Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you’re mourning the loss of Ayatollah Ali Khameni in the U.K., why do you want to live in the U.K.?

299 replies

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 06:46

This is just a genuine question, and maybe a little ignorant on my part. But if you essentially worship someone who hates the West and everything the West stands for so much, why do you choose to live in the U.K.? Surely you must hate living here and would prefer to live in countries which follow similar repressive approaches as the IR, so why wouldn’t you move there?

And why has the U.K. allowed the Iranian’s to have an Embassy in London for so long, if they are so anti the West and are such a big security threat to our freedom.

This isn’t a goading post and has nothing to do with moderate Islam, I just don’t understand if you have such extreme views, why you choose to stay in a country that goes against everything you believe in?

OP posts:
SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 05/03/2026 09:08

OP who in the UK is mourning the ayatollah?!

DotAndCarryOne2 · 05/03/2026 09:09

ExtraOnions · 05/03/2026 08:52

I find the notion that you can only live in a country if you agree with it’s (majority) values, a bit odd.

Should all the Westerners in the ME be deported, because they don’t agree with the Values of their Muslim hosts? And before anyone comes back with “yea but they stick to the Muslim rules” don’t kid yourself. My Best mate lived out on a base in Saudi, they all drank, and were shagging each other.. so zero respect given there. Are the people in Dubai respectful of Islamic norms and customs?

There’s a bit of a difference between drinking and shagging and committing terrorist acts don’t you think ?

Duvetdayneeded · 05/03/2026 09:09

A society at UCL are mourning that , as someone else described him, that C$€$, says it all about them. Shocking.

ArrghNoJustNo · 05/03/2026 09:11

ExtraOnions · 05/03/2026 08:52

I find the notion that you can only live in a country if you agree with it’s (majority) values, a bit odd.

Should all the Westerners in the ME be deported, because they don’t agree with the Values of their Muslim hosts? And before anyone comes back with “yea but they stick to the Muslim rules” don’t kid yourself. My Best mate lived out on a base in Saudi, they all drank, and were shagging each other.. so zero respect given there. Are the people in Dubai respectful of Islamic norms and customs?

It’s always odd to me when someone (no matter who) willingly lives in a country (no matter which) they claim to hate or fundamentally disagree with. It's different if you're born there and trapped there.

The only explanation is that the advantages outweigh the resentment. It becomes a matter of convenience, not conviction.

Honestly, it’s not that different from staying in a miserable job or an unhappy relationship (Not talking about people trapped in dangerous situations). People often tolerate situations they dislike because what they benefit from it is worth more.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 05/03/2026 09:11

Lifesd · 05/03/2026 08:25

I’m in Australia OP and at our senior leadership meeting we were told there are several people in our organisation who are in “full mourning” for the ayatollah and to be respectful. I think it’s appalling and anyone mourning him
or that regime should take themselves off to a Islamic republic of their choice and not be in a country with western values to be honest. Ditto for anyone holding vigils in the UK.

fifth column Islamists and dangerous white left wingers who despise anything aligned with Israel and the US.

My Iranian friends are rejoicing

Nefrititi · 05/03/2026 09:12

BeAvidHiker · 05/03/2026 07:07

Notice all the faux, wide eyed ignorance and surprise on this thread.

‘Oh we don’t know what you’re talking about’

‘No one ever supports foreign despots in this country’

‘There is simply no problem such as the one you’re describing’

The gaslighting just doesn’t work anymore. Everyone can see wha actually happens.

Couldn’t agree more!!

BobLemon · 05/03/2026 09:12

ThatCyanCat · 05/03/2026 09:02

The deputy leader of the Green Party among many others.

Former labour MP Mohammad Sarwar is another.

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 09:12

@Agrumpyknitteryou make such a good and important point! I think multiculturalism does work, I lived in a very diverse part of London for over 25 years, where Turks, Jews, Muslims and Christians all lived (and still do) live happily and it brings so much to the community. I do, however, believe that extremist views should not be tolerated… and sometimes I feel as a country we’re too scared to ever mention this because we’re scared to offend and that has to stop!

