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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 15:06

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 15:00

If you read the thread, or even just my replies, you’ll see I’ve already answered the questions you’re asking. Trust me, I’m not bitter or jealous in any way.

I’m speaking from real experience and have shared the genuine personal challenges that came with it. I’m actually glad I spoke up, because the kind of responses I’ve received perfectly show why so many others choose not to. The negativity always surfaces when someone tries to contribute. I’m guessing many of you haven’t been there, lived there, or really seen what goes on. Maybe you’re influencers and I’ve hit a nerve. Hopefully, my sharing encourages others to do the same.

You haven't shared anything at all

I appreciate you won't get a chance to answer all the questions - but you literally haven't said anything. You had a bad experience. Lots of people move abroad and have a bad experience.

it reads like you're on government/big business gaslighting training - telling us you've answered all the questions when you haven't told us anything at all.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 15:06

PheasantandAstronomers · 06/03/2026 14:39

Which is in part why you get a dopier type in Brit in Dubai than you do in, say, Berlin or Brussels.

Well I don't think you are necessarily a 'dopier type' because you aren't tri-lingual or whatever. I take your point that you won't find many dopey Brits working in Brussels or Berlin, but by and large I don't think that's the case in Dubai either. It's been full of highly qualified business professionals since long before the Turkey Teethed, perma-tanned social media influencers even existed.

And actually, while I'm personally not remotely in the thrall of any of these influencers, some of them are very astute, very hard working people who put a huge amount of effort into what they do. They've cracked the code and they earn very well for the privilege. It's actually not easy to be good at it. You don't need to respect it as a career choice, but let's not speak about them as if they are all completely stupid.

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 15:10

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 15:00

If you read the thread, or even just my replies, you’ll see I’ve already answered the questions you’re asking. Trust me, I’m not bitter or jealous in any way.

I’m speaking from real experience and have shared the genuine personal challenges that came with it. I’m actually glad I spoke up, because the kind of responses I’ve received perfectly show why so many others choose not to. The negativity always surfaces when someone tries to contribute. I’m guessing many of you haven’t been there, lived there, or really seen what goes on. Maybe you’re influencers and I’ve hit a nerve. Hopefully, my sharing encourages others to do the same.

the way and content of your posts does make you sound terribly bitter.

I just can't figure if you landed there completely unprepared and without having done the first bit of research, or if you are not over failing to make it there.

I’m guessing many of you haven’t been there, lived there, or really seen what goes on. You can't cure stupidity, but most people I know who DON'T want to go there know exactly what goes on and that's why they don't want to go 😂

Those who want to go (or are already there) know very well what goes on with SOME of people.

Anyone becoming an expat in a country they know nothing about are just idiots.

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:12

Fairyliz · 06/03/2026 08:18

Oh the irony, if that’s the case why not reply to her or put your own comment instead of trying to shut me down.
I’m giving a view I don’t believe most people in the Uk are that bothered about Dubai. If you think differently why not explain why.

I'm mot sure you can speak for most people in the uk, given you are just one voice.

Faceonthewrongfoot · 06/03/2026 15:14

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:22

At a time when anxiety across the country is at its peak, and with a government that’s clearly struggling, on top of everything happening in the UAE, where hundreds of thousands of Brits live, and potentially may need assistance from the UK government, I don’t think it’s the right moment to be posting about how tough we all have it here, compared to the UAE, no.

We don’t need it constantly shoved in our faces about how awful life supposedly is here or how unsafe it’s become to walk the streets.

We don’t need it constantly shoved in our faces about how awful life supposedly is here or how unsafe it’s become to walk the streets.

But OP - what people are trying to say here is that it isn't being constantly shoved in our faces. I've never seen any of this type of content. Its being shoved in YOUR face because you're seemingly going looking for it. A large number of us are VERY aware of what Dubai is like, have no desire to work or visit there, and don't feel the need to spend time in social media looking at influencers talking about it.

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:16

nomas · 06/03/2026 14:24

It’s neither good or bad, just basic.

Interspersed with regular gems such as ‘You cannot be real’ and ‘You are ignorant’.

Edited

Using basic is kinda basic in itself no?

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 15:19

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:30

I write for a living, and this is a topic I’m genuinely passionate about. Nice try, but I highly doubt ChatGPT could’ve come up with that entire narrative. Are you seriously reading what I wrote and assuming it’s fabricated? Everything I’ve shared comes entirely from my own experience, observation, and knowledge, and my frustration with influencers is very real.

maybe find a subject to write about that is less detrimental to your mental and emotional health?

