Anger at museum for tiktok of staff member

[DeepLemonBeaker]

DS turned 13 in January and wanted to have a phone with tiktok for Roblox videos with his friends. I'm an ex social worker who was completely reluctant to do this at first but agreed on the promise I get to see his account when asked. The other promise was he never took his phone to bed and it was left downstairs as not to impair his sleep. He agreed, and I've used this time to double check the phone.

In my view he is a child and completely vunerable, I am a bit of an outcast in conversations in work and among some friends for this view, some parents are more casual with a lot more trust but I think I have seen too much to take the chance.

We visited a museum in early Feburary, we only conducted a two hour visit before heading for a meal as the weather was bad (Typical Welsh weather) My DD has taken some interest in some of the stuff there and would like to return and I did enjoy myself although DH & DS were bored s*less.

However one week after this visit my sons account was "following" a man in his 50s who had mulitple videos of himself in a gallery attendants uniform. Some had him dressed with women's hairstyles and talking in a childs voice. No gallery attendant that looked like this on the day of the visit and I am unaware how my DS has stumbled upon this mans page but it has raised questions in my head

I want to send the details on to the Museum and express concern but DH thinks this is a massive overreaction that could harm this mans job. He is correct that there has been no "interaction" between the two and my son blocked the account when asked but I cannot get this out of my head and have questions.

They're not "in contact" with children, have you read the posts explaining how TikTok works?
You get videos on your "for you" page depending on what content you've interacted with in the past.
In this case, museum stuff.
Or just keep your kids off social media in case they see someone who's trans!
< faints>
🙄
(Also nowhere has it said that they are lol)

Focus on things that are in your control, ds is following randoms and has access to all sorts of stuff on tiktok. Approaching the museum doesnt actually solve anything, as the next swipe could have an different weird video or someone messaging your ds. What solves it, is getting rid of tiktok or massively restricting its use.

its a bit like saying i'm in contact with David Beckham because i follow him on instagram.

Hope Posh does report me to my work.

😂

You are totally naive, and you sound quite sheltered.

TikTok is not a kids app. It has never been a kids app. As kids (under 13s) aren’t allowed an account. Obviously most under 13’s get away with it by lying about their DOB when signing up for an account.

Do more research before you let your children have internet and app access. You are the adult here.

But why did you decide not to look into this before you let him have the account?
That was a decision on your part, to remain uneducated about it - were you just hoping for the best?

I know I am sounding like I'm telling you off, but I'm genuinely frustrated with this attitude in general and where it's getting us.
If you don't know what a technology does then don't give it to your child.

Tech companies tell us it's all fiiiiine and we just lap it up.

don't know if a transexual but many videos featured him in pigtails

I've just realised!
Oh well.
Gratuitous pictures of cats are generally welcomed.

She's come to MN wanting to know more though - it's not ideal letting your kids on there in the first place, but that can't be changed now. Least OP wants to know more, and isn't just "remaining uneducated.'

i think you need you need to get more clued up on how sm works. you could have risked someones job for your mistake, thought thankfully you asked here first.
you have to be over 13 for TikTok. I don’t think it’s ( or any sm really is for kids).
if he has made the account himself then as it’s a minor acc then messaging should not be allowed.
are you aware of all the stuff surrounding Roblox at present? Please look it up
do you know the aps he has?

Yes but surely you do this as part of deciding whether to allow access, not 'I'll see if it's harmful if anything I don't like happens'!

But yes, good that she's at least prompted to look into it now.

I would contact the Museum if the person os using his work uniform to make Tik toks like this.

I'm confused if this is someone who says they work for this particular museum or if they are just a person dressing up in a generic museum costume. If they are claiming to work for this particular museum then I would contact the museum to share the video with them and say you found it inappropriate. It's then up to them what they do about it. I'd delete tik tok from your son's phone tbh.

He isn't, that isn't how it works. Dear lord. Being trans isn't cross dressing.

The uniform was quite formal with the logo which I found very old fashioned whilst there and that's why it was easy to spot him wearing it, and the logo is visible

Excessively so. Regressively so. With an undertone of bigotry.

Helpful to know all of this!

Maybe "kids" was the wrong term. I thought it was something for teens. By looking into it more it looks completely open and random. Time to get DH on my side with this one!

Why can’t you ask your son???

what are you going to report - wearing a wig ?

Also trans doesn’t make him a pedo

Did the content of the video make you feel uncomfortable op? Women are being told to override their feelings of distress at online content because they're 'bigoted' while cross dressing is a well known paraphilia in which men get sexually excited when wearing women's clothes. I don't know of this video was like this it might just have been a man in uniform with an unusual hairstyle talking about history. However, do not dismiss your feelings because you might be 'old fashioned'. If you are upset and concerned then report it to the museum in question.

Not what cross dressing is at all. Congrats on your ignorance, and blatant bigotry.

That's literally exactly what it is

I would be uncomfortable if I employed someone to work with a uniform and they were making videos like this - that may be a very old-fashioned view I have

Not in the least.
You're uncomfortable because what he's doing is deliberately pushing your boundaries and he knows that he's making your squirm.

That is abusive and he no doubt gets off on it.

Bigotry? Where? It's not unheard of to have rules regarding uniforms, maybe things have changed since I had to wear one but back in my time managers would ask you not to wear it outside work, especially going to the pub and the likes. Not sure about social media rules.