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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:56

tax free lifestyle 😂

why does it matter so much to people about Dubai?
It's Dubai who might be "losing out" - obviously they are not. It wouldn't make a penny difference to the UK tax payer either way.

You are aware that If you’re not UK resident, you will not have to pay UK tax on your foreign income.

People just move back to the UK when they want to.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:56

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 11:47

Obviously I can’t see which posts have been deleted, but I assume some of them would have been your frequent, belittling refrain of ‘you’re ignorant’, ‘you’re blind to what’s going on in the world’. You responded like this to people who told you they manage to remain well informed without having to actually go to Dubai. You said similar when people made helpful suggestions about avoiding social media content if it’s seriously impacting your mental health.
It was a rude response. We all have our own lived experiences. Some of us read, talk to people, research and keep abreast of global issues and would never dream of spending time in Dubai precisely because we inform ourselves.

Ok, I apologise if my comment came across as offensive when I used the word “ignorant” without providing full context.

OP posts:
ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 11:57

NotMeAtAll · 06/03/2026 11:38

I feel very sorry for the poor immigrants who have to endure dreadful working conditions, and who can't afford to escape -war or not.

It's this group in particular who need to believe that they're safe at the moment. They are (relatively) safe, and they have no realistic exit route - far better that what they hear is about how it is safe than mass panic about what Iran might hit next. For some the lack of an exit at the moment may be entirely down to money, but for your average Afghani or Iranian person where the hell do you expect them to go to? What about the Lebanese or Iraqis? [Note there are rich Afghanis, Iranians, Lebanese and Iraqis in Dubai too and they have the same exist issues as the poor ones]. Even where their home country is safe, these are often people who support their whole families back home and have nothing to return to. It's not as simple as just picking up and going.

This low income group is also the group most impacted by panic buying - they can't afford to stock up and don't have place to store things even if they do.

Is it paternalistic? Yes. Is it potentially patronizing? Yes. Is it partly self-serving of the UAE government? Yes. At this point I couldn't care less though if it helps people get through each day without breaking down. There are around 10m people here and no way to quickly evacuate that many people. The situation isn't yet at the point where there is a need for everyone to be on the road. Look at what is happening in Lebanon right now - maybe that will be the UAE in a week, but for now it isn't. That's only 500k people on the road.

The government is quietly doing things to get people who have options to leave though. They ended school term early for example - that lets teachers leave without risking their jobs and encourages parents to leave as well (particularly the group that would always go home for the holidays). They're also putting considerable efforts into getting commercial flights out. And Oman is fairly quietly making it easier to cross the border as well.

EasternStandard · 06/03/2026 11:58

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 11:54

It seems you dislike that I’m sharing honest insight into what life there is really like. Have you ever actually lived in Dubai?

I never said expats shouldn’t receive help to return. I did, I came back and benefited from a system I hadn’t paid into for three years, but I had contributed to it for many years before leaving.

“Failed to become the influencer she dreamt she would be”? 😂 Please. Based on your comment Im guessing you’re an aspiring iNfLuEnCeR (sorry, “cOnTeNt CrEaTor”) and that’s why you’re so upset with my post.

In my view, influencers can be harmful because they push false narratives and sell people unrealistic dreams. Many end up trapped in difficult situations as a result.

You sound completely disconnected from the reality of living in Dubai, yet you’re here taking shots at someone who’s simply being honest enough to share the truth.

@surelycantjustbemeit’s fine to post about how Dubai wasn’t for you but everyone posting something else isn’t an influencer and offended. They just have a different take.

askmenow · 06/03/2026 11:59

Whatafustercluck · 06/03/2026 07:34

Not a fan then, op?

You write very well, I enjoyed reading your post.

I don't care much for Dubai, it's not my kind of place at all - either as a residence or a holiday destination. You make a good point about the tax. Perhaps they can contribute to their repatriation with the money they've saved.

