Anger at museum for tiktok of staff member

[DeepLemonBeaker]

DS turned 13 in January and wanted to have a phone with tiktok for Roblox videos with his friends. I'm an ex social worker who was completely reluctant to do this at first but agreed on the promise I get to see his account when asked. The other promise was he never took his phone to bed and it was left downstairs as not to impair his sleep. He agreed, and I've used this time to double check the phone.

In my view he is a child and completely vunerable, I am a bit of an outcast in conversations in work and among some friends for this view, some parents are more casual with a lot more trust but I think I have seen too much to take the chance.

We visited a museum in early Feburary, we only conducted a two hour visit before heading for a meal as the weather was bad (Typical Welsh weather) My DD has taken some interest in some of the stuff there and would like to return and I did enjoy myself although DH & DS were bored s*less.

However one week after this visit my sons account was "following" a man in his 50s who had mulitple videos of himself in a gallery attendants uniform. Some had him dressed with women's hairstyles and talking in a childs voice. No gallery attendant that looked like this on the day of the visit and I am unaware how my DS has stumbled upon this mans page but it has raised questions in my head

I want to send the details on to the Museum and express concern but DH thinks this is a massive overreaction that could harm this mans job. He is correct that there has been no "interaction" between the two and my son blocked the account when asked but I cannot get this out of my head and have questions.

Had a Facebook account many moons ago but only Pinterest and here nowadays.

What has the man himself done wrong in the scenario you've described? Your son is following this man's account, but it doesn't sound like the man is following your son's account or has interacted with him in any way, is that right?

The man being cringy online isn't illegal or something he deserves to be reported for. Your son can choose to unfollow and block the account, as it appears he has now done.

It would be different if the man was following your son's account or trying to talk to him online. That would be inappropriate. Does your son post any of his own videos or have any chats online via Tiktok?

There are so many ways in which Tiktok is harmful to kids and I won't let mine have it. You're right to monitor closely and supervise carefully, but in this case I don't think there is any basis for contacting the museum.

It has opened my eyes though and I approached the topic of deleting TikTok but DH seems to think this is an overreaction

I agree with you and I think your husband is being naive.

Delete TikTok ASAP.

Crimestoppers? Wtf! No crime has been committed!

Utterly bonkers

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I think I was niave about Tik Tok and did not realise it was built this way. I thought because of the low account age it may have been tailored a bit better. it is always in my mind as a "kids" app as I only heard about it from DS and his friends.

For whatever reason your son chose to follow this man’s account so unless the man made contact with your son the man has done nothing wrong.

I can’t believe you were even considering contacting the man’s place of work about this. If you haven’t already then you need to have a chat with your son as to why he chose to follow this man’s account. Maybe it is a case that he is still too young to understand the dangers of social media yet.

I don't think this is an issue for crimestoppers. From other replies I am getting it appears that this account was reccomended by being in the same location!!

All of life is on TikTok - whether you want to learn to crochet, to style baggy jeans, to keep fish, to do a dance, to make a matcha, or to find the best places to eat in Glasgow, ad infinitum. The algorithm intuitively pushes content based on what you have engaged with, so if you watch a video about trains, it will automatically send you more videos about trains.

By your logic if a 13-year-old boy watches content aimed/tailored to 13-year-old boys, that's exactly what the algorithm will send him. Job done and all very PG. The problem arises because most 13-year-old boys are not watching content specifically designed to be age appropriate.

Please will you quote people when you post.
There's a Quote button under every post, on the left.

What did you actually think had happened? You seem intent that this man has done something wrong and wanted to even go to his employer. What for?

It’s a social media platform. It suggests pages you might want to follow, like all other social media platforms. It does this by using your location to see where you’ve been and by monitoring what other things you watch to suggest similar. This guy has done nothing wrong. Your son was recommended an account and followed it.

And you think TikTok is for kids? You’re not a social worker. No social worker would think TikTok was for kids.

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne

You’ve posted a photo of a cat.

Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth

As someone who works in museums and also posts on social media, the thought of you endangering this person’s employment because you were too negligent to actually check out the app you allowed you child to use is utterly infuriating. You sent your child to a virtual town square for the entire world having failed to do any due diligence on how it worked.

Kids are only sneaky if they can be, you are the adult. You lock their phone down so they can only have apps you approve, it's not hard. My 13 year old can't download anything to his phone without either myself or my husband approving it.
TikTok as well as been full of shit is Chinese and is known for extensive data collection, it may even be collecting data when not in use. There are national security concerns around it as it's Chinese.
It's known for bullying, paedophiles, questionable and dangerous trends etc.
Also you seem to have ignored the advice around Roblox, this is known for paedophiles I would be deleting that straight off.
My son was never allowed Roblox, and was one of the only ones out of his friends but he survived. We sat him down and explained why he couldn't have it.
It drives me mad that parents allow their children access to these apps with no research whatsoever because their friends are allowed it. It doesn't mean it's right.
You and your husband need to be better. Read some info and get knowledge on these platforms and the risks before allowing them access.

I assumed it was St Fagans because that's open air: https://museum.wales/stfagans/

But I haven't been recently enough to recall if staff have uniforms there or not.

Do not risk this man losing his job!

You’re being hysterical.

@DeepLemonBeaker I'm genuinely confused at what the man had done wrong? I have RTFT but still can't grasp it - sorry if that's my ignorance.

Is it that you don't want your son to see adults creating content on the app? If so, I think you'll find that super hard to regulate and would probably better off not letting him use it at all.

Or is it that he had done/posted something inappropriate?

I use tiktok, Youtube etc. and I follow strangers, but I'm following them based on what they're doing and what I'm interested in.

But you’re an adult. The boy is not and was given rules on using social media, which he has broken. Because he has followed an account of, what sounds like, a bit of a weirdo.

Remember the '6 degrees of separation' theories? I would think that when you combine that with the ability to pinpoint a location, of a phone/ app on the phone, it probably reduces the number of interconnections you need now.

The majority of platforms similar to Tik Tok make it necessary to refuse, not opt into on creating an account, permissions for all kinds of data information (such as location) to rein back what they are putting in front of your eyes. There are reams of things that would be good to lock down for your DS's age. To market certain (legitimate and safeguarded) courses to people under 18, there are platforms you shouldn't touch with a bargepole it's very unwise to use if you want to make efforts to be trustworthy. If signing up to something, check and deal with all the 'open' settings the minute that you have added any personal details. Whenever an update or new version is pushed, check them again.

Please do some parenting rather than harrassing strangers

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Crime stoppers mentions and the cat pic have finished me off