To be puzzled by workplace affairs/relationships?

[Linlin24]

It seems so common these days (both from on here and elsewhere) that colleagues become romantically involved.

Is it just me, or I struggle to see how this happens? Everywhere I’ve worked has been professional and barely any time to discuss non work matters!!

You can, but with a hot young IT guy knickers just seem to dissolve 😉

Met the last guy I was dating through work, although we didn’t start dating until he had moved onto different area/project .

For many people, apart from sleeping, half or more of their time is at work. And that may be the main place they regularly meet new people.

Plus you often have some interests in common with people in the same line of work.

Yes I understand that but I just find it odd that someone would choose to go for someone they work with over the thousands of single men who aren’t connected to their work

But I wasn’t interested in just finding any single man. I wasn’t looking for a man at all, actually. I just happened to find one, at work, by chance, who I clicked with. He was (still is!) my dream man. I chose him over the thousands of other single men out there because I didn’t want any other single man. I wanted him.

Personally, I’d always find it a lot easier to determine whether I had a connection with someone by spending 40 hours sitting opposite him week in and week out, working and chatting with him every day, than by exchanging messages on an app and then meeting him for small-talk date in a coffee shop or a town centre pub.

But like I said, we’re all different. Do whatever works for you.

But I am someone who also wouldn’t date a friends ex or family member as I think that can cause issues but I know many people who do

LOL. What’s that got to do with anything? It isn’t remotely comparable to going out with someone from work 🤣 What an odd comparison to make.

I’ve had a fun career but I’ve never had an affair. What kind of stupid idiot snipes that someone isn’t fun at work if they’re not in a workplace relationship?

Nobody has said anyone is not fun if they don’t date colleagues.

What makes them ‘not fun’ is being uptight and disapproving of other people dating colleagues.

the intriguing part is figuring out who is with who etc

I met my dh at work. Spending 12hrs a night together plus breakfast/dinner etc meant we became close. Together 12 years now and 2 kids.

My parents met at work almost 60 years ago. This is really not a new thing.

But that doesn't mean she's a crashing bore which is what you seem to be implying.

I'm happy to be uptight and disapproving of shagging a colleague if at least one of you is married or in a relationship, ta very much.

This is why we need the laughter emoji! 😆

90% of my relationships started in the workplace 😳 I think the remainder was at school or in pubs/clubs .

I haven't tried online dating and I was rarely single when I was in the game.

OP you said nowadays and I thought this was a thing of the past 🤔.

I think, from the OP response which was deleted, not only is she boring, she's very uptight.

But I am someone who also wouldn’t date a friends ex or family member

Well yes, even as an unprofessional morally bankrupt filthbag who has had relationships with people from work I would still draw the line at dating a family member. I'm presuming you're from Lincolnshire?

I’ve never shagged anyone who I knew was in a relationship. What’s that got to do with dating a single person from work when you are also single?

Nobody on the thread is suggesting it’s OK to have an affair. Nobody. Stop projecting.

It kind of does though. It suggests incredibly rigid and black-and-white attitudes to both work and human interaction, and a lack of ability to even imagine that a spark might ignite between two people who work together. That does sound like someone who sees the world through a very joyless lens.

I have just had a brief visual of all the men in our workplace and quite honestly I would rather hotwax and seal my fanny shut than touch any of them, single, married or anything else.

Who is talking about an affair?
I met my husband at work. We were both single so we did absolutely nothing wrong.

Whereas I have quite a few attractive male colleagues whom I could imagine dating, if I were single and looking.

Projection means attributing how you feel to someone else as a way to avoid facing your self. Not relevant to me. Stop assuming. @HighLadyofTheNightCourt the word affair is in the title of the thread.

Everyone you have had a relationship/affair with is someone you met somewhere. School, uni. work, hobbies etc. It's not that much of a surprise that some are/were colleagues.

Not all jobs are the same.
When I was a youth worker we'd obviously spend lots of time chatting and having a laugh I sessions, time before and after talking. We'd have odd nights out.

I housing so office work we chatted as we worked. The wm trades guys would cone in to get worksheets and have a natter. Xmas do yearly, odd nights out.

My husband works in an office and again, they'll chat in between tasks over the day.
I certainly made friends in both jobs so an affair is just a friend with sex really.

Your job sounds really intense if you are literally head down and working for the solid 8 hours and it's a shame cos those friendships often make working together easier and quicker.

That’s no op’s fault, it doesn’t make her dull. It means that she has an intense job, or one that has mostly independent working. Why is the first response to the thread just being rude to op for no reason. This site, I swear.