Exactly this…☝️. They chose to leave, to reap financial rewards, avoid UK tax and live the glossy, superficial lifestyle.
Many are disparaging of this country, lauding a controlling, repressive regime yet they expect the rest of us taxpayers to rescue them in troubled times.
Any who chose to leave and work there should pay in full for their emergency repatriation.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 06/03/2026 12:02

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:33

I can’t just switch my algorithm and PP’s are suggesting, when the whole reason I’m on there is to research Dubai and understand what’s happening, to see how things might escalate. It’s not just about social media; it’s mainstream media and other news sources too.

That ‘switch your algorithm and pretend it’s not there’ attitude is the same as turning a blind eye in real life. If you don’t see it, it’s as if it doesn’t exist.

Mmmm disagree.
You can know it's there but not have it dictate your life.

I had to change my algorithms recently because I was sick of the stuff I kept seeing. It was making me angry and I don't want to live as an angry person.

Don't watch the news!
Best thing I did was stop watching the news. I still know what's going on in the world because it's everywhere but I choose to live as freely as I can.

We get one chance of life, make it a happy one

MyLuckyHelper · 06/03/2026 12:06

askmenow · 06/03/2026 11:59

Exactly this…☝️. They chose to leave, to reap financial rewards, avoid UK tax and live the glossy, superficial lifestyle.
Many are disparaging of this country, lauding a controlling, repressive regime yet they expect the rest of us taxpayers to rescue them in troubled times.
Any who chose to leave and work there should pay in full for their emergency repatriation.

Do they? Is there a huge cohort of expats in Dubai asking to be repatriated at a cost to the taxpayer? All the ones I've seen have said they want to stay.

MarianofSherwood · 06/03/2026 12:06

Rich countries have always had this kind of unequal system. Those who have made it will reside/move countries that will offer them a luxurious life-style and quality of life and tax havens (if given half the chance you would too OP, be honest with yourself. In fact, you did try. For three years) and i am sorry it didnt work out for you. And to enable these luxurious life-styles and quality of life for those who have "made it", those who have not made it will go to these very countries to serve. To work hard, save, go home. We do have nannies, cleaners, and drivers who leave their children to come work for rich families in the UK too.

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 12:07

milveycrohn · 06/03/2026 11:26

As I do not follow 'influences' in Dubai, I am not aware of all the stuff they say.
So I suggest you don't follow them.
Expats who live there will be living there for a variety of reasons, and not all will be 'influencer' roles.
I personally do not judge them

This. OP, How is getting wound up about the state of Dubai and what influencers are doing/saying helping you or anybody?

godmum56 · 06/03/2026 12:09

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 06/03/2026 12:02

Mmmm disagree.
You can know it's there but not have it dictate your life.

I had to change my algorithms recently because I was sick of the stuff I kept seeing. It was making me angry and I don't want to live as an angry person.

Don't watch the news!
Best thing I did was stop watching the news. I still know what's going on in the world because it's everywhere but I choose to live as freely as I can.

We get one chance of life, make it a happy one

This. Not sure why a choice to research it is helpful unless you can a) do something or b) its part of an education course or a requirement of your job.

Everynamehasgone99 · 06/03/2026 12:11

No country is morally perfect, so if that's what you're looking for then you cant live anywhere.

People want what is best for themselves and those closest to them and if moving to a comfortable, beautiful, safe and wealthy place with a low crime rate and luxuries they couldnt have at home, then good for them.

Sorry you had a bad time but your experience isnt everyone else's experience.

manateeplushie · 06/03/2026 12:12

I agree with everything you’ve put, but it’s hardly a rant if you just used AI to write it for you…

Marmalademorning · 06/03/2026 12:12

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 11:56

tax free lifestyle 😂

why does it matter so much to people about Dubai?
It's Dubai who might be "losing out" - obviously they are not. It wouldn't make a penny difference to the UK tax payer either way.

You are aware that If you’re not UK resident, you will not have to pay UK tax on your foreign income.

People just move back to the UK when they want to.

Edited

Because Dubai represents so much that those on the left resent - extravagance, wealth, luxury and success and also because it draws in rich wealthy westerners.

