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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
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MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 12:32

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:20

Of an estimated 300,000 Brits resident in Gulf states, 103,000 have registered for British Government assistance. They're not complaining they won't get support from the British taxpayer because they will.

Eta, it's not about it being free, exactly the point you make. If it were just the cost of a flight they'd be able to help themselves. They're wanting support from the system, which they have avoided paying for.

Edited

I'm not sure that's quite accurate. My understanding is that around that number registered their presence, as instructed, so they could receive updates and safety advice. This registration doesn't mean they have requested or guaranteed assistance to get home.

Somersetlady · 06/03/2026 12:37

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 09:13

Hi @EasternStandard thanks for the question. Influencers weren’t really a thing when I went. I was drawn by the promise of a higher salary, as my sector in the UK offered limited opportunities for advancement. Looking back, I didn’t fully understand the real cost of living there, my decision was mostly based on Google searches.

Within a short time of arriving, I’d burned through my savings, out of necessity, not luxury. As soon as my visa was processed and my bank account opened, I was encouraged to take out a credit card, and that’s when the debt spiral began. I wasn’t spending recklessly; I just had no choice but to rely on it. Foolish, perhaps, but far from uncommon there, and that’s not just my opinion.

I was lucky (though bittersweet) to receive an inheritance around the time my visa expired after three years, which allowed me to clear my debt and leave. It’s a lonely, isolating place if you’re not part of a close-knit community. My frustration stems from those three difficult years and a genuine empathy for others who find themselves in the same situation. With influencers pushing something that’s just pure fantasy, being pedalled for engagement. The timing of their latest brag is simply vile.

This really sounds like it could’ve happened to you anywhere your lack of fiscal responsibility budgeting and planning is not the fault of any Country or lender……

Are you trying to say the high salary never materialised or you weren’t able to live within your means?

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 12:40

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:20

Of an estimated 300,000 Brits resident in Gulf states, 103,000 have registered for British Government assistance. They're not complaining they won't get support from the British taxpayer because they will.

Eta, it's not about it being free, exactly the point you make. If it were just the cost of a flight they'd be able to help themselves. They're wanting support from the system, which they have avoided paying for.

Edited

They have registered for notifications. Many would also like government assistance. I explained why - it's a logistical nightmare and there are not enough commercial options to get everyone out. If this escalates more (and I personally think it is escalating) then there is no way to get everyone out without a mass, organized evacuation effort. Most likely by ship from Muscat.

People aren't asking for handouts. Government repatriation is pretty much always paid.

Actually I do know someone people who are pretty desperate for government assistance. Nothing is being done for people who have passports in for renewal. This isn't done locally and you have to send off your existing passports. Even they're not asking for a handout just an emergency travel document, their actual passport back or some other support from the UK government to enable them to leave.

Ditto those newborn babies that apparently are allowed government support. People are quite keen on travel documents for them as well.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:51

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 12:40

They have registered for notifications. Many would also like government assistance. I explained why - it's a logistical nightmare and there are not enough commercial options to get everyone out. If this escalates more (and I personally think it is escalating) then there is no way to get everyone out without a mass, organized evacuation effort. Most likely by ship from Muscat.

People aren't asking for handouts. Government repatriation is pretty much always paid.

Actually I do know someone people who are pretty desperate for government assistance. Nothing is being done for people who have passports in for renewal. This isn't done locally and you have to send off your existing passports. Even they're not asking for a handout just an emergency travel document, their actual passport back or some other support from the UK government to enable them to leave.

Ditto those newborn babies that apparently are allowed government support. People are quite keen on travel documents for them as well.

Yes, of course and that logistical support is possible because of a system that's been paid for by UK taxpayers.

No one's suggesting they want handouts but they are asking for support from a government they've taken steps to avoid paying for and in many cases have actively complained about the things the UK government spends tax money on.

That Government will of course help, but excuse some taxpayers thinking it's not good use of their tax money.

That's the point of "the state" it can achieve things individually can't, but it doesn't come for free. Maybe some will wake up to that, but it seems not.

I wonder how the UAE would retreat such expats, those who left in a fanfare of critisim of their government?

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 12:51

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 12:32

I'm not sure that's quite accurate. My understanding is that around that number registered their presence, as instructed, so they could receive updates and safety advice. This registration doesn't mean they have requested or guaranteed assistance to get home.

