; top legal firms or banks do not have to sell themselves as employers.

The fact that Dubai has to sell itself so hard shows that it's built on a very ugly foundation.

Helpmefindmysoul · 06/03/2026 17:16

Passaggressfedup · 06/03/2026 07:34

Three years is a long time to come to this conclusion. Maybe you'd still be there enjoying that life if it hadn't go pear shape for you.

A lot of people have this attitude to say if you return then it didn’t work out or at least you tried it. However it’s neither of those cases and it could simply be that it’s not the place it’s made out to be..

EsmaCannonball · 06/03/2026 17:17

LadyRoughDiamond · 06/03/2026 12:59

Have a listen to The Rest is Entertainment’s special on Dubai (linked below) - it’s a real eye-opener.

Special visas for influencers, an influencer academy teaching how to promote Dubai, the threat of deportation or fines for any negative posts - it’s grotesque but, somehow, fascinating.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-rest-is-entertainment/id1718287198?i=1000752688201

Whenever I have seen influencers being interviewed by the UK media in the last few days, they have all said things like 'the authorities here are handling things very well,' or 'the authorities here have been brilliant.' It struck me as odd that they were all so keen to emphasise that point but also that all these TOWIE-types were speaking of 'the authorities' in such similar ways. Now it may be that the UAE authorities have been very good, but it just came across as a PR line and the influencers not wanting to piss off the wrong people.

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 17:21

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 16:51

Tourism and purely providing a nice, comfortable lifestyle for expats who wish to work remotely or start businesses there forms a huge part of the Dubai economy. They don't have anything like the oil and gas money of the Saudis or the Qataris. This will hit them very hard indeed.

Edited

don't know if its still the same but Dubai and the UAE generally used to be the link/conduit between Saudi and the western world....something like Hong Kong and the Territories was for communist China.

Justnotsureaboutit2021 · 06/03/2026 17:35

bittertwisted · 06/03/2026 07:27

My ex husband worked there for a few years. Due to being an alcoholic in denial he managed to get sacked from a string of very highly paid jobs

the only place he could get a job was Dubai. I would rather that than him claiming UC and providing my boys with fuck all in this country

in my experience this is a common reason for going to work in Dubai, last chance saloon

Couldn't agree more. I have a family member currently living out in Dubai. If he steps foot in the UK it's highly likely he will be arrested for financial crimes. He is incredibly dodgy and I am sure fits in very well in Dubai. Looking forward to when his visa runs out in Dubai and seeing where next he will hide!

ApplebyArrows · 06/03/2026 17:36

Personally I think Dubai looks awful even in the pictures. Not much to be jealous of, to be honest. At best it's a tacky person's idea of luxury.

Ferdyandthegingerone · 06/03/2026 17:39

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 16:45

As I’ve already mentioned, once my visa was processed and my bank account set up, I was encouraged, quite strongly, to take out a credit card, which is very common over there. Early on, I’d already used up my savings and had to rely on that card, again something not unusual in Dubai.

The initial costs of moving and getting settled were far higher than I’d anticipated. I had assumed I’d be able to turn things around after the first couple of paycheques, but that never happened. The credit card interest rates were astronomical. I didn’t live extravagantly, I made my own lunches, skipped takeaway coffees, and tried to be careful, but everyday living expenses quickly spiralled out of control.

That situation left me feeling stuck and worthless, sliding into a depressive state. I’d already committed too much by then, and leaving wasn’t an option as you can’t simply walk away from debt there.

You’ve never lived in Dubai, so I find it unfair that you’d accuse me of lying. I suspect my story struck a nerve because, as you’ve said yourself, you’re also an expat, and perhaps you felt my experience cast a negative light on yours.

You accused me of “trying to save the masses” or even “save humanity,” but that’s such a nasty thing to say given I shared a deeply personal experience.

I took time and care to write that post, regardless of your suggestion that I’m AI. It really sounds as though my story touched on something sensitive for you.

Suggesting that I’m AI or that I have some strange anti-Dubai agenda is frankly absurd. Please clarify which part of my original post you believe I fabricated?

To be clear, you are blaming “Dubai” for your lack of financial planning and responsibility?

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:01

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 16:45

As I’ve already mentioned, once my visa was processed and my bank account set up, I was encouraged, quite strongly, to take out a credit card, which is very common over there. Early on, I’d already used up my savings and had to rely on that card, again something not unusual in Dubai.