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 12:13

BoredZelda · 06/03/2026 11:48

A newborn baby isn’t quite the same as a person who has decided to leave the U.K. for a tax free lifestyle, complaining that the U.K. taxpayers won’t bail them out.

Could you give me an example of this person who is complaining the UK taxpayers won't bail them out?

I am sure they exist - some people are idiots - but I haven't actually heard anyone ask for a bail out. I suspect when they do it will be the same group who think the UK government will help out when they end up in debt and without money for a flight home in normal times. It will possibly be some of the same influencers posting now.

When people are in a position that they can talk freely and aren't worrying about scaring people, most of us appreciate that there are maybe 500k Brits living in the region and if even 200k of them do want to leave, there simply aren't commercial means to get them out quickly so would like the UK government to help. It's a massive logistical exercise to organize. But I'm not hearing people asking for this for free. I would fight for there to be loans i.e. no one is being asked for cash before getting on a plane/boat. Now some of those people will never pay back that loan, but then charge more to cover that risk!

EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 12:15

@surelycantjustbeme "you’re here taking shots at someone who’s simply being honest enough to share the truth."

i'm still waiting to hear this truth from you.

I've travelled a lot, but this is not a region I would go to. Particularly in the current situation, I would welcome some information. I only really hear about Dubai on MN.

But you don't seem keen to share any information.

TorroFerney · 06/03/2026 12:16

I’ve just seen a chap interviewed by Australian tv on arriving back in Sydney who was saying yes I was terrified , was staying near the hotel that was hit I am so glad to get back. The awful comments from people who I assume are in Dubai are something else, he’s gay hes lying he’s a coward etc etc. and then a family cheering that they didn’t get on a flight out as they get to spend more time in fabulous Dubai.

but would agree with others op, you need to change the algorithm!

Hameth · 06/03/2026 12:17

PeonyPatch · 06/03/2026 07:23

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

bang on… also, you write so well!!

Does anybody here remember Watership Down? Early on the rabbits meet sleek healthy rabbits who are friendly... but its a self inflicted trap. The farmer leaves loads of carrots but snares them every now and again... the price of the 🥕 🥕 is death. But they all pretend it isn't happening and in fact celebrate it. That's Dubai.

Crikeyalmighty · 06/03/2026 12:18

What I find so ironic is you get a lot of the ‘uk has gone to pot due to Muslims’ kind of mentality living there ( think Richard Tice etc) - the ‘we may as well be under sharia law in the UK’ kind of attitude and then opt to go and live somewhere that is indeed a Muslim country under sharia law-!! But hey, it’s tax free, sunny and warm and dodgy in many ways- so suits em nicely as the Muslim population are either ( in the main) comfortably off Emiratis or those kept poor and know their place. It’s like, I’m ok with sharia law elsewhere but let’s convince gullible Brits to hate on each other by using it as a negative tool to blame all the wrongs in society on certain sections of society . To me it’s utter hypocrisy - but it wouldn’t go down so well by being honest and saying that a lot of societies ills in the UK ( and elsewhere too) come down to pure human greed and the desire for power, assets, cash and also the changing mentality in society, wanting to make money quickly and opt out of work/contributing , - it has also encouraged the idea that homes are ATMs that constantly gain value rather than somewhere to live - I’m a realist, and politically very much in the centre, I do believe in making money both individually and business and I don’t believe in making it cushy for those with a can’t be arsed mentality, however I do also believe in strong social support when needed . The reason the UK has to some extent gone to pot is little that Starmer is doing, he was dealt a very shit hand and shirt buttons to do it with, it’s right wing policies and a lack of long term planning over the previous 45 years, ( same changed in Blair/brown years but not enough, quick enough) selling off utilities, selling off state housing , a needless Brexit that has seen plenty of good business leave for elsewhere or cease- local councils losing most state funding, bringing in people cashing in private pensions at 55 and therefore no longer paying NI via work- it’s a whole raft of things and it was always going to come and bite on the arse at some point - Covid and Brexit simply escalated it here . I’ve always said if you live in an averagely crappy bit of the UK ( and I’m back in my original pretty grim home town for a few days for an event) Dubai to many not thinking that deeply seems like paradise - and i can guarantee here in Reformland , if I mentioned subservient work practices, dodgy business , seedy sexwork type stuff etc , very few would give a monkeys, they are more interested in constantly booking cheap weeks away and the glamorous looking images they see , because living somewhere pretty grim grinds you down-