Correct. I registered my presence - I haven’t registered my intention to return to the UK (unless things get significantly worse) and nor would I expect anyone else to cover the cost.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:52

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 12:32

I'm not sure that's quite accurate. My understanding is that around that number registered their presence, as instructed, so they could receive updates and safety advice. This registration doesn't mean they have requested or guaranteed assistance to get home.

Regardless, they're wanting help from a tax system they "escaped" from.

canisquaeso · 06/03/2026 12:58

People change, but not enough to stop using the elitist term expat.

🫢🫢🫢🫢

Catspace · 06/03/2026 12:59

Don’t know much about Dubai apart from it’s in the Middle East and hot. Have zero interest in ever visiting. Seems to be a deeply fake place very much like Instagram. You’d have to sell your soul to the devil to go and live there. Bizarre.

LadyRoughDiamond · 06/03/2026 12:59

Have a listen to The Rest is Entertainment’s special on Dubai (linked below) - it’s a real eye-opener.

Special visas for influencers, an influencer academy teaching how to promote Dubai, the threat of deportation or fines for any negative posts - it’s grotesque but, somehow, fascinating.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-rest-is-entertainment/id1718287198?i=1000752688201

Dubai Influencers vs Iran

Dubai Influencers vs Iran

Podcast Episode · The Rest Is Entertainment · 3 March · 54m

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dubai-influencers-vs-iran/id1718287198?i=1000752688201

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 13:00

canisquaeso · 06/03/2026 12:58

People change, but not enough to stop using the elitist term expat.

🫢🫢🫢🫢

So true

Mamamia2019 · 06/03/2026 13:01

“It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax.”

Is this not a bit hypocritical as it’s exactly what you have done? You said yourself you went out to “save” which reflects your increase in income without having to pay tax, and then when it all went tits up you returned to the UK and would have benefitted immediately from all the UK systems.. despite having avoided tax in Dubai for however many years. Obviously it’s also terrible you suffered an eating disorder It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:02

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 12:51

Correct. I registered my presence - I haven’t registered my intention to return to the UK (unless things get significantly worse) and nor would I expect anyone else to cover the cost.

Do why have you registered if you don't expect anything from it? Maybe you'll choose not to leave but you still want to be in the system and you stilll want that option available if you do decide you want it. Just giving you that facility costs taxpayers money.

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 13:04

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:52

Regardless, they're wanting help from a tax system they "escaped" from.

How does it mean that? They've been asked by their home nation to register, so they have?

bevm72yellow · 06/03/2026 13:05

A beautiful place, beautiful buildings, opulent, cultural but when I went on a short holiday only to see a fellow countrywoman hand her dirty paper handtowel to the Philippino lady cleaning the public washroom facilities instead of binning it ( beside her) demonstrated how quickly values towards others dissipate. It is a facade for active slavery for many foreign workers there with no health and safety protections/ healthcare. And yes getting into debt is very punishable.

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:07

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:51

Yes, of course and that logistical support is possible because of a system that's been paid for by UK taxpayers.

No one's suggesting they want handouts but they are asking for support from a government they've taken steps to avoid paying for and in many cases have actively complained about the things the UK government spends tax money on.

That Government will of course help, but excuse some taxpayers thinking it's not good use of their tax money.

That's the point of "the state" it can achieve things individually can't, but it doesn't come for free. Maybe some will wake up to that, but it seems not.

I wonder how the UAE would retreat such expats, those who left in a fanfare of critisim of their government?

Can you be a bit clearer? What is the type of thing that you are suggesting would be provided and not charged for?

I agree that some of the support that comes from having a government is hard to put a price on and so might be hard to charge for. I'm sure someone can come up with an uplift figure for the ticket price if needed.

I am a bit confused though whether your proposal is that if you aren't a UK taxpayer you are no longer entitled to support from the British government? That would hit a fair number of people resident in the UK. Maybe you exempt children? Is that only children living in the UK (costing the UK state money for education and healthcare)?

Plenty of people in Dubai pay UK tax. And even more who are well in credit based on the tax they have paid over their lives. Maybe what we do is we get HMRC to come up with a list and only let people on the boat if they've paid enough tax over their lifetimes? Maybe a newborn baby or two as well just for the photo-op.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:07

Mamamia2019 · 06/03/2026 13:01

“It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax.”