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 15:19

WearyAuldWumman · 06/03/2026 14:55

I just want to say that I'm finding this thread interesting. Thanks @surelycantjustbeme .

I know two people who moved out to Dubai to work. In one case, I'm fairly certain that it was the last-chance saloon for him.

I hadn't realised that the cost of living was high enough to cause people to get into debt - I had this notion that people moved there for a few years in order to save up.

I haven’t been here long but the cost of living isn’t as high as other places but I guess it’s relative and depends where you are comparing to. Banks will give you credit very quickly though and if you are trying to keep up with the Jones’s and live a certain lifestyle, then I can see how easy it would be to get into debt. Thankfully I’m older and wiser and learnt my financial lessons when I was a lot younger. Dubai is not the place you want to end up in debt that’s for sure.

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 15:23

Is the state of literacy in this country so poor, that people read a post with some big words and automatically think it is AI?!

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 15:25

Honestly, this place is ridiculous nowadays. People read a post that they disagree with, and they immediately start shouting about AI or bots. This is from people across all sides of the practical spectrum. It’s just silly. Yes, there will be some bots, but there is no reason to suspect that this one is.

HolidayHideaway · 06/03/2026 15:26

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 15:23

Is the state of literacy in this country so poor, that people read a post with some big words and automatically think it is AI?!

In a word, yes.

ClairDeLaLune · 06/03/2026 15:28

You omitted to mention that it was built by slave labour.

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:30

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 15:19

maybe find a subject to write about that is less detrimental to your mental and emotional health?

So no-one writes about anything challenging?

Rituelec · 06/03/2026 15:31

I dont believe any of the 'we are safe, everything is fine ' posts

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 15:56

Rituelec · 06/03/2026 15:31

I dont believe any of the 'we are safe, everything is fine ' posts

You can believe what you want but if I didn’t feel safe, I would be trying to leave believe me.

Fairyliz · 06/03/2026 15:59

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:12

I'm mot sure you can speak for most people in the uk, given you are just one voice.

I didn’t say I was speaking for everyone, but I am allowed to speak. Why are you so keen to shut me down?

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 16:02

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 15:25

Honestly, this place is ridiculous nowadays. People read a post that they disagree with, and they immediately start shouting about AI or bots. This is from people across all sides of the practical spectrum. It’s just silly. Yes, there will be some bots, but there is no reason to suspect that this one is.

not that long ago, it used to be trolls - and people self appointed themselves as "troll hunters". They even started a thread on reddit.

Now they are fighting AI

Some posters have very little in their life and are VERY invested in this site 😂

ChefsKisser · 06/03/2026 16:13

Why can’t we just live and let live. I have no posts on social media from Dubai influencers but plenty of smug people telling them how foolish they are. What a horrible way to be in a stressful situation. People move to places I wouldn’t want to live in all the time- I don’t feel the need to confront them or list why I wouldn’t live there I just get on with it.

Blowfishbob · 06/03/2026 16:16

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 15:00

If you read the thread, or even just my replies, you’ll see I’ve already answered the questions you’re asking. Trust me, I’m not bitter or jealous in any way.

I’m speaking from real experience and have shared the genuine personal challenges that came with it. I’m actually glad I spoke up, because the kind of responses I’ve received perfectly show why so many others choose not to. The negativity always surfaces when someone tries to contribute. I’m guessing many of you haven’t been there, lived there, or really seen what goes on. Maybe you’re influencers and I’ve hit a nerve. Hopefully, my sharing encourages others to do the same.

I’ve read the thread and all your replies but still none the wiser other than you were ‘lured’ there somehow with false promises of untold riches. You sound completely unhinged (although agree with others your post probably isn’t genuine and that you just have some weird anti-Dubai agenda). Why instead of taking out credit card debt didn’t you just return home earlier when it became clear the job wasn’t what you thought (and still unclear what exactly you went out there to do)?

FWIW I have lived in the Middle East (not Dubai but similar), been to Dubai multiple times and lived in Hong Kong and Singapore so I’m pretty qualified to form my own opinions on the subject and my experience is completely the opposite of what you describe. I’m not an influencer and I can’t say they’ve ever crossed my radar but if they did I’d mute and move on. No need to save the masses from influencers as if sharing your experience is doing humanity a favour, anyone that chooses to believe the rubbish they are paid to push and who would move to another country purely based on what some random idiot on insta or TikTok is saying can learn the hard way how life works.

nomas · 06/03/2026 16:29

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 15:16

Using basic is kinda basic in itself no?

I’m not a writer. I draft contracts though, so a few big words don’t impress me.

