Friend keeps asking me for a job - getting exhausting!

[fireandice26]

Hi,

I have a friend who wants to work at the company I work at. It's a VERY large company that we all know of. Her area of expertise isn't my field (so she would be in a completely different department).

She asked me every few weeks for a job - as if it is something I can magic up. It's not. It's REALLY not. Then upped it to nearly every time we spoke. Granted; it wasn't EVERY time we spoke - but that said; she would moan about her job and how much she needed a change and how she 'needed someone to help her...' so we would directly or indirectly get onto this topic.

She applied directly via the site and got rejected for three roles. No interview/chat. Just a direct 'no'. She now is looking for a job at another arm (but same parent company) and asked me to refer her. I simply cannot do this - (I'd have even less (than zero) 'pull' at the other arm of the company!!)

Before anyone points out the obvious; yes I have told her MULTIPLE times that getting a job isn't as simple as she thinks it is. She seems to think I can just pass on her CV to my bosses and she'd be moved to the top of the queue... and BAM... the role is hers!

I also told her to please stop asking me as it's making me really uncomfortable and damaging our friendship.

Last week, she brought it up again and upped the ante big time since she's now been let go from her current job. Whilst I get the urgency given the change in her circumstances; AIBU to just distance myself/ghost at this point?

If shes actually a friend I would offer to look through her cv and application and give advice. If shes more of an acquaintance who youre not overly fond of then just ignore her and focus on your actual friends.

Oh I did this way back. In fairness, she thanked me for that. But that is not so much the 'help' she wants - she just wants a job offer to land at her feet. Anything less than that, she moans about.

How irritating - I’d either have to be very blunt here - or just ghost and save myself the grief.

You've asked her to stop. She hasn't. Time for consequences for overstepping that boundary.

Distance yourself. She's using you for what she thinks is access. Stop answering her calls or texts, don't meet up. If she asks why, tell her honestly that her refusal to heed your no and pester you for a job has damaged the friendship and you need space.

I’d just stop seeing or communicating with her. Couldn’t be arsed with all that.

My understanding is AI helps job applications these days.

I’d probably be blunt and say that after 3 applications it’s not likely to happen and that you can’t sway the process in her favour.

You've told her multiple times and she's still asks? Then yes, your only option is to distance yourself really or just keep saying no.

I would have said long ago so.ething like ' how the hell am I supposed to get you a job? Do I look like recruitment or something!, honestly you sound like a toddler who pesters but the answer is still the same!!'

It doesn't always, we can spot AI , we'd rather people not use it.

She’s being lazy! Who on earth thinks anyone these days can sway the HR process, I interview regularly and while I’d look out for someone who had worked with people I trust at work, it’s not a shoe-in, we have tests, presentations, and there’s usually at least 3 on a panel, sometimes more. In fact, often, if we feel there’s a friend being interviewed, the friend often steps back from the process
tell her to get her ass down the job centre, get on job seekers allowance, get training if she needs it, and start opening her own opportunities!
I would say one way to get a bit of a shoe in is to temp at places, so if that would work in her role maybe she could join the temp agency/ies your firm uses?

You don’t seem to like her very much. Perhaps the solution is to stop being her “friend”

You’ll just have to be blunt. If you’ve already explained that you have no power to do what she wants, you’ll just have to step back from the friendship.

You've told her to stop, that's it's making you uncomfortable, and damaging the friendship. She refused, and upped the ante.
This woman is not your friend.

Tell her she’s giving you power you don’t have.

Yes, that's annoying. I think some people do think it's a "not what you know, it's who you know" world. Which it is in some industries tbf, but not yours.

Anyway, she isn't listening to your perfectly reasonable request, so I would definitely be less inclined to hang out with her

ask her why she thinks you have any hiring power at your company.
Tell her you are not a high level employee and you have no sway.
Tell her your company doesn't care what you think about prospective employees.

If you meet up with her again maybe send her a message beforehand along the lines of "I'm really looking forward to seeing you later for a good catch up but please don't ask me again about getting you a job. I've already explained many times that while I wish I had the power to help, I really and would hate it to ruin our evening again" .

Get her to go to an employment agency or recruiter - they'll magic up her a job in no time.

As an aside, why was she let go from the other job??

Or it could be that her friend doesn’t like OP
very much as she is only using her to try and get a job.

Absolutely distance yourself.

She sounds insufferable

Well the op is being used

You could argue the overbearing person isn’t being much of a friend either.

Tell her that big companies have a process that cannot be circumvented. A friend asked me if I (Director Big 4) could get her son work experience. I said that give our anti nepotism rules my friendship would be no help at all. He applied on line and (bright lad that he is) got an internship.

If they were, they certainly won’t be for much longer if one friend insists on something the other friend can’t possibly deliver.