Dh always miserable on birthday

[Blackeyedsun]

It was his birthday yesterday, Dd and I made a cake based on his favourite chocolate bar, blew up balloons, cards-handmade and bought, a couple of small gifts-not expensive as we are going away and don’t go over the top for each other. We blew some balloons up, Dd is little and loves the planning and excitement of it. We had his cake and coffee ready in the morning and were singing to him before work and he looked quite miserable, it was just quiet and awkward and an anti climax. When it’s my birthday I make it fun and look happy for the sake of Dd
It was the same last year, in the evening we had his takeaway of choice (went out the following weekend) and he was saying he felt really down

If he didn't want it, he COULD HAVE SAID SO! Years ago. He could have told his wife. But...no. He hurt his child instead. OP's posts suggests he's just a miserable so and so. I absolutely loathe and detest my birthday. But to my mum and others, it's important to them. So I plaster on a happy face, and get in the mood. I would never want my child to feel like shit. He is an adult that can say what he wants/doesn't want to his own wife, he does NOT HAVE TO make his little girl feel so small like her dad doesn't appreciate her love and thoughtfulness. And turn away and not see the hurt and bewilderment in her eyes.

Then WHY DOESN'T HE FKING SAY SOMETHING!!!? Instead of causing his little girl to feel so hurt and rejected He's an adult, for fuck sake! You don't do that to your child!

No, it's vile to hurt your own child!

Oh for fucks sake! The OP is NOT being controlling! If he didn't want it, he could have said so!!! He is a grown adult! There is NO EXCUSE for hurting your own child!

Given that OP has refused to come back and ignored multiple questions asking if she has ever asked him what he wants there's every chance he has said so and she's ridden roughshod over those wishes because her daughter's need to make a fuss is apparently more important.

So no, he shouldn't have been short with his daughter but neither should OP have put her daughter in that position.

Really? Simply because she hasn't been back you immediately leap to the judgement that she has ignored his wishes? Do you honestly think that she would put her child in that position? I think it's fanciful to leap to the assumption you have. I think she knows her husband. I doubt very much she would do it if he hadn't liked it before.
To be honest if I were the OP this would be one of the last straws. I would demand he get therapy for his depression or whatever it is, or I would walk. I would not ever want to see that hurt in my daughter's eyes again.

Judged it as absolutely what happened? No. Judged it as a strong possibility absolutely. All she has said in any responses is that he's always grumpy and she's certain he'd be worse with no fuss at all and how much her DD likes to make a fuss. No confirmation at all that she has ever actually discussed it with him.