The initial costs of moving and getting settled were far higher than I’d anticipated. I had assumed I’d be able to turn things around after the first couple of paycheques, but that never happened. The credit card interest rates were astronomical. I didn’t live extravagantly, I made my own lunches, skipped takeaway coffees, and tried to be careful, but everyday living expenses quickly spiralled out of control.

That situation left me feeling stuck and worthless, sliding into a depressive state. I’d already committed too much by then, and leaving wasn’t an option as you can’t simply walk away from debt there.

You’ve never lived in Dubai, so I find it unfair that you’d accuse me of lying. I suspect my story struck a nerve because, as you’ve said yourself, you’re also an expat, and perhaps you felt my experience cast a negative light on yours.

You accused me of “trying to save the masses” or even “save humanity,” but that’s such a nasty thing to say given I shared a deeply personal experience.

I took time and care to write that post, regardless of your suggestion that I’m AI. It really sounds as though my story touched on something sensitive for you.

Suggesting that I’m AI or that I have some strange anti-Dubai agenda is frankly absurd. Please clarify which part of my original post you believe I fabricated?

And yet you are quick to call people ‘ignorant’ or ‘you’re not real’ when they don’t automatically agree with everything you say.

FWIW I actually agree with some of your points about Dubai, but your tone is so hectoring, as if you have some innate insights and anyone who challenges what you say is uninformed and ignoring major world issues. Many of us keep ourselves informed: we haven’t wanted or needed to live in Dubai to know that it’s built on truly awful values.

and I don’t know why you keep referring to yourself as an expat. Tell it like it is: you were an economic migrant - you chased what you thought was more money and a more comfortable lifestyle.

CruCru · 06/03/2026 18:05

OldieButBaddie · 06/03/2026 09:46

Just pay for ad free Instagram
I was about to delete mine but I thought I'd try it and it is a game changer

In fairness, I feel as though there is so much I already subscribe to - TV streaming services, the Times, Mumsnet. I don’t feel very strongly about Instagram. It’s fairly amusing but if it didn’t exist any more, I wouldn’t be extremely upset.

nomas · 06/03/2026 18:11

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 16:45

As I’ve already mentioned, once my visa was processed and my bank account set up, I was encouraged, quite strongly, to take out a credit card, which is very common over there. Early on, I’d already used up my savings and had to rely on that card, again something not unusual in Dubai.

The initial costs of moving and getting settled were far higher than I’d anticipated. I had assumed I’d be able to turn things around after the first couple of paycheques, but that never happened. The credit card interest rates were astronomical. I didn’t live extravagantly, I made my own lunches, skipped takeaway coffees, and tried to be careful, but everyday living expenses quickly spiralled out of control.

That situation left me feeling stuck and worthless, sliding into a depressive state. I’d already committed too much by then, and leaving wasn’t an option as you can’t simply walk away from debt there.

You’ve never lived in Dubai, so I find it unfair that you’d accuse me of lying. I suspect my story struck a nerve because, as you’ve said yourself, you’re also an expat, and perhaps you felt my experience cast a negative light on yours.

You accused me of “trying to save the masses” or even “save humanity,” but that’s such a nasty thing to say given I shared a deeply personal experience.

I took time and care to write that post, regardless of your suggestion that I’m AI. It really sounds as though my story touched on something sensitive for you.

Suggesting that I’m AI or that I have some strange anti-Dubai agenda is frankly absurd. Please clarify which part of my original post you believe I fabricated?

As I’ve already mentioned, once my visa was processed and my bank account set up, I was encouraged, quite strongly, to take out a credit card, which is very common over there.

Encouraged by who?

My UK bank often encourages me to take out a loan, doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.

You act like you have no agency.

Midnights68 · 06/03/2026 18:12

Sorry if this has already been shared but I thought this was quite a good article.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/mar/06/influencers-sold-fantasy-dubai-missile-economic-migrants

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:13

@crossedlines @Ferdyandthegingerone

No, I called people ignorant when their comments clearly showed ignorance about the wider situation in Dubai and the real issues that exist there. Many of the comments have come from people who have never lived in Dubai but still try to dismiss or criticise someone who has and is simply sharing insight into the reality on the ground.

