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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 13:42

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:40

I don't know who you're replying to but I've never been to Dubai

Interesting how you and so many other people
have an opinion on somewhere they haven’t even been. I expect you’re still in the same village you grew up in?

Skybunnee · 06/03/2026 13:45

I’ve just looked it up - there are 2 million Indians living in Dubai, I doubt they are all influencers, they probably come from all walks of life and sending their money home keeps their families and India afloat.
I think I heard that over 100,000 expat Brits had applied to embassy so a drop in the ocean compared to total expats

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 13:52

As much as I despise westerners who go in pursuit of money and bling to Dubai, and who are in effect exploiting really low-paid and abused staff, I think the UK government does have a duty to help them in an emergency. That should come with being a UK citizen in my view. Even if you pay no tax and slag off the UK.

justheretoread111 · 06/03/2026 13:58

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:30

I write for a living, and this is a topic I’m genuinely passionate about. Nice try, but I highly doubt ChatGPT could’ve come up with that entire narrative. Are you seriously reading what I wrote and assuming it’s fabricated? Everything I’ve shared comes entirely from my own experience, observation, and knowledge, and my frustration with influencers is very real.

It might be ‘true’ but it reads as boring, basic and hyperbolic. With a real lack of any sort of self awareness. Talk about over egging the pudding!

Frugalgal · 06/03/2026 13:58

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do to avoid paying tax.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 14:03

justheretoread111 · 06/03/2026 13:58

It might be ‘true’ but it reads as boring, basic and hyperbolic. With a real lack of any sort of self awareness. Talk about over egging the pudding!

Wow, you sound like a delight. So now you’re nitpicking my writing style because you can’t actually argue with the content? Or can you? What exactly is your issue?

Tell me which part of what I’ve written bothers you, and I’ll happily elaborate. Try communicating like an adult instead of lashing out like a child who just doesn’t like what they’re hearing.

OP posts:
MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 14:04

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:40

I don't know who you're replying to but I've never been to Dubai

Confused you with the OP, sorry.

First two points still remain valid.

SleepSleeping · 06/03/2026 14:08

nomas · 06/03/2026 07:53

No one is trying to shut the OP down.

But she is obsessing over a place that had her ‘buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.’

Advising her to stop searching influencer videos and posts on SM is people trying to be helpful.

But op hasn't asked for help. I suppose she wanted to write a warning to not believe all the hype about Dubai. Or maybe she just wanted to vent about her experiences. Either way I am pretty sure that making a single thread on MN doesn't mean that she is obsessing about anything. What a weird thing to say on a forum.

Op, I think the dark underbelly of Dubai is well known but I still found your post interesting. It's always good to hear from people who have actually lived in a place.

(The only thing I found grating is the use of expat. Hate that term. Most foreign nationals working in Dubai are there on a temporary basis so they are all expats but it only seems to apply to white people. Maybe if British expats could relate more to other expats in Dubai, it wouldn't be such a weird place.)

Ihateboris · 06/03/2026 14:10

This is such a brilliant, eye opening post Op. I know a woman who also ended up in debt and with really low self esteem having lived there for a few months.

ThisTaupeZebra · 06/03/2026 14:10

I don't have any friends who have moved to Dubai, so don't have particuarly strong thoughts on the expat community there. Though I would rather boil my own head rather than have a holiday there, let alone live there.

OP, I wonder if the vitriol comes from people who know the kind of arseholes who move there, and are fed up with the rhetoric and are glad it has all come crashing down.

FWIW I do have a number of friends who have lived in, and would like to move back to Australia, including quite a few doctors and nurses. I find the unending obsession with the assumed inherent superiority of the place very tedious. Like some friendships have ended as they were unable to frame any conversation without reference to 'how it would be in Aus'.

Yeah its sunnier and they will have a bit more money, but heaven forfend you bring up the racism, misogyny, skin cancer, lack of access to family and friends back home and crippling cost for either party if you want to visit, bonkers politics and of course the wildlife that is trying to kill you, or you will be accused of being jealous. Yeah, nah...

