To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

My husband is two stones underweight and snores like a trooper. It’s a bit narrow minded to just think fat people snore!

And I agree with the majority- I would never agree to share with a colleague! We occasionally had to have rooms with connecting doors to colleague’s rooms when I worked away and that was bad enough.

I know the thread is getting slight derailed but my supermodel bean pole best friend (mid 30’s) snores worse than a chainsaw and always has done 😂 we all complained about it on our primary 7 boarding trip

It is if you’re sharing facilities and the person spends a long time in there and you’re keep up because she snores due to being overweight. These are the facts and relevant if posting about the challenges of sharing a room

I'm just a terrible sleeper in general - anywhere different and I struggle to sleep, I'm a really light sleeper so use white noise which someone else might hate. So it would be a rough night for me but not inappropriate, as I and other teachers have said, that's standard for staff on school trips. But I hate it so I avoid them in general!

When I was a teacher I refused to get involved with any residential trips for this exact reason - I'm not sharing a room with anyone ever (except my husband/children).

Now that I'm out of teaching I travel fairly regularly for work and get to book my own hotel rooms and I'd never be expected to share. I'd simply refuse to travel if they asked me to share.

Absolutely YANBU. You're an adult, not a 14 year old on a school field trip.
I really wouldn't accept this request from an employer as it's unreasonable.

Agreed, snoring is not always weight related and is more likely to occur with blocked sinuses more than anything else.
I know as I have suffered with sinus issues myself for over 20 years.

I think it's unsafe tbh. Your colleague is a colleague, not a friend or family member, and could be anyone.

Most of the story is irrelevant. You shouldn't be obliged to share a room with a colleague for any reason. Full stop. Doesn't matter about snoring/good/personal habits or anything else. All irrelevant. You shouldn't be obliged to share personal private space with a colleague

Steel! A boy.

OP personifies the reason that sharing a room is unacceptable … it’s a complete divulgence of your personal life. Who wants their colleague and all and sundry they gossip with, to know they take meds, have a colostomy bag, are doing IVF, wear period pants, snore, dribble, have night terrors, ibs, chronic constipation, have killer
farts and talk in their sleep? In a profit making company, that does not pay on the basis of a 24 hour day, no employee should have to reveal any of the above to justify not sharing a room nor adapt their behaviour in their down time to protect their privacy. As a pp said, in an emergency situation you can get by but on a regular working trip, no way. And as another pp said, it is worse than a dorm situation as the presence of others, even a communal bathroom rather than en-suite, dilutes the situation down.

Wrong thread

She's not actually that nice if you read her replies. I've gone right off her. Wish I hadn't spent 5 minutes trying to help her.

What a disgusting thought. Yeah let’s fat shame someone cause they snore… As you mentioned she snores like a man, many women are the same so you are also being sexist.
suck it up buttercup.

Why should she have to

i used to travel a lot for work. No WAY would I share with a colleague. Never.

I'm not sure its even legal. No way would I share with a colleague, hell no!

Why isn’t it legal? What hard facts have you got to back that up?

This 100%. The unreasonable party in this scenario is the employer. It is totally unacceptable to expect an employee to stay away from home in the course of their work without providing them with an adequate room that affords privacy.

I cannot believe this is sanctioned by HR. Is this in the UK?

You don't know that. Plenty of posters have said that they know people who snore who are smaller than that. DP snores and he weighs 9st 6lb wringing wet, as do plenty of children. It's common for people to blame weight when it's nothing to do with it.

Anyway, going by her snarky comments later on in the thread about her, it's clear that it's made up intended to steer opinion over to how awful the woman is and nothing to do with it being more normal for companies to pay for single rooms rather than twins these days. After all, what does weight or food have to do with going to the bathroom or talking to a spouse?

I would never share a room with a work colleague.

We have a small business (proper small 5-8 employees depending on the time of year). Dh takes them away for a night usually a couple times a year. Everyone gets their own room and all food and drinks paid for. There’s no limit. I mean, they can’t buy a round for the whole pub, but I’d say it’s at least £150 per person per day, every meal paid, all drinks and taxis if they go anywhere where they need them.

No excuse for a medium to large business making anyone share a room.

This. Home and social life is one thing. But work is another. Nobody should be obliged to reveal personal things to a work colleague.

I was thinking the same thing.

I was with you until this catty comment - now I think maybe you have the room mate you deserve. I guess she’s not over the moon at having to share either

In my 25+ years of travelling for work, I have never heard of anyone being expected to share a room with a colleague. Completely unheard of and 100% inappropriate.

Forget all the reasons you don’t want to share with this new colleague. Just tell your employer you are not willing to share a room with a colleague, full stop.

Have this well documented and if you are put at risk of redundancy following this stance then I think you’d have quite a strong case.