Is this not a bit hypocritical as it’s exactly what you have done? You said yourself you went out to “save” which reflects your increase in income without having to pay tax, and then when it all went tits up you returned to the UK and would have benefitted immediately from all the UK systems.. despite having avoided tax in Dubai for however many years. Obviously it’s also terrible you suffered an eating disorder It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax.

I agree. I was that person for three years. In a way, that gives my argument more weight. I changed a lot during my time there, and when I returned to the UK, I benefited from the government despite not having paid into the system for those three years. Before that, I’d contributed to it my whole working life. The difference is, I never belittled the UK, which is exactly what these influencers are doing.

OP posts:
ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:09

Maybe you're proposing people should have to pay to register for UK alerts? I don't think they cost that much money but hey sure. I don't mind paying

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 13:12

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:02

Do why have you registered if you don't expect anything from it? Maybe you'll choose not to leave but you still want to be in the system and you stilll want that option available if you do decide you want it. Just giving you that facility costs taxpayers money.

I’ve registered my presence as we have been asked to do so.

I have paid enough tax into the UK over my life time and as I mentioned, can fund my flight back if I need to. I am not expecting handouts.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:12

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:09

Maybe you're proposing people should have to pay to register for UK alerts? I don't think they cost that much money but hey sure. I don't mind paying

It's not the alerts that cost money it's the whole system of government that makes them possible. The one so many of these people were glad to get away from and avoid contributing to.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:13

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 13:12

I’ve registered my presence as we have been asked to do so.

I have paid enough tax into the UK over my life time and as I mentioned, can fund my flight back if I need to. I am not expecting handouts.

Again, it's not about the cost of the flight...

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 13:15

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:07

Can you be a bit clearer? What is the type of thing that you are suggesting would be provided and not charged for?

I agree that some of the support that comes from having a government is hard to put a price on and so might be hard to charge for. I'm sure someone can come up with an uplift figure for the ticket price if needed.

I am a bit confused though whether your proposal is that if you aren't a UK taxpayer you are no longer entitled to support from the British government? That would hit a fair number of people resident in the UK. Maybe you exempt children? Is that only children living in the UK (costing the UK state money for education and healthcare)?

Plenty of people in Dubai pay UK tax. And even more who are well in credit based on the tax they have paid over their lives. Maybe what we do is we get HMRC to come up with a list and only let people on the boat if they've paid enough tax over their lifetimes? Maybe a newborn baby or two as well just for the photo-op.

I'm not "proposing" anything, I'm just suggesting it's not unreasonable for Bristish taxpayers to raise an eyebrow at tax money being used to provide this support.

And exactly as you say, the support people will require comes from having functioning government, defence, intelligence services which is all expensive. It's not just a flight.

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:15

I am happy to be charged whatever you think I need to be charged. But I note you don't hold UK residents to the same standards. And you don't seem to be able to clarify exactly who should be charged.

Do ex-military get support or have they not done enough for the UK?

nomas · 06/03/2026 13:16

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:07

I agree. I was that person for three years. In a way, that gives my argument more weight. I changed a lot during my time there, and when I returned to the UK, I benefited from the government despite not having paid into the system for those three years. Before that, I’d contributed to it my whole working life. The difference is, I never belittled the UK, which is exactly what these influencers are doing.

I never belittled the UK, which is exactly what these influencers are doing.

So people can’t criticise the UK now?

Bizarre.

iamnotalemon · 06/03/2026 13:16

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 13:09

Maybe you're proposing people should have to pay to register for UK alerts? I don't think they cost that much money but hey sure. I don't mind paying

I think I’ve received three emails with very little helpful information. Just telling me to check a website.

But if it makes people less bitter, I can send the UK government a couple of quid.

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 13:17

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 13:07

I agree. I was that person for three years. In a way, that gives my argument more weight. I changed a lot during my time there, and when I returned to the UK, I benefited from the government despite not having paid into the system for those three years. Before that, I’d contributed to it my whole working life. The difference is, I never belittled the UK, which is exactly what these influencers are doing.

Does your argument apply to all people who don’t pay UK tax? For example children, those unable to work due to illness, pensioners without private income, stay at home parents or people on benefits?

What about someone who moved to France and later needed consular assistance?

If they haven’t belittled the UK and simply moved to Dubai seeking a better life (in their view), should they still be eligible for help?

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