To be puzzled by workplace affairs/relationships?

[Linlin24]

It seems so common these days (both from on here and elsewhere) that colleagues become romantically involved.

Is it just me, or I struggle to see how this happens? Everywhere I’ve worked has been professional and barely any time to discuss non work matters!!

Bloody hell OP - places I’ve worked, people have been shagging on desks, boardroom tables, in stationery cupboards, in pub toilets after work….many of these people had partners/spouses as well, unfortunately. Some liaisons have resulted in divorces and new marriages.

What a thing to be puzzled by: work takes up so much of people’s lives its hardly surprising that it happens.

I have had two workplace relationships: one lasted for two years, the other was strictly under wraps (I had just left my marriage and it was basically an exit fling).

They are risky: they either work brilliantly or (more often) they turn into an awkward or painful purgatory as you have to see the person on a daily basis. I wouldn’t do it again: its a huge distraction and a big risk.

But its bizarre that you should be shocked or surprised that it happened.

One place I worked, new employees were taken round the offices being introduced to everyone and the men used to hold up scores out of ten behind them. That’s pretty misogynistic but hey-ho

I met both my serious boyfriends via workplaces. There's "LOTS" of opportunities, i.e. breaks, lunchtime, works car park, bus stop outside waiting to go home, etc. There's also usually lots of "chat" time whilst you're working during the working day, i.e. chatting whilst you're doing something else such as paperwork or "making" something, etc that doesn't detract from the actual job in hand.

These days, when it seems few people go to pubs/clubs to socialise and meet people, the workplace is one of the only places you get to meet people in real life, so it's no surprise that it's one of the main places where people meet. To a large extent, it also gives you sight & experience of the "real" person, i.e. when you spend hours with them, see them at their best/worst, rather than just seeing a "snapshot" of them on a date etc.

I don't see where else you'd be likely to meet someone? Now there's OLD but I think that's a minefield.

Other than through friends hopefully having a single mate, or going out 'on the pull' but that's not even really a thing now. Or meeting and locking a romantic gaze across a crowded branch of Costa on your lunch break?

Especially If you're over 40, surely it has always been very very common for people to meet their partners through work?

in my view it starts small, the daily how are you, then the how was your weekend, then sharing different conversations where possible, then helping out with whatever project if possible, then maybe drinks or meal after work or during dinner, then the complement's then the spark and attraction and then thinking of them when your driving home etc its nibble by nibble

I met my DH at work, 35 years ago. Its definitely not a new phenomenon.

plus with online dating people have mixed personalities and some wear masks so to speak so getting to know a person in person is much better option

Nobody wants to fuck Nigel.

That was the seventies though. I hope.

What is this supposed to mean! I met my husband at work. Doesn’t mean we behaved unprofessionally.

I met my DH at work in 1988. Complete fluke. I was nursing since the 1970s, dm was dieing in my hospital because of her GP doing nothing. He worked there, I told them where to stick their job. Was going for an interview, receptionist, which I did before nursing. Got lost went into a garage to ask directions. Boss offered me a reception job,DH f had just died,my mum was dieing,he offered me a shoulder, and then the rest. Lots of the nurses married doctors and other nurses.

No, it was the noughties

similar behaviour still exists but some women join in too

He's accrual man.

I’ve heard he’s very good with his digits

Out of my six best friends, four met their partners at work. As did I.

I’ve been with mine for 23 years now.

It doesn’t seem in the slightest bit strange to me. I met my DP when I started a new job, we hit it off immediately, same sense of humour and interests etc so we got on really well, same job so we had lots in common; we went on a work night out, everyone got very drunk, we were effectively the last ones standing and we ended up in bed. Best drunk decision I ever made. If it had stayed a one night stand, it wouldn’t have been awkward as we’re not intense, drama queeny people.

I find it hard to believe that the concept of forming a relationship with someone you spend 40 hours a week with is ‘baffling’. I also find it hard to believe that people are unfamiliar with the concept of a job in which colleagues chat about non-work things sometimes. I’m sure some people would love to imagine they’re too busy and important to, eg, team drinks occasionally, or go to a leaving do, or travel together for events, or have a chat over your Pret sandwich at lunchtime, but in reality these things happen in most normal workplaces.

I just find it really overstepping the professionalism line.

I work with so many good looking men who all seem nice (aren’t they all at first) but I’d feel so unprofessional stepping over that line.

And that’s if things go well, if there is a messy breakup then it could easily cause drama.

Perhaps I’ve just seen more work flings go wrong than right so I’m skeptical.

I also love my job and wouldn’t want anything to jeopardise it and I’m a single parent so I’d never put a man over paying my bills.

I’d also have no idea which man to choose because there are loads of good looking and nice ones but if you choose one and it doesn’t work out then you can’t exactly go to another one like you would outside of work.

Bit bleak, though, the thought of being ‘professional‘ all the time, if it means passing up an opportunity to end up with the man or woman of your dreams.

Bit bleak, though, the thought of being ‘professional‘ all the time, if it means passing up an opportunity to end up with the man or woman of your dreams.

Bit bleak, though, the thought of being ‘professional‘ all the time, if it means passing up an opportunity to end up with the man or woman of your dreams.

I’ve known 2 couples who met at work and 1 woman who had an affair with a man at work.

Can't count up to 16, when it really needs to count though...

I don’t get it?

I love how you say 'these days' op as if it isn't a tale as old as time! Was definitely happening in my first workplace over 30 years ago.