OP posts:
domenica1 · 05/03/2026 09:12

I don’t think many would argue that immigrants must abandon all their own beliefs and traditions. In fact your family sounds like the perfect example of integration. I had always understood anti - multiculturalism to be a dislike of a system that allows communities that remain cut off from the rest of the uk — for example when arrivals don’t learn the language or mix outside their own communities or women don’t leave the home.

domenica1 · 05/03/2026 09:13

Sorry post in response to @Agrumpyknitter

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 09:14

@SlightlyTerrifiedButPolitethe only social media I am on is Mumsnet! I saw it being reported in the U.K. press.

OP posts:
skippy67 · 05/03/2026 09:14

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 07:01

@Pinkissmartwow! Nobody can dare to ask a question regarding extreme Islam anymore? I’ll get back in my box!

Yay!!

DotAndCarryOne2 · 05/03/2026 09:14

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 05/03/2026 09:08

OP who in the UK is mourning the ayatollah?!

Edited

The mourning of the Ayatollah is being reported in mainstream news outlets. And there are those among us who would seek to harm us because they don’t share our values. It’s naive to think otherwise.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 05/03/2026 09:14

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 08:58

@ExtraOnionsi find this point interesting. Mainly because there are huge human rights atrocities happening in countries like Dubai etc, but influencer culture will never talk about. Yes, you quite rightly say a lot of western behaviours are tolerated, but it’s my understanding that this is done in a controlled way under the careful watch of those in charge! For example you can drink in certain hotels etc etc but not on a picnic on the beach etc! Same with PDA, but I might be wrong.

i am not saying people are not allowed different views to traditional western vies, but if you are celebrating someone that murders its own citizens, murders women for being raped and gauges women’s eyes out…. What possibly can you like about living in the U.K.? Our country is constantly criticised but we are open, welcoming, and tolerant! Anyone who is against women having rights is not following British values in my book and I think that’s ok to say.

We used to be open, welcoming and tolerant. Many people still are. But we have a growing number of extremists of our own these days who are hell bent on changing our country into a much less tolerant and civilised society. E.g. the Reform voters who are so eager get rid of our hard won rights to equality and protection under the law.

I would very much like to stamp out extremism in the UK - including Islamic extremist and far right racist extremism. Our society would be all the better for getting rid of these people, but I don't quite know how we could achieve this.

As for Iran, I haven't come across a single person who is sad about the Ayatollah's death. There are people who don't agree with the way in which this war has been conducted by the US and Israel, but that is a quite different argument and doesn't in any way reflect support for the Iranian Regime. It's a bit like Trump - many of us view him as a very dangerous man who is a serious threat to the stability of the entire world, but that doesn't mean that we would support another country declaring war on the US to take him out.

EasternStandard · 05/03/2026 09:16

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 05/03/2026 09:11

fifth column Islamists and dangerous white left wingers who despise anything aligned with Israel and the US.

My Iranian friends are rejoicing

I think most would be rejoicing too. There are a few mentioned below but likely outliers.

campaignforreasonabledebate · 05/03/2026 09:17

I think its a discussion worth having. Hopefully reasonably - as my username seeks to invite!

I personally find the issue of the death of Ayatollah Khameni a difficult one. I have little doubt that his death is of benefit overall - what might be described as the greater good (if that phrase has not been ruined by Hot Fuzz!). I too know many Iranians who are - in that sense - delighted. However, I find it difficult to celebrate or rejoice in the killing of someone, however bad that person's actions may have been, rather than to rejoice in the fact that they are no longer able to inflict the harm that they have. I also harbour real concerns about the precedent that the US 'strike' represents. I genuinely understand the pragmatic considerations, but the disregard for international law (such as it is) is troubling. I genuinely wonder what I would have done if the decision to strike or not strike was mine.

I guess what I really mean is that I find it difficult to understand why people would celebrate his life, but can understand why people might be concerned about the manner of his death.

