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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you’re mourning the loss of Ayatollah Ali Khameni in the U.K., why do you want to live in the U.K.?

299 replies

dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 06:46

This is just a genuine question, and maybe a little ignorant on my part. But if you essentially worship someone who hates the West and everything the West stands for so much, why do you choose to live in the U.K.? Surely you must hate living here and would prefer to live in countries which follow similar repressive approaches as the IR, so why wouldn’t you move there?

And why has the U.K. allowed the Iranian’s to have an Embassy in London for so long, if they are so anti the West and are such a big security threat to our freedom.

This isn’t a goading post and has nothing to do with moderate Islam, I just don’t understand if you have such extreme views, why you choose to stay in a country that goes against everything you believe in?

OP posts:
dancingredshoes · 05/03/2026 09:43

@AliceandOscarplease see my follow up posts, admitting I was a bit ignorant to write this and mentioning the Chinese embassy etc!

OP posts:
notabingthing · 05/03/2026 09:43

notabingthing · 05/03/2026 09:41

I agree with you op, you don’t go to live in a westernised country and then slate its people and culture. That’d be like me going to live in the Middle East and saying I hate everything it stands for. Don’t make sense ! Or is it because our country dishes out everything on a plate ?! Call me racist, I don’t care, anyone with a brain knows this is why our country is desirable.

And no before anyone jumps on, I'm not talking about those immigrants that actually contribute to our society and work and make an effort to integrate, just the ones that don’t and seem to actively hate westerners.

NotnowMildrid · 05/03/2026 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It’s a very simple, fair and valid question.

You clearly do not believe in freedom of speech.

GlomOfNit · 05/03/2026 09:44

BeAvidHiker · 05/03/2026 07:05

Do you not watch the news?

Yes. More or less constantly. And I monitor various quality online versions of newspapers too. I haven't seen one single report 'on the news' about people celebrating his death in the UK, so I can only assume you're referring to GB news, the Daily Mail or similar very RW outlets who will want to promote an anti-Islamist POV.

AliceandOscar · 05/03/2026 09:46

AlecTrevelyan006 · 05/03/2026 09:40

and yet trans women, who make up maybe 0.5% of the population have, along with their 'allies' pretty much influenced every public institution in the country.

It's not always the absolute numbers that matter.

Trans women make a lot of noise, I agree but their ability to run a country as a group is nonexistent. Most people just let them get on with it because it has very little impact on their daily life.
Muslims trying to take over the U.K. and force their religion on everyone as right wing groups claim, is just silly thinking from people looking for a reason to hate anyone who doesn’t look like them.

EasternStandard · 05/03/2026 09:46

Teddleshon1 · 05/03/2026 09:41

There are indeed a number of services mourning the Ayatollah taking place around the UK. I too can’t for the life of me understand why or how someone who thinks the way the IRGC rules is admirable could tolerate living in the UK.

But then I can’t understand how anyone in the UK can vote for a Political Party who has Mothin Ali as its Deputy Leader. Surely you’d be happier in a Muslim majority country.

The people mentioned on this thread such as Ali are any Iranian?

I think the Persian people are mostly rejoicing not mourning. As is understandable given the violent oppression they’ve faced.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 05/03/2026 09:47

MissyB1 · 05/03/2026 08:34

Definitely a goady thread, loads of them around at the moment.

A goady thread about a vile mass murdering dictator? Mind you, loads of Communists here mourned the fall of the Berlin wall.

Catza · 05/03/2026 09:47

Winter2020 · 05/03/2026 09:27

Oh yeah we all travel on a tube, catch a London bus or attend a pop concert terrified of what those Christian fundamentalists are going to do next (not) and the Jewish synagogues needing to ramp up security to protect themselves against another crazed Christian (again not).

No, but you might think twice about going to an abortion clinic...

