To be puzzled by workplace affairs/relationships?

[Linlin24]

It seems so common these days (both from on here and elsewhere) that colleagues become romantically involved.

Is it just me, or I struggle to see how this happens? Everywhere I’ve worked has been professional and barely any time to discuss non work matters!!

You must be the life and soul of the office

Is it 20% of people who meet at work, something like that. Maybe you've led a sheltered life. (Nothing wrong with that)

I think that either an affair or the start of a relationship or both has happened everywhere I've worked across 30 years of workplaces in a few different countries. I don't think it's that mysterious -- it's a place where you're brought into contact with people, often with similar passions and preoccupations, sometimes in a highly pressured environment which leads to bonding (or enmity). You spend an awful lot of time at work, more than at home. It's an pbvious places for friendships or sexual attractions to spring up.

What on earth is that supposed to mean?

It's actually always good to hear from someone who actually approaches their job professionally.

No chit chat in the office, no jokes, no banter, always professional.

The op says she struggles to see how it happens, I fail to understand how she can't see it happening.

So you never sit and chat shit at work?

Never talk about anything other than work?

No one has never walked past you, in work who you've thought, I could take you home!

My husband and I got engaged just after he left to work at a different branch. When I went to work waggling my third finger left hand 💍 everyone asked if they knew who 'he' was and were gobsmacked we'd been dating for three years.

I met my partner of 25 years at work but we didn’t start dating until I changed jobs. I think it’s a great advantage to see how someone behaves in a work environment and how they interact with others. Also, because we have the same profession, we have similar incomes which works well as we can contribute equally to our joint expenses. I’m really glad that I have avoided internet dating where you have no idea whether someone is who they say they are.
I wouldn’t have dated him when we worked together though as I wouldn’t want it to interfere with my professional reputation.

I met DH at work. We were both instantly attracted to each other but and got to know each other slowly over about a year. Then there was a work Christmas party and the rest is history.
There are several couples in my workplace who met there.

Met a long term boyfriend and my current husband through work!

Because she doesn't want to fuck Nigel from accounts?

It’s always been the way! Loads of people meet at work, I had a few work relationships when I was younger.

It’s probably just proximity and familiarity.

Most people spend a huge chunk of their lives at work. When you collaborate closely, solve problems together, and see how someone behaves under pressure, you get to know their character in a very real way. That repeated exposure can naturally turn into attraction.

In very task-focused, strictly professional environments, there’s little space for that — so your experience makes sense too. It often depends less on “office romance culture” and more on how much room the workplace gives for genuine human connection alongside the work.

You spend most of your waking hours at work with your colleagues so it is natural place to meet someone. Obviosuly depends on your job. But I imagine on average people have lunch and coffee breaks talking to colleagues. Chatting to the person on the next desk, collaborating ona project, mentoring someone on a task etc.

Obviously aome people don't have colleagues or they don't leave their desk or they're working on the field independently. But it shouldn't be too puzzling.

How about the IT man?

You can still have fun at work at not get your knickers off!

All the op said was she has barely any time to discuss non work matters.

She didn't say she never discusses them or has a laugh.

I met my DH at work. Both young, free and single at the time. A number of my friends are similar.
No online dating in my day - it was work, hobbies, or nightclubs. Or personal ads .

That's quite an odd thing to be puzzled by.

Working age people spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else - it is quite a normal place to get to know people, and, from that 'getting to know' relationships develop.

Lots of people meet through work.

In the directorate im.in, which is about 40 people, there are/were two couples who had affairs with each other (and ended up together) during Covid. When we were all working from home. I still can't work out how that happened!

Work is one of the few real life ways people can meet each other. I wouldn't do it, I think it can get too complicated if it goes wrong, but plenty do. Better than meeting 100 duds on an app as at least you know each other!

I would've thought it was less common now with people WFH, but having worked in offices most of my life it was the main place where people met their partners. You spend more time at the office than at home and often socialise with colleagues too. Being in the same industry also gives you a common link and all the "in house" jokes and experiences offer a mutual bond. It's a bit of a no brainer really. Even if you do work in an environment when there's no chit chat, it doesn't stop you fancying someone and getting their number. I mean, even in the strictest of offices there's bound to be coffee breaks or something surely?

You struggle to see how anyone could fall for someone they spend more time with than their partner/friends or family? You don’t have to be unprofessional or snogging in the broom cupboard! An attraction that sparks and then moves to messaging outside of hours, lunch or coffee. That’s how one of my relationships started and I know of at least two relationships at my current workplace. Thankfully all single and no affairs. Although, I probably haven’t noticed the affairs…

My work was really friendly. We chatted in the canteen and socialised out of work etc. It was an tech kind of environment where tech women were vastly outnumbered by tech men. A high percentage of the women ended up marrying someone from work, me included.

They’re rife at my work, it’s there if you want it

What’s wrong with Nigel from accounts ????