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 14:10

My ex husband worked there for a few years. Due to being an alcoholic in denial he managed to get sacked from a string of very highly paid jobs
the only place he could get a job was Dubai. I would rather that than him claiming UC and providing my boys with fuck all in this country
in my experience this is a common reason for going to work in Dubai, last chance saloon

Every seasoned ex-pat has met your husband or some version of him, and it's not just Dubai and the Gulf, it's Hong Kong, it was France and Spain in the days when anyone British could just pitch up and live there. It's Nigeria, it's Indonesia, it's Egypt. It's every place either very attractive to expats, or a real hardship posting but with an attractive enough package that someone desperate will still take it. The worse the place, the worse the quality of expat hires it will attract.

Those people don't tend to last long in expat land either. The one thing you can't run away from is yourself. You can reinvent yourself as many times as you like, but if the problem is you then things will catch up with you eventually.

It's grossly unfair and inaccurate to make assumptions that most expats who take jobs or start businesses abroad are like your husband though. For a start, the nature of many people's careers means that most of the opportunities that come their way do involve moving around the world every five years or so. They are often sent to work on contracts on behalf of their employers and when those contracts dry up they move on. It's not always a conscious choice to want to be in Dubai or anywhere else, it's just a case of going where the work is. this is particularly true if you work in something like construction, project management or civil engineering.

The other reason places like Dubai and other gulf states are attractive prospects for many Brits is that the common business language there is English. Unlike if you were to see a great job in Germany for example, where you'd be expected quite rightly to be able to speak German, in the Gulf everybody speaks English in almost every working environment, because the people are from all over the world, so it's the one language most people have in common, including the Arabs, who accept that they are forced to speak English in their own country if they want the right people on board to help them get things done.

It's much easier as a non multi-lingual Brit to work in Dubai than it is to take the same job somewhere in Europe.

ThisTaupeZebra · 06/03/2026 14:11

OP, out of interest, why do so many get in debt?

PrismRain · 06/03/2026 14:13

AI generated OP. It’s really obvious.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 06/03/2026 14:23

For those saying it’s ChatGPT or AI, I really don’t think it is, OP writes with passion and like a human. Like a feature writer for a magazine.

I might not agree with OPs approach entirely but I do think she has a good writing style.

nomas · 06/03/2026 14:24

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 06/03/2026 14:23

For those saying it’s ChatGPT or AI, I really don’t think it is, OP writes with passion and like a human. Like a feature writer for a magazine.

I might not agree with OPs approach entirely but I do think she has a good writing style.

It’s neither good or bad, just basic.

Interspersed with regular gems such as ‘You cannot be real’ and ‘You are ignorant’.

Backinajiffy · 06/03/2026 14:24

@SleepSleeping
(The only thing I found grating is the use of expat. Hate that term. Most foreign nationals working in Dubai are there on a temporary basis so they are all expats but it only seems to apply to white people. Maybe if British expats could relate more to other expats in Dubai, it wouldn't be such a weird place.)

Agreed. All workers from the subcontinent and elsewhere are referred to as expats in the Dubai press.

To me, an expat is someone who it there on a temporary basis, and since that applies to everyone, as citizenship is not available, then by default there are only Emiratis, and Expats (and holiday makers I suppose).

Immigrants imply a desire/ability to permanently relocate.

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 14:25

The hatred, jealousy and bitterness is hilarious.

People move around. Goes both ways.

as of June 2023, there were around 11.4 million non-UK-born residents of England and Wales, including 3.4 million EU-born and 8.0 million non-EU born. This was equivalent to around 19% of the England and Wales population.

There's an estimated 4.7 million UK-born people living abroad. Some in Dubai...

LizardCase · 06/03/2026 14:29

I don't see any of this stuff fortunately but influencers are specifically paid by the Dubai government to promote it as safe, desirable etc, as well as receiving special visas to enable them to do so. You may as well get cross about Coca Cola promoting fizzy drinks.

catsandpolitics · 06/03/2026 14:32

Heronwatcher · 06/03/2026 08:27

Oh and BTW your original post sounded like AI and your subsequent retorts sound like they were written by a 12 yr old after too much caffeine. If you were looking for a career in journalism or creative writing I’d turn your sights elsewhere.

Having a bad day?