Imbrocator · 05/03/2026 09:47

Because people are hypocrites. People who hate our country come here for exactly the same reasons that British people who hate the values of places like Dubai or Saudi Arabia go there. They’re rich, profitable societies with lots of rewards for the people who can make a life there. The difference is that the UK on the whole has tolerance for differences in belief baked in, and much less punitive punishments for transgressing the law.

I find anyone morally objectionable who is willing to compromise their morals in order to benefit from the fruits of a system they hate.

In the end though, that’s human nature. It’s up to the individual countries to acknowledge that there will always be people (within and without the country) who want to take from an open hand while disdaining the very reasons that country has wealth to share, and to put systems in place to prevent that.

There will always be people who deify men who mass murder, torture and desecrate. It’s revolting but true. In an open society we rightly allow freedom of opinion and the right to disagree. We should also have guard rails that prevent people with clearly repugnant opinions from attaining the ability to demolish the values that made our country a good place to live in the first place.

roundaboutthehillsareshining · 05/03/2026 09:49

I can regret the way that he died, as I believe political assassination is always a dangerous, unjustified act. I can also regret that his wife, daughter, daughter in law and grandchild were killed in the attack.

Political assassination also generally doesn't achieve the aims of the assassin. It would lead to much more stability if Iran was supported to its own revolution, then provided with aid and assistance to rebuild and redevelop.

XelaM · 05/03/2026 09:50

Maybe people don't support the USA going into any country whose leaders they don't like (and that just happens to have a lot of oil/gas resources) and just bombing them, killing/kidnapping their leaders and putting the world at the brink of WWIII. I am Jewish, but I am absolutely ashamed and aghast at the Netanyahu/Trump pair of international criminals and absolutely do not support what the USA/Israel are doing in Iran. I think war with Iran is absolute madness.

ArrghNoJustNo · 05/03/2026 09:50

Trans women make a lot of noise, I agree but their ability to run a country as a group is nonexistent. Most people just let them get on with it because it has very little impact on their daily life.

I think people losing their jobs and a case having to go to the supreme court in order to decide what a woman is isn't quite making "a lot of noise but most people just let them get on with it because it has very little impact on their daily life."

Lilactimes · 05/03/2026 09:50

GlomOfNit · 05/03/2026 09:44

Yes. More or less constantly. And I monitor various quality online versions of newspapers too. I haven't seen one single report 'on the news' about people celebrating his death in the UK, so I can only assume you're referring to GB news, the Daily Mail or similar very RW outlets who will want to promote an anti-Islamist POV.

Not seen any reports of anyone mourning his death in the UK either.

And in terms of the questions why live here? There are many westerners who live in the ME - with all the different values that entails and create their own enclaves and still enjoy living in that country.

Teddleshon1 · 05/03/2026 09:50

@EasternStandard I very much doubt there’s a single Iranian living in the UK (outside the Embassy) mourning the death of the Ayatollah.

Dweetfidilove · 05/03/2026 09:51

People mourning the death of all kinds of people, so this isn't all that perplexing. There will always be sympathisers of all types of absolute evils.

In answering some of your post though...

But if you essentially worship someone who hates the West and everything the West stands for so much, why do you choose to live in the U.K.?
For the same reason Westerners are in those countries- OPPORTUNITIES! Kinda not hard to figure really when there aredaily threads about people fleeing the UK to countries whose laws and politics they disagree with. You go where you need to, for the benefits it brings you.

And why has the U.K. allowed the Iranian’s to have an Embassy in London for so long, if they are so anti the West and are such a big security threat to our freedom.
Mutual relationships between countries- UK/ Iranian relations have always existed in some form (hostility included), many Iranians here...

ArrghNoJustNo · 05/03/2026 09:52

Imbrocator · 05/03/2026 09:47

Because people are hypocrites. People who hate our country come here for exactly the same reasons that British people who hate the values of places like Dubai or Saudi Arabia go there. They’re rich, profitable societies with lots of rewards for the people who can make a life there. The difference is that the UK on the whole has tolerance for differences in belief baked in, and much less punitive punishments for transgressing the law.