As regards the embassy, I have always held the view that it is better to have the ability to communicate with those who you disagree with, and that an embassy probably helps with this, however uncomfortable the presence of that nation may be.

ArrghNoJustNo · 05/03/2026 09:18

Agrumpyknitter · 05/03/2026 09:03

When we get the trope that multiculturalism has failed you ignore all the other races, Chinese, Indian, Nigerian and others who have settled here and have had children who have integrated well. There are a significant number of the Muslim community who have also integrated but you do get pockets of society who don’t want to.

The thing that is creeping into this society that it just as dangerous as extreme islam is Christian fundamentalism that is being imported from the US. Christian fundamentalism means that the man is the head of the household, he votes for the family, the wife should submit to his guidance and there is no bodily autonomy. Both extremes want to control women and that’s something we should all be concerned about.

I’m born here and I am Indian. My family and community have integrated well. I am better educated than a lot of white British people who are born here and know more about the culture than a lot of others thanks to my English degree. So you can quite frankly go stuff your whole multiculturalism doesn’t work theory.

When we get the trope that multiculturalism has failed you ignore all the other races, Chinese, Indian, Nigerian and others who have settled here and have had children who have integrated well. There are a significant number of the Muslim community who have also integrated but you do get pockets of society who don’t want to.

The thing that is creeping into this society that it just as dangerous as extreme islam is Christian fundamentalism that is being imported from the US. Christian fundamentalism means that the man is the head of the household, he votes for the family, the wife should submit to his guidance and there is no bodily autonomy. Both extremes want to control women and that’s something we should all be concerned about.

Agree.

AliceandOscar · 05/03/2026 09:18

There is so much stupid fear mongering going on at the moment and so many people believe things which feed into their own view of the world.
What annoys me so much is the whole ‘Muslims are taking over the U.K.’ when even a simple google shows you that only 6.5% of the U.K. population is Muslim so I guess when people are talking about how many Muslims they see everyday, what they are really saying is they hate all the non white people they see everyday is a completely different thing.

1apenny2apenny · 05/03/2026 09:18

The marches and vigils have been on the news. I’ve heard men calling in saying for many he was their religious leader and they are mourning him. His policies centred on Shia Islamist and his aim was to export the Islamic revolution. He’s done quite a good job if you look at those attending these marches/vigils. These people are a danger to our country and the reason why countries like Saudi are stopping students come here. There is a big extreme Islamic threat here and no I don’t liken it to the extreme Christian groups in the US (although I don’t like those either).

The people who support the IRG call for death to America and UK.

The Iranians in our country FLED his regime, they seem to me to be peace loving, very forward thinking people who just want to live their lives normally.

PigletJohn · 05/03/2026 09:22

Strawman.

Ponoka7 · 05/03/2026 09:23

I've tried to find links but they are behind pay wallls, or non approved of news outlets.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.jewishnews.co.uk/university-college-london-islamic-society-mourns-ayatollahs-death-and-urges-muslims-to-remain-ready/amp/
A lot of the vigils etc are mainly attended by men. It's a interesting question to pose to them.
There's been arrests because those Muslims who came out in support of his killing, were attacked and counter protests took place. On day one I said it would be another band wagon for the white middle class wankers and unfortunately they have jumped on aboard.

Ponoka7 · 05/03/2026 09:26

@AliceandOscar for such a small percentage they kill, injury and sexually assault women and girls, massively disproportionately. Or are we in total denial about how women are thought of under Islam?

maudelovesharold · 05/03/2026 09:26

I really don’t think your target audience is going to be on MN, op.

pottylolly · 05/03/2026 09:27

The people mourning him aren’t Iranian. They tend to be Pakistani or Iraqi migrants to Iran.

ApplebyArrows · 05/03/2026 09:27

Very few people are mourning for the Ayatollah. Quite a lot of people think, as a matter of principle, Trump shouldn't be allowed to kill other heads of state no matter how bad they are, that actions that lead to the mass deaths of schoolgirls are utterly deplorable, etc. etc. And some people would like to confuse the second group with the first in order to discourage anyone else from questioning US belligerence.