If someone called your engagement ring "cute"

[Engagementringquestion]

Would you think it was a bit bitchy? When showing a friend (who is known for giving backhanded compliments) she said "aww cute".

For reference my ring is a platinum 1.5 carat diamond solitaire and everyone else has said how stunning it is. So certainly not a cheap, small ring.

Would you be offended at this comment?

I say cute a lot and I would hate for anyone to be offended by that word but, I think in your instance, you know it was meant as a passive aggressive insult.

And that comment makes you no better than her.

Wow, I can’t beleive people posting are jealous as well, you can see it from the jealous bitter little comments, it really is something some people struggle with isn’t it,

I have friends who refer to anything they like as cute. People, wallpapers, jewellery, an espresso martini. I wouldn't read into it.

I am completely disinterested in jewelery and don't understand why people like diamonds or other shiny stones.
I would not say this but would mumble something I thought would be appropriate. I wouldn't see cute as a negative?

This. 100%!

1 carat is a large and expensive ring.it’s absolutely jealousy.

OP- I see she isn’t engaged yet…will be interesting to see what size she ends up with as not every man is going to want to shell out for a ring that’s bigger than 1.5.

id prepare your response and make a similarly back handed compliment when the time comes, but I’m petty like that.

She is as jealous as hell.
Some people are jealous of everyone and every thing.
I have a huge flashy engagement ring. After several years of marriage my husband gave me a smaller engagement ring for our anniversary. I rotate them according to the occasion.

I rarely get comments about the smaller ring, which is probably about 0.5 carats but worth a lot. Nor do I get comments about my trilogy ring. I do get lots of comments about my big ring. Including 'is it real' (yes) and 'isn't that beautiful '. It has never been called cute.
She was being sarcastic about the size by calling it cute. Trying to demean the ring in her little girl way, festering with resentment because she hasn't got a ring. Her man doesn't want to know. Poor her.
I do know someone with a very unusual ring which could be described as cute, possibly. People usually say - that's unusual, that's unique, what are those stones?
Listen carefully for those barbed comments from now on. She will use them to others too.
If she's bitchy about wedding plans, dump her.

@Everlil

Rings are so personal, I’ve not seen another engagement ring I’ve coveted. I’m not sure why people assume if a woman doesn’t like something another woman does or has, it’s because she’s jealous - it’s such a sexist trope.

Exactly.

This puts me in mind a bit of this one time I worked with a woman 4-5 years older than me - her nearly 40, me 35-36, and she had a younger man. Her boyfriend was 24. My DH is roughly the same age as me (just a few months older.) We had been married around 8 years.

She kept going on about how a younger man is sooooooooooo much better in bed, and how other women around her age were all SO jealous of her young, fit man. 🙄 At nearly 40, I couldn't think of anything worse than being with a 24 year old! (Wouldn't even have fancied it at 35!) But each to their own!

She was saying to a new woman who had started 'my Ben is soooooo gorgeous, he's proper fit isn't BatchCookBabe?' (I thought he was scrawny and average and very boring. Rude and sullen and rarely looked at anyone, very rarely spoke. All she had in common with him was the shagging.) I said 'ummm, well, I prefer Mr BatchCookBabe but if you're happy with him, that's lovely.'

She was properly annoyed 😆 She said 'but he's gorgeous! MY Ben! ' I said 'well of course he is to you.' (I thought like fuck am I 'agreeing' Ben is gorgeous, when I didn't think he was, and how horribly disrespectful she was being towards towards my own husband who is better than Ben anyway!) She blathered on... 'A 24 year old man is better in bed than a 35 year old you know. Much better. Lasts longer!'

I said 'I KNOW how a 24 year old shags!' She said 'what?! When did you shag a 24 year old man? Does Mr BatchCookBabe know?' I said 'it IS Mr BatchCookBabe ... We met when we were and he was 23-24, and were shagging a few months after!' 😆 She was like >>>

Later that day, I heard she had been telling people I was jealous of her, as I wouldn't admit BEN was gorgeous and fit.

Silly moo! 😂 As I said, I found 'Ben' very unnappealing.

Not everyone is jealous or bitter if they don't like what you like @Engagementringquestion

.

Ignore these posters, they’re just trying to get a reaction

Youre perfectly within your rights to dislike traits of very good friends or family members, no one is perfect. She does sound catty

,

Is she American?

but more than just catty

@Engagementringquestion describes her “friend” as….
superior
tendency to give back handed compliments
Un palatable comments over the years
thinks the friend is jealous

Yep!

I don't know how 1.5 carat looks like, but if your band is small and thin, then to my eyes it would be 'dainty' and I might call it cute. I don't understand why that is a problem? Are you annoyed your ring doesn't look 'big enough'. Well that depends on many factors.

If she said 'dainty' would you still be offended?

Is bigger better when it comes to engagement rings?
I chose a small, simple engagement ring. I loved it and wouldn't have cared if anyone thought small = not nice, cheap, not enough...whatever.

Yeah she was being rude about it. The correct response is, it’s beautiful. It’s cute is deliberately passive aggressive.

Sorry to derail, but MOM is not an Americanism. Lots of people in the West Midlands say it.

Unless she’s generally clueless then yeah ‘cute’ is definitely meant as a sly put down when describing an engagement ring! Kittens are cute, engagement rings are beautiful/stunning/gorgeous!

What would you do if she called it 'stunning'? You'd probably assume she was being maliciously sarcastic seeing as you clearly don't like her.

I agree OP, it’s a bitchy comment! She knew what she was doing.

As an acquaintance of my grannies once said about a mutual friend's new mink "wild or ranch darling?" I imagine similar now applies to diamonds as far as bitches go.

You say you've grown up with her, so you know her best. She sounds jealous...who describes an engagement ring as cute?!

Just because you've been friends for years it doesn't mean she's a lovely friend. Are you friends with her for that reason?

Real friends are proud of their friends, love them and are genuinely happy for them.

Maybe focus on other friendships and downgrade her to 'acquaintence'.

God, I hate being shown engagement rings because I have no idea about what is big or tasteful or fashionable. I'd probably just say "Ooo, beautiful" but it would probably be insincere as (unless it was outstanding to me) just another ring. So I might even say it's cute because that wouldn't be an insult. But, clearly, in Engagement Ring World, it sounds like it must be. Noted.

LOL.

Oh, and what was that then? What was she doing? 🙄