To think in the past people had more stoicism and resilience and it’s a shame we’ve sort of lost that?

[Carrotted]

Towards the end of the battle of Waterloo, the Marquess of Uxbridge, a British general, had part of his leg blown off by a French cannonball. He was sitting atop his horse next to the Duke of Wellington, to whom he turned and said “By God, sir, I think I’ve lost my leg”, to which the Duke of Wellington replied “By God, sir, so you have”. He then went to the field hospital where the remaining leg was amputated without anaesthetic, while he joked with the surgeons.

Thats one individual and the story is probably elaborated for effect, but AIBU to think people in previous generations tended to be more stoic in the face of adversity. To have a “get on with it” attitude?

There are obvious downsides to that attitude, but it can have lots of benefits to have that approach to life.

AIBU?

Probably elaborated? Didn't happen more like.

People who 'get on with it' do that because they have no other choice.

Not really a great attitude to have though is it, a lot of stuff just shouldn't be put up with. And it depends how far back we want to go- boomers are the worst generation for petulance and having everything handed to them so maybe it started with them

The reason this story is a story is because it's extraordinary/unusual. You can't extrapolate from the tale of the remarkable behaviour of one man to the general population. I think if you looked for them, you'd probably easily find stories of modern day soldiers being just as stoical.

You’ve picked an extreme example but I’m with you in principle. Atm our society encourages a can’t do attitude and teaches people they can’t possibly cope with anything slightly outside of their comfort zone. Damaging to society and individuals. It’s lazy and drives me insane.

Thats not what really happened, so is a poor example. That said yes we need to treach people resilience

I imagine that the Spartans would hear this story and sigh at the snowflake tendencies of subsequent generations. Imagine leaving a battle before victory. You don't need two legs if you are on horseback. (Joking, obviously, but every generation thinks that standards are slipping.)

Well I suppose in WW2 everyone in London was in the same boat, boyfriends and husbands fighting overseas. You had no choice but to be stoic and carry on. For my nana it was hard though, her first daughter was fostered out, then as my mum was in hospital a lot as a young child she was then sent to to boarding school, presumably away from bombs but also for education and care.

Well it would make sense that we have lost resilience skills in the U.K. because our lives are so comfortable compared to what previous generations endured. But there are many people in the rest of the world who have plenty of resilience through necessity. Circumstances can change (Ill health) which can lead you to develop more resilience).

Most people in life are 'getting on with it' as best they can despite the fact trauma is pretty widespread across generations. If that's not resilience what is?

Even though that’s a really bad example I completely agree. I have long thought that somehow we need to teach resilience and the ability to cope with the ups and downs of life a bit more.

Every generation has been fully vindicated and proven correct. The fact that every generation has observed this is evidence of how weak and lacking in resilience we are now.

A silly notion, frankly. The British empire staked much of its raison d‘etre on the myth of the ‘stiff upper lip’, and this anecdote was undoubtedly invented or embellished - at the very least retold - in support of it. The British spun themselves a myth of their own inherent superiority based on stoicism being a ‘higher’ human characteristic (which other nations and ethnicities did not possess). It’s an idea that has justified untold suffering and injustice, and it’s a good thing if more recent generations are saying ‘nah, not doing that shit’. It’s up to the older generation to teach them the difference between the things worth persisting for and things that really ought to be let go.

Also resilience is developed by being supported, not by just being chucked in at the deep end and left to it.

This comic book does just that!

www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Emotosphere-Susannah-Redhead/dp/1915758297/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=101BIUVZC3JZJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.N1VNvHCMLAe6zj3OFyiNyA.9YNlQXRHpLsbgShsxy-dxvAJqYjlostoXAzLdoKbfBI&dib_tag=se&keywords=tales+of+the+emotosphere&qid=1772369846&s=books&sprefix=%2Cstripbooks%2C268&sr=1-1

I think we have

I fully support openly talking about wellbeing- physical and mental but there seems to be an inability to tolerate distress when it’s a normal and healthy response, is mislabelled as ‘something’. In some cases the person lives up to the label.

But, the society we find ourselves living in now is more stressful and over stimulating and people seem to be perpetually overwhelmed

Housing shortages and quality
Cost of Living
Job market
Racial tensions
Social Media

…are all contributing factors

Overall I do think a degree of stoicism could help avoid falling into spirals of despair but not at the expense of addressing real issues or avoiding getting help.

Absolutely agree with you, OP.
I had a dear friend who was 90 when I was 50. She often talked about fortitude and how it was a bit of a vanishing quality nowadays. I often think of that, and her.

There’s no evidence that this exchange took place, OP, though the amputation did, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up because you think you’re incapable of witty quips on the battlefield after you’ve had seven horses shot under you and had your leg shattered.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Uxbridge%27s_leg

Wtf does this mean?

I think you have a valid point about people having less resilience, but why on earth are you arguing your point with that utterly preposterous example? No one is going to take you seriously.

I've had a very tough life with lots of serious setbacks, but I learned to get on with it because there was no other choice. I am pretty stoic and many people today seem weak and whiny. They do seem to get upset at ridiculous things as well, like having to negotiate space on busy roads. It seems particularly undignified when it's manifested by grown men.

I admit that I am a bit of a ‘ snowflake ‘ at times , but historically I have just got on with it.
With old age comes more worries and problems and you don’t always have the right head space to deal with everything all at once. I wasn’t brought up to be particularly resilient, but it is also something you have to learn I think. I’ve also often found that those who go on about others being resilient can fall at the first hurdle as well, but they tend to be the do as I say not as I do types. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

ODFOD. Love, a boomer xx

This reminds me of the Monty Python sketch"Well we lived in a hole in the road! to show former generations "grit".I think we are living in more enlightened times now .Grandad used to tell the story of having his tooth pulled by a string attached to the door handle! I doubt anyone would like that now. younger people are seen as "soft".In reality they have very poor job prospects after attending Uni ,Are in debt due to Student loans ,and find it difficult to get on the housing ladder.

I think it'll swing the other way soon enough, it always does.

As a society we needed to be more educated, compassionate and understanding around ND, mental health issues, trauma and get those issues out in the open and no longer shameful.

And then it goes a bit too far and too many changes and adjustments are made which cause problems, excuses start to wear thin and we see that it's not particularly healthy for individuals or society.

Social media drives most of it and the pendulum swings too far then comes back to a point of being more balanced.

Yes, yes, yes!

We are all utter whips compared to people of my parents' generation.