EasternStandard · 06/03/2026 12:20

Hameth · 06/03/2026 12:17

Does anybody here remember Watership Down? Early on the rabbits meet sleek healthy rabbits who are friendly... but its a self inflicted trap. The farmer leaves loads of carrots but snares them every now and again... the price of the 🥕 🥕 is death. But they all pretend it isn't happening and in fact celebrate it. That's Dubai.

Not for everyone clearly. Since many people stay by choice.

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 12:20

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 12:13

Could you give me an example of this person who is complaining the UK taxpayers won't bail them out?

I am sure they exist - some people are idiots - but I haven't actually heard anyone ask for a bail out. I suspect when they do it will be the same group who think the UK government will help out when they end up in debt and without money for a flight home in normal times. It will possibly be some of the same influencers posting now.

When people are in a position that they can talk freely and aren't worrying about scaring people, most of us appreciate that there are maybe 500k Brits living in the region and if even 200k of them do want to leave, there simply aren't commercial means to get them out quickly so would like the UK government to help. It's a massive logistical exercise to organize. But I'm not hearing people asking for this for free. I would fight for there to be loans i.e. no one is being asked for cash before getting on a plane/boat. Now some of those people will never pay back that loan, but then charge more to cover that risk!

Edited

Of an estimated 300,000 Brits resident in Gulf states, 103,000 have registered for British Government assistance. They're not complaining they won't get support from the British taxpayer because they will.

Eta, it's not about it being free, exactly the point you make. If it were just the cost of a flight they'd be able to help themselves. They're wanting support from the system, which they have avoided paying for.

LifeAdminAlways · 06/03/2026 12:21

Eatingricecrispieswithafork · 06/03/2026 11:33

Im with the OP, I liv3din Saudi in the 80sas a child, worse year of my life.

Not allowed to celebrate any religion aside from Islam.
Having to cover up as not to offend
Yet was used as a sexual plaything bythe same men

Fucking great experience

Yet it's protected by the usa and us cause of the oil

It's a shithole of a country masquerading as a 5 star holiday destination as is Dubai to a slightly lesser extent but still

Agreed. As a UK born liberal Muslim I will never go to either place. The hypocrisy and double standards and the lack of human rights are repulsive.Having seen first-hand how the poverty-stricken Asian immigrants from my parents’ country are exploited and treated, I will never go there. And they are exploited by everyone wealthy: white, Arabs and Asians.

I think less of anyone from the west who holidays there or who goes there as an immigrant (using the correct term, not expat 🙄🙄🙄).

I would never say anything in real life though. I would just smile and say how lovely when people are describing their time in Dubai.

ahemrepeat · 06/03/2026 12:22

@EmeraldRoulette there's a lot of bullshit about Dubai online. There's also a lot of truth online. It is most definitely correct that the Dubai (and wider UAE) government spend an enormous amount on curating the country's image in 'normal' times.

Obviously you should not travel to the region at the moment! Some people are travelling in but that's either (1) people currently in worse positions - I'd take Dubai over Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Lebanon or Iran (doubt the latter is possible), (2) people who have a good reason they need to be back (I know people separated from children for example), and (3) complete idiots.

EmeraldRoulette · 06/03/2026 12:26

@ahemrepeat I thought I had phrased that clearly enough but perhaps I didn't

I don't go to that region. I'm particularly interested to hear about it now though. But I won't go.

Hameth · 06/03/2026 12:29

EasternStandard · 06/03/2026 12:20

Not for everyone clearly. Since many people stay by choice.

That was the point. The fat rabbits chose luxury and pretended to ignore it when death took a friend. The hero rabbits fled.

Dollymylove · 06/03/2026 12:31

Uninstall Insta OP, and give us all a rest 🤣

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