I find anyone morally objectionable who is willing to compromise their morals in order to benefit from the fruits of a system they hate.

In the end though, that’s human nature. It’s up to the individual countries to acknowledge that there will always be people (within and without the country) who want to take from an open hand while disdaining the very reasons that country has wealth to share, and to put systems in place to prevent that.

There will always be people who deify men who mass murder, torture and desecrate. It’s revolting but true. In an open society we rightly allow freedom of opinion and the right to disagree. We should also have guard rails that prevent people with clearly repugnant opinions from attaining the ability to demolish the values that made our country a good place to live in the first place.

Well said.

EasternStandard · 05/03/2026 09:52

Teddleshon1 · 05/03/2026 09:50

@EasternStandard I very much doubt there’s a single Iranian living in the UK (outside the Embassy) mourning the death of the Ayatollah.

@Teddleshon1I’d say you’re right on that.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 05/03/2026 09:53

If the UK feels so strongly about Iran and Iranians, then why do they join in wars which will only create more refugees.
As a side note - The UK also used (millions of ££) of taxpayers money to fund the war on Syria. The result? Al Qaeda are now in power. And the worst thing - the British Government literally invited members of Al Qaeda to the UK in November 2025 to officially reopen the embassy. (And ironically, they removed HTS from the proscribed terrorist organisation list to be able to invite them without breaking their own terrorism laws. Lol)

Muffinmam · 05/03/2026 09:53

Pinkissmart · 05/03/2026 06:59

‘This isn’t a goading post’

Yes, it is

No. It isn’t.

Being able to discuss world affairs (including a now deceased tyrannical dictator) is an essential part of Western democracy.

After Iran directed at least two attacks on Australian soil in 2024 Australia shut down the Iranian embassy and expelled Iran’s ambassador.

I have never met an Iranian person who resides in Australia and supports the Ayatollah. The Iranian people that I have met have come here to pursue freedom, obtain an education and build businesses.

It isn’t “goady” to question why people move to a Western country and attempt to re-create societies that infringe on the rights of women and gay people.

We should be able to have a conversation that is respectful to both sides.

Beachtastic · 05/03/2026 09:54

I'm just hoping that these demos will help identify the extremists among us. Useful information.

JellyCatonToast · 05/03/2026 09:54

AliceandOscar · 05/03/2026 09:18

There is so much stupid fear mongering going on at the moment and so many people believe things which feed into their own view of the world.
What annoys me so much is the whole ‘Muslims are taking over the U.K.’ when even a simple google shows you that only 6.5% of the U.K. population is Muslim so I guess when people are talking about how many Muslims they see everyday, what they are really saying is they hate all the non white people they see everyday is a completely different thing.

What is actually wrong with people? What relevance does this have to the OP’s question and why are so many people trying to shut down open conversation?

KimberleyClark · 05/03/2026 09:55

ExtraOnions · 05/03/2026 08:52

I find the notion that you can only live in a country if you agree with it’s (majority) values, a bit odd.

Should all the Westerners in the ME be deported, because they don’t agree with the Values of their Muslim hosts? And before anyone comes back with “yea but they stick to the Muslim rules” don’t kid yourself. My Best mate lived out on a base in Saudi, they all drank, and were shagging each other.. so zero respect given there. Are the people in Dubai respectful of Islamic norms and customs?

And anyone who goes on holiday to Tunisia and wears an arse baring thong bikini?

Findingmypurposeinlife · 05/03/2026 09:55

Muffinmam · 05/03/2026 09:53

No. It isn’t.

Being able to discuss world affairs (including a now deceased tyrannical dictator) is an essential part of Western democracy.

After Iran directed at least two attacks on Australian soil in 2024 Australia shut down the Iranian embassy and expelled Iran’s ambassador.

