Anger at museum for tiktok of staff member

[DeepLemonBeaker]

DS turned 13 in January and wanted to have a phone with tiktok for Roblox videos with his friends. I'm an ex social worker who was completely reluctant to do this at first but agreed on the promise I get to see his account when asked. The other promise was he never took his phone to bed and it was left downstairs as not to impair his sleep. He agreed, and I've used this time to double check the phone.

In my view he is a child and completely vunerable, I am a bit of an outcast in conversations in work and among some friends for this view, some parents are more casual with a lot more trust but I think I have seen too much to take the chance.

We visited a museum in early Feburary, we only conducted a two hour visit before heading for a meal as the weather was bad (Typical Welsh weather) My DD has taken some interest in some of the stuff there and would like to return and I did enjoy myself although DH & DS were bored s*less.

However one week after this visit my sons account was "following" a man in his 50s who had mulitple videos of himself in a gallery attendants uniform. Some had him dressed with women's hairstyles and talking in a childs voice. No gallery attendant that looked like this on the day of the visit and I am unaware how my DS has stumbled upon this mans page but it has raised questions in my head

I want to send the details on to the Museum and express concern but DH thinks this is a massive overreaction that could harm this mans job. He is correct that there has been no "interaction" between the two and my son blocked the account when asked but I cannot get this out of my head and have questions.

Did your son post TikTok videos of the museum? The man likely found him like that?

How does your son say he found the man? He needs to be honest or lose TikTok.

Do a crimestoppers log with the mans details from TikTok and your concerns so it’s logged.

I doubt the gallery would care even thought they should but you could report it to them.

this Is one of those ChatGPT ones, isn’t it

Your son followed this account? The guy didn’t reach out or interact with or message your son in any way?

What is it you want to report the guy to his employer for then? It sounds more like you need to speak to your son if you have rules about accounts he is allowed to follow.

Just by googling @DeepLemonBeaker and for your peace of mind

This is a suggested scenario;

Based on the context of viral content and social media algorithms, there are several ways someone in their 50s with distinct content (like a gallery attendant uniform) could have their account found or go viral, often without intentionally trying to.
Here is how they likely found your account:

• TikTok "For You" Page (FYP) Algorithm: TikTok’s algorithm pushes niche content to specific audiences. If they were viewing similar content (e.g., #art, #museum, #uniform), the app likely suggested your account.
• Viral Niche Appeal: Content featuring unique, aesthetic, or comforting roles (like a quiet gallery attendant) often gains traction, even if not meant to go viral.
• Hashtag and Search Discovery: Using specific tags related to the location, job, or clothing in your videos makes you searchable.

Tiktok knew you went to the museum, so suggested the page.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20260210-tiktok-is-tracking-you-even-if-you-dont-use-the-app-heres-how-to-stop-it

The man had his own personal account and the son found it (probably because TikTok knew he went to the museum and so suggested it to him) and followed it himself - the man hasn't had any personal interaction with the son, afaict.

Your child's phone will be tracking a lot of data about him - what he's searching for, what he's watching, probably where he is, who he's near, and if microphone permissions are enabled, things he and you are saying. You have allowed him to set up an account that takes this information and uses it however they want, largely to encourage more usage of the app.

Obviously you knew this before giving him a phone, so what are the questions being raised for you?

It’s nothing to do with the museum. Block the Tiktok account and move on.

TikTok will push content to your account based on what you have watched and interacted with. This man’s videos will have appeared on your son’s For You Page (FYP), and he has followed his account. TikTok will not automatically follow accounts, although it is easy to accidentally click on something. I don’t think the man has done anything wrong and contacting his workplace seems wild.

If your son sees content on TikTok that he doesn’t want to, he can hold down the video and tell the platform he’s not interested. (Eg I follow a cat rescue account, so TikTok was like, great, she likes sad animals and started serving me lots of neglected pets which I had to “train it out of”.)

I’m a lecturer in digital marketing so teach a lot of modules around social media. The platforms are designed to keep you scrolling, and are very intuitive about how to do that. I think my most used phrase to students is that they need to “curate their feeds” by actively telling the platforms what they do not want to see!

What has this go to do with museum?

You let your child have tiktok and now you're somehow angry with a museum that he's watching tiktok videos?

No it’s weirder than that. They went to a museum and now she’s pissed off that her son is following someone who posted in his museum work uniform and clearly thinks the man is going to sully her perfect 13 year old boy perhaps by grooming him through TikTok but she wants to report the man to his bosses for posting on his personal TikTok account and get him sacked.

maybe you need to lay off the social media op ..

Yeah, this makes no sense

@DeepLemonBeaker I don't think you understand how TikTok works. Possibly you don't understand how any social media works. In which case, you can't really supervise your son using it. Maybe best to get rid of it.

it could be suggesting all sorts of accounts to your son. And it's nothing to do with the museum.

You let your 13yo have TikTok; I’m not sure why you keep making out you’re stricter than most parents?

It’s nothing to do with the museum.

You can't call crimestoppers on a completely non offensive Tik Tok account. Dear Lord.

Is your concern the content of the videos ? The women’s hairstyle and baby voice?

Are they official museum videos, or ones made by the attendant while happening to wear the uniform?

If the content is inappropriate, harmful or offensive then yes, give that feedback to the museum.

If it’s just daft / fun and your concern is that your Ds has had it come up, then it isn’t the museum’s fault that your Ds has followed the account..

More detail about why you are alarmed and less about the Welsh weather , your DD’s interest etc etc and what it is that is the problem is needed!

If you consider your DS as vulnera'ble then do not allow him ANY access to Tik Tok.
This is on you and your decision to allow 'limited' access.
Dont make it about a random museum.

What has the man got to do with you or your son? I don’t get it? He’s allowed to dress in women’s hairstyles if he so wishes, I doubt the museum can or want to stop him. Your son doesn’t have to follow him. There’s all sorts of weird stuff out there, some innocent, some not. Does your son even want to engage with this account or did he just happen to come across it? You could ask your son to only follow accounts you’ve approved of.

On Instagram, you can set up a request to follow so random people have to ask to follow you, is this the case in tik tok?

You think she should make a report to crime stoppers? On what basis, what crime is it suggested he has committed? You’re bonkers.

You went to a museum, TikTok consequently started throwing up videos about museums including the one you went to and then your son followed the account. It's not rocket science. You need to work on your anxiety and/or stick with your idea of no phone/tiktok for your son.

Crime stoppers 😂😂😂

You lost the moral high ground when you gave into pressure from your son and allowed him access to arguably one of the most addictive and damaging social media platforms.

Now you’re realising the issues and rather than delete his account and risk his teenage wrath you’re blaming some random account he follows.

You reap what you sow, there is no way on TikTok that you’ve been able to monitor what his FYP has been showing him. And if he has Roblox with the chat facility he is also at massive risk of being groomed.

Thanks for that. And there was I thinking how clever I was refusing cookies religiously. They completely side step gdpr, making us think we're protecting our data but obviously not.

So the museum worker didn’t follow your son? Your son followed the museum worker? You need to talk to your son about not following stranger adults on tiktok. Or don’t let him have tiktok. He’s demonstrated that he’s using it for more than roblox videos with his mates. 🤷‍♀️

So you let your son has TikTok. He chose to follow a stranger but you’re blaming the stranger?

The fact he is following strangers surely shows he isn’t mature enough for social media yet?