The term expat is defined as: “An expat (short for expatriate) is a person who lives in a country that is not their native country, usually for an extended period, often to work, study, or retire.”

I lived there for three years to work, exactly what that definition describes.

As for the suggestion that I’m blaming Dubai for my own lack of financial planning, that’s not true at all. I was younger, yes, but I did thorough research before moving and had carefully budgeted for my expected living costs based on the salary I’d accepted.

The problem is that the reality on arrival is very different, everything costs far more than what online sources lead you to believe. That’s my main issue with the glossy narrative often promoted online: it sells an unrealistic dream, especially to younger or less experienced people. They’re drawn in, offered easy credit from day one, and quickly find themselves trapped in the debt cycle, something I genuinely believe is by design.

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womendeserveequalhumanrights · 06/03/2026 18:21

The fact is that many many low paid workers are de facto slaves in Dubai.

Despite the government trying very hard to cover that up, it's still widely known and there is significant evidence. Reports that when workers get there their passports are seized so they cannot leave.

I find it bizarre that we can't comment about how Dubai is essentially the same system other countries are being criticised for 100s of years later and being asked for 'reparations' for - where the minority upper class gain their wealth, and can spend it often on idle, empty lives, off the backs of workers who are worked into the ground with short, unhappy life spans and poor conditions and no means of escape. It is known that the death rate for low paid migrant workers in Gulf states is very high, despite attempts not to collect the data.

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:21

Oh come on, you had posts deleted so don’t backpedal and claim you weren’t being personally offensive.

as for people being drawn into easy credit - no shit! That’s exactly what lenders try to do, it’s not unique to Dubai and we all have agency to make decisions.

CruCru · 06/03/2026 18:22

hedgheog · 06/03/2026 10:20

Sick of chatgpt posts that’s for sure.

Yep!

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:31

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:21

Oh come on, you had posts deleted so don’t backpedal and claim you weren’t being personally offensive.

as for people being drawn into easy credit - no shit! That’s exactly what lenders try to do, it’s not unique to Dubai and we all have agency to make decisions.

The only posts deleted were the ones where I called someone ignorant without explaining why. That’s hardly personal, considering the ignorance being shown.

Regarding how easily people get drawn into credit, my point is that I believe it’s intentional. I’m savvy with money and started out there with savings. Ive since learned that this is a common pattern.

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Heronwatcher · 06/03/2026 18:34

Your initial posts were nothing like what you are now claiming! And if you wanted to raise awareness of the “pitfalls” of Dubai which frankly could happen anywhere in the world (young person goes abroad and overspends shocker) how about “I moved to Dubai and ended up in debt, AMA”. Rather than the completely spurious links to the war when you just seem to want to have a pop at people that still live there and are now having a hard time.

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:35

Anyway, @surelycantjustbeme the bottom line is that Dubai didn’t offer the chance for you to make mega bucks and save lots of money like you imagined it would.

So if it had turned out well for you, you’d clearly have been quite comfortable to live and work in a country which has an appalling human rights record, crazy unpredictable laws and extreme censorship.

Many of us wouldn’t. And yet here you are, lecturing us as if we know nothing…

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 18:36

Cel77 · 06/03/2026 16:55

I never understood the attraction. I'm educated enough that I know you'll find abject poverty right next to (but hidden away of course) the glitzy fake malls and apartment complexes. It sounds like it would be very hard work to enjoy yourself over there, as so much of everything is about what you look like, and what stuff you can flaunt (body, face, cars, other possessions...). A very shallow place.

What you are describing applies to most places in developing countries though. There are plenty of places in the world where the divide between rich and poor is very, very stark. I've been in Vietnam and Thailand and seen it. It's absolutely the case in India. It's just that it doesn't have the spotlight shone on it in those places in the same way that Dubai does.

Every time I hear people bang on about the exploitation and the divide between rich and poor in Dubai, like it's peculiar to there only, I just think 'Crikey, you haven't travelled much, have you?'

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:36

I’m amazed by how offended some of you are just because I shared my story, and by how determined you seem to pick it apart. You’re offended on behalf of people whose job it is to lie and manipulate people online in exchange for quick cash.

It honestly makes me think some of you might be influencers who took my take personally. The whole point of my thread was to express my frustration with influencer culture, and I backed that up by sharing my own experience. The reactions have been astonishing. And no, I’m not Ai.

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