If someone called your engagement ring "cute"

[Engagementringquestion]

Would you think it was a bit bitchy? When showing a friend (who is known for giving backhanded compliments) she said "aww cute".

For reference my ring is a platinum 1.5 carat diamond solitaire and everyone else has said how stunning it is. So certainly not a cheap, small ring.

Would you be offended at this comment?

No one said it was nice to call someone fat. People are just picking up on the fact that you seem to not like her, by the words you use to describe her. It may well be a justified dislike of her, we have no way of knowing that. All we can know is you’ve used several negative ways to describe her so it very much looks like you don’t like her much

Even if it is not to her taste, why did she have to say it and piss on the OP’s chips?

Because these two clearly hate each other, and no doubt many years of the two of them trying to get one over the other.

No doubt they will be each others Maid of Honours!

Oh dear. I fear I need to explain as some posters don't understand.
When 2 grown up people love each other very much, they decide they want to get married and live together for ever and ever.
Not all mumsnetters feel like that.
Getting engaged is announcing their love and intentions to the rest of the world. This is exciting. Usually, everyone wishes them well for the next stage of their life and everyone is happy for them.
An engagement ring is a symbol of this love and intention. The recipient is usually highly delighted with the ring and wants everyone to know her future plans. That's what people in love do.
The correct etiquette is to congratulate the engaged couple/ person and say something nice about the ring. My mother always said if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Some mumsnetters could have done with being brought up by my mother.
The minimal comment should be ooh that's nice. Other comments could be dainty; exquisite; wow; it really sparkles; I love the setting; platinum? Why did you choose platinum; what sort of wedding ring are you planning on having?; that's huge; thats original; it really suits you; I've never seen a ring like that before; I do like solitaires; is it antique?. Or simply: congratulations.
Obviously, the correct comment should be chosen from the selection above, many of them would not apply to op ring.

I mean not everyone is going to gush OP, even if it is platinum and diamonds

This! As long as you love it and more importantly the person you’re marrying. Who cares what anyone else thinks!

If you look for offence you will find it.

i would take it as a compliment - it’s the kind of compliment my girl friends and I give each others outfits etc

She’s jealous. Tough titties for her not being able to close the deal she’s after.

Wear your ring at every opportunity under her nose and annoy her at every interaction with your wedding plans and how you’re so looking forward to being a wife. Don’t invite her to any hen do/bridal shower/wedding and then phase her out. She was being mean and there was no need for it.

No.

Sounds like she is jealous. Just wait till she gets engaged and her ring you can describe as cute too, hopefully it will be smaller or lab grown

She’s being a bitch. I had my (former) house called, “darling” by a family member, it was by standards then very large and brand new. Ignore!

This.

But also, she might have meant it in the Canadian/USA sense of "really nice."

Get a grip.

You sound childish and insecure tbh.

Yes, it was probably a back-handed compliment. Why does it matter? You need to take a long-hard look at why you need everyone to be completely wowed by your ring. Why do you care so much about what she thinks of you?

Yes she’s jealous! I can never find the right response at the time but if I could and it had been me I would have said “thank you! I’m so pleased he wants to get married! So many men drag their feet and keep their partners hanging don’t they?!” 🤭

I wouldn't care what anyone else thought. But yes, she's definitely being bitchy. Why are you friends with her?

A cute outfit is a good thing. A cute diamond is a small one.

It depends what you're calling cute. If you call a house cute, you're calling it small. Same with a diamond. Surely you can see that?

I really couldn't care less. As long as I liked my ring it wouldn't bother me what anyone else said, or thought. As a pp said, I wouldn't be offended, I'm an adult. Not that I can see anything wrong with her comment

OMG, do grown women actually behave like this? Pathetic.

Apologies because I've not read the whole thread, but 'cute' appears to mean something a bit different these days (to some people).

My daughter uses it to mean its nice, but she is only 17.

Maybe your friend is down with the kids OP?

Are you upset because she doesn't think it's huge? It isn't though.

Oh you poor little lamb did she not praise you for it? 😂😂😂

I'd say that she probably didn't like the ring, but didn't want to say that. I don't know why you care, as long as you like it, that's all that matters. My engagement ring is also platinum, my husband had to tell me that as I thought it was silver as I have no idea about jewellery and I don't care if others like it or not.

This

Americans are always describing everything as ‘cute’ on social media. Including engagement rings.

I think OP is being given a very hard time here. It's clearly not just about the ring - it's a pattern of oneupmanship from a supposedly close friend, even in a moment that should be about OP. That can really get under one's skin over time. Asking "Why do you care? Just be happy!" is a minimising response that ignores the human factor.

Trust your instincts OP. If you try to call these people out about their behaviour, they'll only weaponise it. So if it's a pattern, best to start withdrawing and grey rocking her.