PheasantandAstronomers · 06/03/2026 14:39

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 14:10

My ex husband worked there for a few years. Due to being an alcoholic in denial he managed to get sacked from a string of very highly paid jobs
the only place he could get a job was Dubai. I would rather that than him claiming UC and providing my boys with fuck all in this country
in my experience this is a common reason for going to work in Dubai, last chance saloon

Every seasoned ex-pat has met your husband or some version of him, and it's not just Dubai and the Gulf, it's Hong Kong, it was France and Spain in the days when anyone British could just pitch up and live there. It's Nigeria, it's Indonesia, it's Egypt. It's every place either very attractive to expats, or a real hardship posting but with an attractive enough package that someone desperate will still take it. The worse the place, the worse the quality of expat hires it will attract.

Those people don't tend to last long in expat land either. The one thing you can't run away from is yourself. You can reinvent yourself as many times as you like, but if the problem is you then things will catch up with you eventually.

It's grossly unfair and inaccurate to make assumptions that most expats who take jobs or start businesses abroad are like your husband though. For a start, the nature of many people's careers means that most of the opportunities that come their way do involve moving around the world every five years or so. They are often sent to work on contracts on behalf of their employers and when those contracts dry up they move on. It's not always a conscious choice to want to be in Dubai or anywhere else, it's just a case of going where the work is. this is particularly true if you work in something like construction, project management or civil engineering.

The other reason places like Dubai and other gulf states are attractive prospects for many Brits is that the common business language there is English. Unlike if you were to see a great job in Germany for example, where you'd be expected quite rightly to be able to speak German, in the Gulf everybody speaks English in almost every working environment, because the people are from all over the world, so it's the one language most people have in common, including the Arabs, who accept that they are forced to speak English in their own country if they want the right people on board to help them get things done.

It's much easier as a non multi-lingual Brit to work in Dubai than it is to take the same job somewhere in Europe.

Edited

Which is in part why you get a dopier type in Brit in Dubai than you do in, say, Berlin or Brussels.

Blowfishbob · 06/03/2026 14:44

Not going to lie @surelycantjustbemeyou sound a bit unhinged and or just plain jealous that Dubai didn’t make you rich as well - you criticise others for going to Dubai to make money while freely admitting that was also your intention and you failed. What is it you went there to do and why did you end up in massive debt and with an eating disorder? Sounds like something that could easily have happened anyway in the UK. Bizarre rant.

WearyAuldWumman · 06/03/2026 14:55

I just want to say that I'm finding this thread interesting. Thanks @surelycantjustbeme .

I know two people who moved out to Dubai to work. In one case, I'm fairly certain that it was the last-chance saloon for him.

I hadn't realised that the cost of living was high enough to cause people to get into debt - I had this notion that people moved there for a few years in order to save up.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 15:00

Blowfishbob · 06/03/2026 14:44

Not going to lie @surelycantjustbemeyou sound a bit unhinged and or just plain jealous that Dubai didn’t make you rich as well - you criticise others for going to Dubai to make money while freely admitting that was also your intention and you failed. What is it you went there to do and why did you end up in massive debt and with an eating disorder? Sounds like something that could easily have happened anyway in the UK. Bizarre rant.

If you read the thread, or even just my replies, you’ll see I’ve already answered the questions you’re asking. Trust me, I’m not bitter or jealous in any way.

I’m speaking from real experience and have shared the genuine personal challenges that came with it. I’m actually glad I spoke up, because the kind of responses I’ve received perfectly show why so many others choose not to. The negativity always surfaces when someone tries to contribute. I’m guessing many of you haven’t been there, lived there, or really seen what goes on. Maybe you’re influencers and I’ve hit a nerve. Hopefully, my sharing encourages others to do the same.

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 06/03/2026 15:01

PrismRain · 06/03/2026 14:13

AI generated OP. It’s really obvious.

Why? Because it reads coherently?

I’m really sick of anything that’s vaguely comprehensible being dismissed as AI slop.

OP has already said that she’s a writer. Also, none of her posts show any of the tells of AI.

I’m also a copywriter and it’s tiresome that no one seems to believe that humans are - shock! - capable of producing thoughtful, well-expressed content any more.

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