I have never met an Iranian person who resides in Australia and supports the Ayatollah. The Iranian people that I have met have come here to pursue freedom, obtain an education and build businesses.

It isn’t “goady” to question why people move to a Western country and attempt to re-create societies that infringe on the rights of women and gay people.

We should be able to have a conversation that is respectful to both sides.

But when we are talking about 'tyrannical dictatorships' why are Saudi and other gulf countries never mentioned.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 05/03/2026 09:57

GlomOfNit · 05/03/2026 09:44

Yes. More or less constantly. And I monitor various quality online versions of newspapers too. I haven't seen one single report 'on the news' about people celebrating his death in the UK, so I can only assume you're referring to GB news, the Daily Mail or similar very RW outlets who will want to promote an anti-Islamist POV.

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/ayatollah-vigil-london-mosque-died-irgc-iran-war-dk50f0mx5?gaa_at=eafs&gaa_n=AWEtsqfOWqadz22iokKvELwEOGsqhdQHqBZVaby9nw7jAH2R8IOS_ZFY_Tls0Jg6I9U%3D&gaa_ts=69a95521&gaa_sig=xv1N3hzvvJZtL0-OJ4fj-GZA_62cWIwQeofhDkl-3_8hi3W-cD14FtAnBuQrcANzeiAC0SGe487PIFIbS5pn9w%3D%3D

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/03/british-students-mourn-iran-supreme-leader-khamenei/

https://news.sky.com/video/uk-crowds-rally-both-against-and-in-support-of-death-of-iran-leader-13515352

https://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/25908141.event-mourning-irans-ayatollah-khamenei-held-watford/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd03yz2dj4go

https://www.facebook.com/SkyNewsAustralia/videos/absolutely-shocking-mosques-holding-days-of-mourning-for-ali-khamenei/1642225003446445/

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2177433/ucl-islamic-society-mourns-iran-Khamenei-martyr

https://www.facebook.com/ManchesterEveningNews/posts/scores-of-rival-protestors-faced-off-in-manchester-last-night-over-the-ongoing-c/1390308419798186/

Vigils at British mosques for ‘martyr’ Ayatollah Khamenei

Iran’s supreme leader, killed in an Israeli airstrike, has been mourned at student organisations across the country — where IRGC leaflets are shared

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/ayatollah-vigil-london-mosque-died-irgc-iran-war-dk50f0mx5?gaa_at=eafs&gaa_n=AWEtsqfOWqadz22iokKvELwEOGsqhdQHqBZVaby9nw7jAH2R8IOS_ZFY_Tls0Jg6I9U%3D&gaa_sig=xv1N3hzvvJZtL0-OJ4fj-GZA_62cWIwQeofhDkl-3_8hi3W-cD14FtAnBuQrcANzeiAC0SGe487PIFIbS5pn9w%3D%3D&gaa_ts=69a95521

TwelvePiecesOfFlair · 05/03/2026 09:57

AliceandOscar · 05/03/2026 09:46

Trans women make a lot of noise, I agree but their ability to run a country as a group is nonexistent. Most people just let them get on with it because it has very little impact on their daily life.
Muslims trying to take over the U.K. and force their religion on everyone as right wing groups claim, is just silly thinking from people looking for a reason to hate anyone who doesn’t look like them.

I think you are missing the point… I doubt anyone thinks “ trans women” are running the country. But what has happened is that policies in Gov, education and law have been implemented benefitting people who believe in the ability to change sex, as well as blurring the data relating to men who follow this belief.
A minority can absolutely change everything if they are vocal/ violent enough.
OP God knows why anyone would be mourning the Ayatollah but I hope MI6 is keeping a close eye on them.
As for demographics of Muslims in this country it’s a bit misleading to quote UK wide figures. In the big cities it’s between 15 % and 30%, and in all cities the Islamic population has risen a lot in the past 10 years.
This should be a neutral fact but it probably does influence how vocal the extremist minority is comfortable being.