Anger at museum for tiktok of staff member

[DeepLemonBeaker]

DS turned 13 in January and wanted to have a phone with tiktok for Roblox videos with his friends. I'm an ex social worker who was completely reluctant to do this at first but agreed on the promise I get to see his account when asked. The other promise was he never took his phone to bed and it was left downstairs as not to impair his sleep. He agreed, and I've used this time to double check the phone.

In my view he is a child and completely vunerable, I am a bit of an outcast in conversations in work and among some friends for this view, some parents are more casual with a lot more trust but I think I have seen too much to take the chance.

We visited a museum in early Feburary, we only conducted a two hour visit before heading for a meal as the weather was bad (Typical Welsh weather) My DD has taken some interest in some of the stuff there and would like to return and I did enjoy myself although DH & DS were bored s*less.

However one week after this visit my sons account was "following" a man in his 50s who had mulitple videos of himself in a gallery attendants uniform. Some had him dressed with women's hairstyles and talking in a childs voice. No gallery attendant that looked like this on the day of the visit and I am unaware how my DS has stumbled upon this mans page but it has raised questions in my head

I want to send the details on to the Museum and express concern but DH thinks this is a massive overreaction that could harm this mans job. He is correct that there has been no "interaction" between the two and my son blocked the account when asked but I cannot get this out of my head and have questions.

This. You have to take responsibility if you let your kid have TikTok. This is by far one of the milder things he could have found.

Where’s the laughing reaction button when you need it?
😂

Maybe it was an open air museum? I wondered the same!

Is this a joke? So you didnt properly supervise your son, he followed a man's account, and you're blaming the man?

It is almost as if the op doesn't know what tik tok is.

In short you think you're better than other parents because you didn't allow tiktok, then you allowed tiktok at the minimum age requirement, now want to report a guy for having an account that your son followed because you weren't keeping an eye on his account, despite him being vulnerable?

This is entirely on you. Nothing to do with this guy at all.

youre going to complain to the museum that your son followed one of their employees who also has a TikTok account?
good luck with that.

this is a parenting issue, not the random man issue, you gave your 13 year old TikTok, where he can stumble across videos like this, and he’s the one that followed him, what do you want the museum to do about this?

You want to complain to the museum because you let your 13yo son have a tiktok account and didn’t supervise him properly?

As far as I can see this man has done nothing wrong and it’s entirely possible your son followed him or even that he unintentionally followed your son - it’s very easy to hit follow instead of like if you’re not paying attention.

The bottom line is that if you let your child go on an adult social media platform then there is a risk of him interacting with adults. You can’t police how other adults use tiktok because it doesn’t fit with your parenting choices.

What on earth are you talking about OP?

It's everything to do with the museum if he's wearing their uniform in his videos.

You've let your 13-year-old son have TikTok, and he's chosen to follow a stranger.

Delete TikTok. There's nothing at all to report the man for here.

@DeepLemonBeaker please can you clarify exactly what the problem with the video is.

Is it that
The Museum allowed your child to follow the account
That it is an official Museum video and not appropriate in some way
That the man is independently making inappropriate / offensive / harmful videos while wearing a museum uniform

No responsible parent allows their child access to Twat Tok, for that alone OP YABU.

If he is in a museum uniform doing odd things, then contact the museum as it does affect them. Just get your DS off Tik Tok. My DD never had it and still doesn't , by choice, aged 17.

Thirteen year old children do not need access to tiktok.

However one week after this visit my sons account was "following" a man in his 50s

Your son followed this guy. This guy didn't follow your son. You're being ridiculous. Parent your child and leave the museum and this guy out of it.

My 13 year old is not allowed to use Tiktoc or any other social media account. My friends with 13/14 year olds also have the same view point.

You say that your son is childlike and vulnerable, so I would suggest you also don’t allow him to use social media or interact with strangers online.

I don't think this account could be linked to the museum itself somehow, actual official sm accounts are usually marked as such or you can guess from the content they put out that this is one of the official pages.
Block the man and move on, I think he was just farming followers using hastags and geotags and that's how his page got recommended to your son.

Okay so I am a social worker and I know, like most people that Roblox is a nonce’s playground.
Forget the TikTok (though he shouldn’t have that either) Roblox is far more dangerous.

Also, is the museum officer AI? There are a hell of a lot of AI videos out there and some are very convincing

I don't get the impression that the OP would have a clue if this was official or not, or would even know how to delve further. She's just seen a middle aged man and her mind has gone straight to grooming...

if you had the location active on your phone and then used eg that can put the 2 together

OP either your son is “a child and completely vulnerable” and he is not allowed TikTok or he isn’t. Because why would you allow him access to a platform like TikTok when he is a child and completely vulnerable? Why do you want to have it both ways? The reality is you can’t clean up TikTok from all the creeps and the dangerous people praying on young people so I would instead focus on controlling things a bit closer to home.

This seems to be what has happened. We had a deeper talk about it and he just told me it went on his "For you" page after the day out, when pushed why he was following it. He said it must have been a mistake as he found the video he saw "cringey".

It has opened my eyes though and I approached the topic of deleting Tiktok but DH seems to think this is an overreaction.

I agree with this but pressure is on all angles as all his friends have it and other parents I speak with in person are more trusting because they have their own rules about screen time. Some monitor and some don't.

DH seems to think it is better we agree and have one we can keep an eye on than him finding a way to have a secret one, kids are sneaky!!

Can you not do what pp suggested and link accounts and I am not being snarky but learn how the internet and algorythims work, do you not have social media ?