EsmaCannonball · 06/03/2026 16:37

When you think of all the Iranians who've been massacred and executed by their own government in the last few weeks it's then infuriating to see these vapid influencers make it all about them and their trivial issues. I don't even seek this stuff out. Mainstream news channels have seen fit to interview these people.

The people (of all ethnicities) who moved there and boast about being able to afford a chauffeur and a live-in maid (usually from some desperately poor country) remind me of the white South Africans you used to encounter who always had live-in servants. Maybe it's not exactly slavery but it is exploitation and near-indentured servitude.

And don't get me started on the people who get locked up there and then whinge about it. You chose to go to a police state for a jolly or to get rich; deal with it.

MaggieBsBoat · 06/03/2026 16:41

I have a couple of colleagues in Dubai. One looks so stressed at the moment that I’ve told her to take time off and just get out of the country while she can. I’ll cover her work. The other is waiting to get out asap. Ive only been with this company for a handful of months but it’s (not really) funny how quickly it’s gone from look at how lucky we are to oh my god please get me out! It’s horrible.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 16:45

Blowfishbob · 06/03/2026 16:16

I’ve read the thread and all your replies but still none the wiser other than you were ‘lured’ there somehow with false promises of untold riches. You sound completely unhinged (although agree with others your post probably isn’t genuine and that you just have some weird anti-Dubai agenda). Why instead of taking out credit card debt didn’t you just return home earlier when it became clear the job wasn’t what you thought (and still unclear what exactly you went out there to do)?

FWIW I have lived in the Middle East (not Dubai but similar), been to Dubai multiple times and lived in Hong Kong and Singapore so I’m pretty qualified to form my own opinions on the subject and my experience is completely the opposite of what you describe. I’m not an influencer and I can’t say they’ve ever crossed my radar but if they did I’d mute and move on. No need to save the masses from influencers as if sharing your experience is doing humanity a favour, anyone that chooses to believe the rubbish they are paid to push and who would move to another country purely based on what some random idiot on insta or TikTok is saying can learn the hard way how life works.

As I’ve already mentioned, once my visa was processed and my bank account set up, I was encouraged, quite strongly, to take out a credit card, which is very common over there. Early on, I’d already used up my savings and had to rely on that card, again something not unusual in Dubai.

The initial costs of moving and getting settled were far higher than I’d anticipated. I had assumed I’d be able to turn things around after the first couple of paycheques, but that never happened. The credit card interest rates were astronomical. I didn’t live extravagantly, I made my own lunches, skipped takeaway coffees, and tried to be careful, but everyday living expenses quickly spiralled out of control.

That situation left me feeling stuck and worthless, sliding into a depressive state. I’d already committed too much by then, and leaving wasn’t an option as you can’t simply walk away from debt there.

You’ve never lived in Dubai, so I find it unfair that you’d accuse me of lying. I suspect my story struck a nerve because, as you’ve said yourself, you’re also an expat, and perhaps you felt my experience cast a negative light on yours.

You accused me of “trying to save the masses” or even “save humanity,” but that’s such a nasty thing to say given I shared a deeply personal experience.

I took time and care to write that post, regardless of your suggestion that I’m AI. It really sounds as though my story touched on something sensitive for you.

Suggesting that I’m AI or that I have some strange anti-Dubai agenda is frankly absurd. Please clarify which part of my original post you believe I fabricated?

OP posts:
LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 16:46

I wonder if this will affect the tourist industry over the next few years. Who knows what lies ahead, but these events may have an impact on the economy of Dubai and places like Doha in the short to medium term. They will need some decent PR.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 16:46

EsmaCannonball · 06/03/2026 16:37

When you think of all the Iranians who've been massacred and executed by their own government in the last few weeks it's then infuriating to see these vapid influencers make it all about them and their trivial issues. I don't even seek this stuff out. Mainstream news channels have seen fit to interview these people.

The people (of all ethnicities) who moved there and boast about being able to afford a chauffeur and a live-in maid (usually from some desperately poor country) remind me of the white South Africans you used to encounter who always had live-in servants. Maybe it's not exactly slavery but it is exploitation and near-indentured servitude.

And don't get me started on the people who get locked up there and then whinge about it. You chose to go to a police state for a jolly or to get rich; deal with it.

It's funny that it should remind you of white South Africans who had live in help but it doesn't remind you of all the rich Arabs, Indians, Pakistanis, Jordanians and Lebanese and Malaysian and Nigerian people who have always had live-in help, isn't it?

You do realise that statistically very, very few white people these days are living the kinds of lifestyles where they can afford live in help, compared to the number of non-white people globally who have it?